what if my boy fails all his exams 😭

[ChangingChances89]

cant sleep keep thinkin bout thursday. ds gettin his results n my stomach just turns over every time i think of it. i feel like if he dont get what he needs then i failed him as a mum.

hes such a quiet boy, keeps to himself, xbox n music, but hes had same help as the other kids so what if it werent enough?? i keep picturing him openin that envelope n its all fails 😢 what will happen then??

i been cryin in the bathroom tonight so the others dont see. just wanna protect him but i cant do this bit for him.

any other mums feel like this?? like u just wanna take it away from them.

I’ve been following your posts and I’m a bit confused. Have you actually contacted the colleges to find out what grades he needs for the sports courses? Applied online?

whatever happens, you need to stay calm, there isn’t only one way to being a ‘success’

You and he urgently need to see what courses he wants to do and what he needs to do them. I am surprised that you have not supported him to apply already. You will need to be proactive on Thursday and contact the college to see if he can have a place.

On her previous threads, the OP seemed to have learned a lot, eg looking school portals for the younger ones so hopefully this won't happen again. This didn't happen with the eldest. His school is a bit at fault for not picking up that she wasn't engaging. But what's done is done and she needs to look with her DS today so they have some ideas for thursday.

Look at level 1 and 2 BTECs at colleges near you.

He could do a level 1 alongside retaking maths and English GCSE without any passes.

If he passes some then a level 2 could be an option.

Mumsnet is very academic focused. You mostly only see posts about the high achievers. There are options for those that don't do well at GCSEs and life does carry on without GCSE passes.

Has he sst his exams already or is he sitting next summer?

If he's already sat them then he does need to speed up in terms of finding suitable colleges with level 1 and 2 BTECs. Most students will already have enrolled but most colleges will still take applications right into September, subject to available places on the chosen course.

Get Googling local colleges near you and look online at the courses they offer.

@Lindy2 - this has nothing to do with MN being academic focused! It must now be six weeks since the OP’s first thread on this topic - where she was told exactly what you are writing now. The same in countless subsequent threads. I’ve been amongst those trying to bolster her confidence in supporting her son. Repeatedly. So I admit to being surprised that no progress appears to have been made regarding college applications.

@ChangingChances89 have you not done any of the things suggested to you in previous threads?

Maybe ‘surprise’ is not quite the word …

I know how long it can take me to do something I’m afraid of - years sometimes, while life trickles into the gutter. But it’s so bloody frustrating when someone repeatedly asks for help and advice and support and then seems to ignore it.

What’s going on, @ChangingChances89? Yes, pregnancy, sofa bed, useless maybe ex boyfriend, etc. But you acknowledged the urgency of helping your oldest son weeks ago, and seemed to understand the advice you were given. So why do you still have no idea of required grades for college courses?

The important ones are Math And English. As long as he gets a 4 in those he can progress to vocational college- and even if he gets a 3 or less they usually have a system to retake those two.
Despite decent predictions my son got one 2, 6 x 3s and a 4 (English). He had already decided to do a level 3 PT and fitness instructor course, and he retook his Math (4) there. He worked part time then and now full time and no one cares about his GCSEs.
A friend’s DD has tried to pass her Maths GCSE four times. She works as an emergency nurses aid in a big London hospital. She will need her math at some point (though I don’t get why), but she has done very well with only a couple GCSEs.
So get a plan B. There are many courses out there. If he eventually feels he wants to attend higher education he can take an access course.

oh i didnt even know there was diff levels, thank u. gonna look at the college site later, just wish it was more clear n easy to understand cos i get muddled with all the numbers 😣 but if theres a level 1 then at least he cud still do sport even if his grades not what he hoped. thats made me feel bit better xx

Please look at more than one college, check their minimum requirements, note phone numbers etc so you are ready to go on Thursday as it may be first come first served.

Yes you do, you've been given that information on other threads.

Have you contacted college yet to find out his options?

@ChangingChances89 has he actually applied to the college to do the course?
Please tell me he has?
You said he was going to and you were going to help him do that.
He needs to have applied ALREADY.
He should know EXACTLY what grades he needs for it.
If he doesn't get the required grades then the college will help him find the appropriate course he can do.
Be he should have applied already.

Actually I’m sure on another thread the OP said she had sat with her son while he filled in and submitted a college application form.

Isn’t that so, @ChangingChances89?

If you don't understand anything ,just feel free to ask on here and also ask Google AI Gemini or chatgpt for a basic and uncomplicated explanation as well. On the day ask the teachers at your DS's school and when you go to the college to enroll - ask teachers or staff to explain anything you want and make it more simple (you have to say if you don't understand and not let embarassment mean you just pretend you get it). This is about your DS and put them before any embarrassment you may have. Also, ask the teachers at his school and the college to write anything down for you and/or help you to fill out any forms.

Also, ask the college staff and teachers for their emails, so you can contact them whenever you need (ask on results day when you go to the college to enrol). Ask the college staff anything you want on the day about the courses - push for them to enrol him no matter his grades and also ask for him to get on a different cource depending on his grades as PP have said above. Make sure you enrol at the college, after you get results from the secondary school, then go to the college with DS.

Ir doesn’t sound like you’re doing much research outside of this thread, OP. I know it can be confusing so here’s my massive explanation, other posters please feel free to add/correct:

GCSE English and Maths

• Pretty much all Universities require at least a grade 4 in English and maths (sometimes science too, depending on the subject).
• Even if you take A Levels or BTECs, you’ll be expected to have those GCSE passes by the time you apply to uni.
• Sixth form colleges will usually make you resit them alongside your chosen course if you didn’t pass at school.

A levels

• Entry requirements for A Levels: At least 5 GCSEs at grade 4-6, usually including English and maths. Some subjects (like maths, sciences, or languages) often need grade 6 or above in those areas.
• Applications for sixth forms to sit A levels usually open October-March of Year 11. If he has not applied for this already he will likely need to take a year out or ring sixth forms directly and ask if they will take his application late.
• A Levels are the most traditional route into university. Most universities ask for 3 A Levels, with entry requirements expressed in grades (e.g. BBB, AAB, etc.).

BTECs
Qualifications based on a mix practical learning, coursework and exams. There are three levels, and lots of universities accept Level 3 BTECs instead of, or as well as, A levels:

• Level 3 (National/Extended Diploma): Equivalent to 3 A Levels. Needs roughly 4s at GCSE. This can absolutely lead to university.
• Level 2 (First Diploma / Technical Certificate): Equivalent to GCSEs. Does not lead directly to university, but you can progress to Level 3.
• Level 1 (Introductory Certificate): For those with grade 1s or no GCSE passes. Does not lead directly to university, and is usually followed by Level 2, then Level 3.
• BONUS: Foundation programmes are a one-year course to build up skills if you don’t meet Level 3 entry requirements.

Your biggest issue is your son has not applied to any sixth forms, study colleges, A level courses, or BTEC courses and will likely have missed the standard application windows.
There will be places that run enrolment / open days in the weeks after results, where you can literally walk in with your GCSE results and talk to staff. You HAVE to starting researching this now, as these will be very soon after results day.

OP @ChangingChances89

• Did you look on the portal for his predicted grades?

• Did you help him complete application form?

• Have you arranged childcare so you can support him on Thursday once he gets his grades and help get him enrolled?

This is what @ChangingChances89 wrote on 27th July this year:

I did college application with ds1 earlier like one of you said, sat with him with a cuppa and filled it out. he didn't say much but he did it. we printed the confirmation off and i put it in a folder like someone suggested last week. his birthday is results day so i'm gonna go with him even if he acts like he don't want me there. it's important. he's got to know i'm trying.

It was under a different user name but I’m sure OP knows that her situation is completely recognisable. So according to that and subsequent posts her son has applied to a college.

That’s helpful information, your son is in a better position than I first thought, OP.

@ChangingChances89 I think you and your son need outside support. There is a lot of information provided on your previous posts, but it sounds like its overlwhelming for you. Get in touch with a college and say that you have trouble understanding the process, and remembering information and reading numbers, and you really want your son to get into college but you can't help him. They have people who can help him. You don't need to understand or remember anything, just call a college and talk to someone. Let them know its overwhelming for you but you want to help your son.

And please remember that I have DMd you every time you have posted offering my help. I haven't ever received a response, but the offer still stands.

Functional skills are not always level 1 qualifications. They are available at multiple levels - Entry 1, Entry 2, Entry 3, level 1 and Level 2.

GCSEs aren’t always level 2 qualifications. It depends on the grades. GCSE grades 1-3 are level 1 and GCSE grades 4-9 are level 2.

I know. I wanted to generalise for the OP as many PP had detailed posts and I realised she may not understand what they are. I also said a Level 2 I'd equivalent to a GCSE, I didn't sat they're always GCSEs as they aren't. I used those comparisons so OP has a better view for the nature of the qualification and the standard sort of. I also know that yes if you get below a 4 but not a U at GCSE that's a Level 1 qualification but obviously means you haven't met the aims of the GCSE qualification and so should likely start with a Level 1 first (unless you only got below a 4 in one of two subjects - then resit those). Thanks for the clarity, I just wanted to make all the terms less daunting and confusing for OP, but thanks again. We are have the same goal on this thread, to help OP get better at all the aspects she's been struggling with foe DS1 and her other children as well.

@ChangingChances89 As mentioned, by others, please sort out childcare so you can spend the whole day with DS1 mainly. Also get him a present or something sentimental (it doesn't have to be expensive) and maybe a dinner at a place that's affordable for everyone could be nice, at a place of DS1's choosing.

Have you contacted the midwife about your mental health issues and how your felling? Did you ask the midwife about referrals to Early Help and Family Solutions where you live?

i kno i sound thick but i swear i didnt get all this before, like i read stuff but then it dont stick in my head n i get muddled 😔 i been on the college site but it just says “entry requirements” with numbers that confuse me. i didn’t realise the levels was like that til ppl explained here.

we did apply to the local college but i still dunno if he’ll get on the course he wants, that’s what’s makin me panic. i just want him to have somethin he likes n not feel like a failure.

thanks to ppl bein patient, it helps more than u kno xx

OP might be struggling, but she still needs accurate information in order to be able to support DS. It isn’t helpful to generalise to the point of giving inaccurate information.

I didn’t say you said all level 2 qualifications are GCSEs. I said GCSEs aren’t always level 2 qualifications because they aren’t.

So have you spoken to the college to find out?
I understand your position but you have to be pro-active when it comes to your child's education and future.

I really think you need outside help from a professional agency. You seem no further forward than you were 2-3 weeks ago.

If you don't understand something then you need to ring college and speak to someone. Ask for help.