Constant detentions for skirt length

[Falcon1]

My DD is 13. Since starting year 8 she’s had weekly detentions for rolling up her skirt and has been on report. She was also on report twice last year for the same thing. I keep getting emails from the school about it, but really - what can I do? This last detention we’ve said enough is enough and have grounded her but she is entirely unbothered. Her take is that she wants to wear her skirt the way she likes it and will keep doing so, and that the teachers should stop being so obsessed with her legs being on display. I kind of agree to be honest, particularly as she is doing fine academically. But I worry she’s going to be in detention her whole school career and it’s making her hate the school.

any advice most gratefully received!

She feels “disrespected”?
Wonder how the staff feel, having to look at countless arse cheeks every day?

Sorry but having your knickers and arse on full display to everyone is just not appropriate

Your DD needs to respect the school's rules - they deserve respect as much as she does, and unfortunately in life we all have to do things we don't like. It is a life lesson for her. Either she wears trousers or she wears the skirts as intended. I am a governor at the secondary school my DC's go to. We have just approved a move to kilts for the girls to prevent them being rolled up - it creates a massive bulge round the top if they roll them.

Letting school deal with it is not working is it?.
You need to help the school curb your daughter's disrespect of school rules once and for all. She is not special and has to obey the same rules as other students.
She is wasting the teachers' time.
If she were my child she would have her phone taken away for a week after each detention and would be told that schools need rules and kids follow them. Buying her some trousers might also be a solid stance you could take.

Your daughter is sabotaging her own education and that of her friends. Teachers should not have to remind children to obey simple rules. And she isnot lovely and kind to her teachers. They are having to nag her. Your daughter is arrogant.

'She wants to wear her skirt how she likes it'. No one 'likes' having their arse on display unless they are doing it for male attention. It's that I'd be bothering about.

Teachers are leaving the profession because everything is a battle and parents don’t want to take responsibility for their children’s behaviour. Of course students have rolled up their skirts for years. What’s changed is the way parents react to the school. School staff and parents should be working in partnership. It’s the ideal situation for young people who all thrive on consistency. My comment related to the impression that OP didn’t want to take any action to support the school.

Give her trousers and tell her that flashers get criminal records.

I’ve never understood why there’s a contingent who think teachers should put up with students flashing their pants at them. If she wants some respect she needs to understand that the rest of society doesn’t want to see her privates.

I would just let her do the detentions. No wonder she gets all her homework done!

Take her phone/laptop/tv away as well as grounding. - if that doesn’t work leave her to detentions from school.

I've never understood why these girls wear their skirts so short. Round our way, some of the skirts are so short you can see their knickers. For some reason it is usually youngish girls, and out of uniform, we have seen shorts so short we see bum cheeks!.
OK, I am retired so maybe old fashioned, but I was at school in the 60s, when again some wanted their skirts very short, but there was a rule, and girls were sent home if their skirts were too short.

So she actively thinks your decisions and school rules don't apply to her.....she's going to get a shock as she grows up and attends college, university, gets a job etc

Agreed. She's "so lovely" and unspoilt that she thinks she's above rules that apply to everyone.

My DD is in 6th form now and I’ve had this sort of thing throughout her time in secondary school.

If it’s not skirt length (she ended up taking all her skirts to a tailors and getting them all shortened with her babysitting money!), it’s jewellery infringements or non-uniform PE kit.

I gave up in the end. If she’s willing to take the detentions to dress how she likes then so be it, it’s her choice.

I have a policy in my house that if she breaks my rules she’s punished at home, if she breaks school rules, she’s punished in school only. There are some crossover rules such as the requirement to do homework or manners and if she breaks those then she is punished both in school and at home.

@FluffyMcFluffFace I hate to break this to you, but we have kilts and the girls still roll up their skirts. They don't care about the massive, bulky roll of fabric round their waist. Teenage logic!

Personally, I don't think it's a good look when a girl's blazer is longer than her skirt. Call me old fashioned about that if you want to.

Put her in the trousers as she can’t follow the rules. Let her form tutor know and if she turns up in a skirt follow that up with consequences for defiance.

Society has rules for clothing based on the situation. Clothes that are suitable for nights out or the beach are not suitable for work. It is not that the clothes are inappropriate full stop, they are not appropriate for a professional environment. No one should have to avert their gaze because teenagers are exposing their underwear. Girls often do this with their skirts being too short, either going up stairs or when seated and you can see under the table or their backpack pulls the skirt up either further. Boy can do this with their trousers too low slung.

Complete nonsense. Girls dress for other girls. They want other girls to think they look nice, not for the male gaze.

My DD couldn’t give a shit about what the boys think she looks like. But she cares massively if other girls thinks she looks like a dork or fat or ugly or frumpy.

I’m not too dissimilar. If a friend says she loves my outfit, it makes me feel a lot happier than if my DH does.

I see this as a problem for the teachers. If they cannot inform the child in a way that it can learn & understand, then the teachers must try harder to improve their skills at instruction & help the child more.
After all, what will be the final punishment to try to enforce this rule, or are they happy to give permanent detentions?

One more detention, and the phone is gone.

So schools should go along with lazy parents who are happy for their sprogs to break any rule that doesn't please them? Maybe when these precious ones start to drive they can drive in the middle of the road because driving on the left disrespects them and when they are constantly fired for being the employee from hell you can come back here to complain.
We all have to live with things we don't like. Were I still teaching I wouldn't want to get involved with all the out-of-school trouble that parents are encouraged to dump on schools because they can't or won't deal with it but if that was necessary then I suppose I would have to waste time from actual teaching to do so.

She needs to understand there’s also uniform expectations for how you dress in the workplace so she needs to realise just because she wants to dress a certain way, it’s not always appropriate.

the school I work at give them 2 or 3 warnings then they’re banned from wearing a skirt

My DD’s school moved to pleated skirts instead of straight ones as it was thought they would be harder to roll.

A lot of girls (mine included) ended up getting the pleats sewn up. Extremely annoying considering the skirts are £50 a pop.

My friends secondary has moved to culottes. I think that’s the only way to get around short skirts. They all hate them though.

I’m team daughter here. Teaching a young woman she has to go along with pointless petty rules, typically generated by men, and yes no doubt she’ll have that in jobs in future, isn’t supporting her to grow have boundaries and confident. I was a good girl, prefect, followed rules as I was told etc and frankly if I’d been taught that sometimes it was ok to question (male) authority I may have challenged the Saturday job shop owner who would squeeze the schoolgirls arms so tightly when telling them tasks it would leave five fingerprint bruises, the partner in another Saturday job I had who wait til I was at the sink to have to squeeze past me, and so on. This is the thin edge. Start your DD off right OP. I’d go back to school saying what is the reason for the skirt length rule to explain to her, bet it’s ‘so the boys don’t get distracted’. That’s not on her. And that’s very close to ‘how short was the skirt you were wearing the night the man sexually assaulted you’. We know where this all goes!

She is a kid, she has to kid by the rules or wear trousers.

How stupid.

Nobody ever learnt better in a short skirt.

abide by the rules

got to love kids these days-disrepesp[ected my arse

i know of a father who went to complain because his child got told off for talking-they think theyre untouchable