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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

what if my boy fails all his exams 😭

165 replies

ChangingChances89 · 18/08/2025 22:15

cant sleep keep thinkin bout thursday. ds gettin his results n my stomach just turns over every time i think of it. i feel like if he dont get what he needs then i failed him as a mum.

hes such a quiet boy, keeps to himself, xbox n music, but hes had same help as the other kids so what if it werent enough?? i keep picturing him openin that envelope n its all fails 😢 what will happen then??

i been cryin in the bathroom tonight so the others dont see. just wanna protect him but i cant do this bit for him.

any other mums feel like this?? like u just wanna take it away from them.

OP posts:
Helpwithdivorce · 19/08/2025 18:59

Does he have another parent? Grandparent? Close friend or their husband that can help him? Because, and I don’t mean to be rude, it sounds like you’re struggling to be of much use to him at the moment and he could really do with someone who is more clued up on this stuff that can get him applied to a college or course that he wants to do. I’m sure you’re a wonderful mum. But this doesn’t seem like your strong point and even with guidance on previous threads you haven’t managed to help him

swampwitch0 · 19/08/2025 19:28

Gcse grades:
9 - A**
8 - A*
7 - A
6 - B
5 - C +
4 - C
3 - D
2 - E
1 - F
U - ungraded

Entry requirements are different for post 16 provisions (6th forms, FE colleges etc...)

Some colleges do level 1 courses such as functional skills in English and Maths.

I think you need to try and spend results day with your son, and help him navigate his choices - because there are always choices.

There should be staff at the school available on results day to talk to you and your son.

Stop panicking, start supporting.

Good luck

JellyBeanSpring25 · 19/08/2025 19:43

JellyBeanSpring25 · 19/08/2025 16:03

OP @ChangingChances89

• Did you look on the portal for his predicted grades?

• Did you help him complete application form?

• Have you arranged childcare so you can support him on Thursday once he gets his grades and help get him enrolled?

OP @ChangingChances89

Did you see my earlier Qs? You say he has applied for college, what course? Is this in line with his predicted grades? Have you had response from college?

And most importantly - have you arranged to be available for him to support him on Thursday, whatever the outcome?

PinkFrogss · 19/08/2025 20:06

What are the entry requirements? Even if you don’t understand them copy and paste them here.

Have you got anything planned for his birthday?

Original poster
ChangingChances89 · 19/08/2025 20:41

yes he’s applied, we did it together back in july, i sat with him n helped fill it in like ppl told me to. i just get worried cos i dunno if his grades will be enough for the one he picked. i kno if not they’ll move him onto somethin else but it still makes me panic.

i’m tryin to keep on top of it all but it feels like my head gets full n i forget bits. i will go with him on thurs no matter what so he don’t have to do it alone. thanks to everyone explainin things clear, it does help even if i don’t always sound like i take it in xx

OP posts:
StMarie4me · 19/08/2025 20:49

AntiBullshit · 18/08/2025 22:33

Wpuld He be interested in an apprenticeship?

Totally this! Look on Find an Apprenticeship and see what’s out there! If he doesn’t get great grades, he could do Functional Skills Maths and English alongside anything from IT to Engineering!

Needmorelego · 19/08/2025 20:50

@ChangingChances89 ok so breathe and relax.
There's nothing you can do until Thursday.
There's basically two possibilities.
1 - he gets the required grades for the course he has applied to.
2 - He doesn't get the grades so the college will help him with an alternative.
Either of those are fine.

Theunamedcat · 19/08/2025 21:01

Your not the only one frozen in panic here we have a plan he has applied for a course but what if he doesn't get the grades? He isnt academic on paper everyone has seriously let him down he cannot write legibly really his handwriting is fucking awful he has inattentive ADHD most likely but we have been bumbling through a non diagnosis for years while he struggled the school see he struggled told everyone he was struggling we tried everything EVERYTHING and it all hinges on Thursday if he doesn't get his marks he will be devastated

I'm feeling partly frozen I'm the adult I need to be the adult I AM being the adult but it's pressure on top of pressure

He is bright but not on paper and paper is where it counts

DueyCheatemAndHow · 19/08/2025 21:06

ChangingChances89 · 19/08/2025 12:19

thank u all, its helpin me calm a bit. hes said he wants to do sport at college but i dont even know what grades he needs for that 😕 i just keep thinkin what if he dont get in anywhere, like its all on this one bit of paper.

im tryin not to let him see im stressin cos i know that wont help, just wanna be able to say same as u lot, that we will sort it out whatever happens.

When you say you think, how engaged have you been?

You said he's had the same support from school but how has home been?

DueyCheatemAndHow · 19/08/2025 21:07

Sorry I've just read all the posts.

I'm a bit confused - are you saying you've helped him apply to college but still don't know what the actual possible grades are?

SomeOfTheTrouble · 19/08/2025 21:10

What grades does he need for the course he’s applied for and what is he predicted?

TheLivelyViper · 19/08/2025 21:11

DueyCheatemAndHow · 19/08/2025 21:07

Sorry I've just read all the posts.

I'm a bit confused - are you saying you've helped him apply to college but still don't know what the actual possible grades are?

She doesn't know/is worried about whether DS will get the grades he needs for the college application. Obviously if he doesn't they're still pathways for him, doing a level 1 and then progressing to level 2 etc. But OP is hoping he'll get what he needs to go straight onto his college course.

DS from last threads is predicted a mix of 4s and 5s.

Sallycinnamum · 19/08/2025 21:12

I too am dreading Thursday. DS is a great kid. Goes to Explorer Scouts, is about to start gold Duke of Edinburgh, has a nice bunch of mates etc but academically he really struggles.

We had English and Maths tutors for 18 months leading up to his GCSEs but in his mocks was still getting grade 3s.

He needs 4s to get on his engineering BTEC but worse comes to the worse he can resit and take a level 2 course alongside it.

Don't panic, there are lots of options but round here you have to enrol on Thursday to be in with getting a course place.

Prepare for the worst and make sure you know what to do on Thursday whether he gets the right grades or not.

EdinburghMayhem · 19/08/2025 21:30

Then he sits them again. College or school. It's not the end of the world. He can sit exams through night school if he wants to just work. But when he's mature enough to want to move on and needs the qualifications, he'll have them.

Tuih · 19/08/2025 22:24

I failed all my exams back in the day, there’s always a way forward. Not panicking is key, before he gets the results look up on the college website what he needs to get, if he misses those grades he needs to ring up and find out if they will accept him with what he’s got or alternatives such as resitting maths and English along side his chosen course or other completely different alternatives. He’s wanting to do sports, what is his post college dream looking like in terms of what job he wants?

Original poster
ChangingChances89 · 20/08/2025 00:14

he put down sport at the college near us, i think its level 2 but if his grades aren’t enough they said they’ll put him on level 1 instead. i don’t always understand all the entry stuff but that’s what i gathered when we filled it in.

i will be with him all day thurs, it’s his birthday too so i’ve sorted childcare for the others n will take him for food after, even if results not what he wants. i kno i panic a lot but i don’t want him thinkin i don’t care cos i really do.

OP posts:
murasaki · 20/08/2025 00:50

If its level one , he's still got something sorted. You need to go with him and advocate for him if he can't. This is your chance to stand up for you child and heĺp him. Or he will be a multiple baby daddy like you.

Ýou want better for him., don' t you..

Teenagerantruns · 20/08/2025 01:00

Honestly, you maybe should have looked at options sooner? My DD didn't get the grades she for her college course. We all knew that would happen, but l went to the the college with after she picked up her results, they gave her a place based on her interview before the exams and on condition she resat her maths and English. She then did access course and went on to uni.
Most 6th form colleges will be open on results day. You just go and sort it out..

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 20/08/2025 01:00

If you get ' muddled ' write it down.

Get a pen or pencil and a note pad and make notes, all grades etc have been explained to you on this thread as have the different levels of courses that are out there.

You have all day tomorrow to do this and to make sense of it all, then you will be ready for Thursday if needed.

PinkFrogss · 20/08/2025 07:44

ChangingChances89 · 20/08/2025 00:14

he put down sport at the college near us, i think its level 2 but if his grades aren’t enough they said they’ll put him on level 1 instead. i don’t always understand all the entry stuff but that’s what i gathered when we filled it in.

i will be with him all day thurs, it’s his birthday too so i’ve sorted childcare for the others n will take him for food after, even if results not what he wants. i kno i panic a lot but i don’t want him thinkin i don’t care cos i really do.

Sounds like you’ve just answered your question then OP. If he gets his fees he does sports at college, even if he doesn’t get his grades he does sport at college.

Original poster
ChangingChances89 · 20/08/2025 09:20

he’s predicted mostly 4s with maybe a 5 in english but maths has always been the hardest. he did apply for sport at the local college like i said before, if he doesn’t get enough then they said he can go on level 1 and try again.

i know i should’ve been more on top of it sooner but honestly it all feels overwhelming, numbers and grades just go round my head. i’ve written down the grade scale someone posted so i don’t get muddled again.

i will be with him on thurs no matter what. i don’t want him thinking he’s on his own in this. even if it’s not the result he wants we’ll sit with the college and find another way.

OP posts:
JellyBeanSpring25 · 20/08/2025 09:22

If he gets 4s and 5s, he’ll be able to do a Level 3 surely?

SomeOfTheTrouble · 20/08/2025 09:30

ChangingChances89 · 20/08/2025 09:20

he’s predicted mostly 4s with maybe a 5 in english but maths has always been the hardest. he did apply for sport at the local college like i said before, if he doesn’t get enough then they said he can go on level 1 and try again.

i know i should’ve been more on top of it sooner but honestly it all feels overwhelming, numbers and grades just go round my head. i’ve written down the grade scale someone posted so i don’t get muddled again.

i will be with him on thurs no matter what. i don’t want him thinking he’s on his own in this. even if it’s not the result he wants we’ll sit with the college and find another way.

I get that it’s overwhelming if you’re unfamiliar with the system, but as he’s still a child it’s your job as a parent to support him through this. It’s no good saying ‘I get muddled’; if you don’t understand it, you need to speak to someone who does.

ormiwtbte · 20/08/2025 10:33

he’s predicted mostly 4s with maybe a 5 in english but maths has always been the hardest. he did apply for sport at the local college like i said before, if he doesn’t get enough then they said he can go on level 1 and try again

Then it sounds like he will be ok because he has a college place anyway and he'll start on which ever level is suitable based on the grades he gets.

Please stop catastrophizing.

Also, I understand you getting muddled reading information on a college website but you can always phone up and ask for advice if there's something you don't understand. So depending on what happens tomorrow you can phone up and say "Hi, I was wondering if you could help me. My son is interested in/has applied to/has been offered a place on X course but I don't really understand the entrance requirements and if he's got the grades to do the course." They will then give you some info, ask about his grades and give you a chance to ask more questions if you need to. You can ask them what he needs to do next etc.

Honestly, OP, people in general are really helpful and nice and they will be used to people phoning up for help and advice.

KilkennyCats · 20/08/2025 11:03

Maybe a 5 in English. Is that a predicted grade or not?