Accidentally booked holiday for A level results day 2026. DD mad at me!

[Onecrazymama]

My DD is sitting her A levels next year in 2026 and then planning a gap year. She isn't even sure about going to University at all and despite being predicted all A's for her her subjects she isn't planning to apply to a university for 2026. She may apply for a 2027 place though once she realises what hard work getting a real job is 🤦🏻‍♀️.

So I went ahead and booked a package holiday for August 2026 to Spain for her, my husband and other child. Then about a week after I'd booked I realised it would mean we are away for her A level results day 🤦🏻‍♀️. We'll be back 5 days later, she can get a friend to collect them for her and obviously as she's not planning to go to uni I thought she'd be absolutely fine about this.

However, she has caused an huge fuss and wants me to change it! I've looked into moving it until after results day but it is going to cost £320 extra. We really can't afford that and the holiday itself is already alot more than we would usually spend and it's going to push our finances as it is. We booked the holiday as treat for her to be away for her birthday, celebrate finishing school etc and now I feel terrible. I don't know what to do for the best! Right now I feel like cancelling it completely 😞. She's being horrible to me, telling me she won't come on holiday and saying I'm being selfish. My husband says he doesn't want to discuss it! As far as he's concerned we aren't changing the date as it isn't actually important or necessary for her to collect her results in person as she isn't going to uni. Does anyone have any advice or just something to make me feel better 😞

FFS.

The daughter isn’t even going to uni this autumn.

This whole thread is totally, utterly batshit nuts.

Daughter should be grateful for getting a lovely holiday.

Again, out of touch.

What you’re not realising is the DAY is a big event. It’s not about getting the grades or getting into uni, it’s the celebrations and atmosphere after.

I don’t know how many people have to explain it to you. I have been on some lovely holidays, been very lucky in that regard. I wouldn’t have given up my results day for a single one of them. It means a lot to people.

Just cancel it. She doesn’t want to go, fair enough. Book something else for yourself at a different date.

We wouldn’t have dreamed of our parents going with us to collect results. In fact my parents were on holiday for my O and A level results and also when I gave birth to twins 😆 Different times indeed.

I’m not sure many people have suggested that the parents are/need to be there to collect the results.

I didn’t go with my daughter or son to get any of their results. But it was still a big day for them. Even if they aren’t going to uni, it’s the end of something.

I have to agree with you on the thread being totally, utterly batshit nuts.

Despite the OP’s update earlier, which would satisfy many contributors, people were (and are) still piling on with the, “you’re preventing your daughter from having one of the most momentous occasions she’ll ever have” line.
It was never on the cards. The OP said her daughter had already said she wouldn’t go on the holiday while kicking off. Therefore, as I and others had suggested, OP’s daughter would have probably stayed at home for A level results day regardless and so wouldn’t have missed out (unless she changed her mind again). Now some are piling on because the daughter has agreed to contribute to the cost of changing the holiday dates! 🙄

One thing I’ve found interesting about the assumption that the driver for the OP’s daughter was not missing out on the camaraderie of everyone getting their results and celebrating/commiserating is OP said her daughter had specifically wanted to be away on holiday for her 18th and not celebrate it with friends… Seems a bit incongruent to me that you would be really concerned about celebrating your A level results with friends but not that fussed about celebrating your 18th with them.

I’ll go further. Based on quite a few things OP has said, it sounds like she’s dealing with someone who changes her mind on what she wants quite regularly and it’s hard to keep track of it. This does get tiresome. I think the OP should be cut slack by a lot of people who have essentially condemned her.

Let’s also not overlook on the whole changing minds point that OP said initially her daughter’s reaction to the fact the original holiday dates meant they’d be away for results day was she didn’t care. Then about 4 days later she started freaking out about it.

At the end of the day the daughter won’t be missing out on A level results day and gets to go on holiday to a resort she wanted to go to. Is it really such a hard existence that she’s paying a contribution to the cost of the holiday dates being changed?

An extension to the point you made is the parents don’t need to and won’t be there for the celebrations/commiserations night out either. Their presence is not required (or wanted)! There was always the option of the daughter, as she’d told her mother she would do before OP began this thread, staying home and not going on holiday. when OP, her husband and other daughter did.

The only reason I could see for the OP, her husband and younger daughter being at home was the proximity to the elder daughter’s 18th, which by all accounts the daughter wanted to be away on holiday for anyway and had confirmed this to the OP when she’d double-checked.

I appreciate that it wasn’t specifically mentioned here but have seen so many posts in recent days about parents going with children to collect results. It’s just different to how it used to be. It was just assumed we’d do well …..
Although still not sure how my parents managed to be uncontactable for days after I’d had their first grandchildren 😆

Maybe an important day but as OP says, it is not like she is dependent on these results at the moment and easy enough to get a friend to open them for her.

lors of time for her to cool her jets. I’d remain firm re holiday but say it’s her choice as to whether she comes or not.

She prob wants the whole opening envelope and screaming with her mates/hugging teachers/going to the pub.
If you can't afford to change the holiday, you go and she doesn't.

Also you can have holidays anytime you only get your a level results once. There’s no comparison really

I’m not sure it’s that easy, at my school and my children’s school you would have had to have given written permission for someone else to get your results.

But I don’t think that is really the point. I can see the issue has been resolved any way. Good luck to the OPs daughter.

It’s a an incredibly important day, you need to pay the cost of moving it.

These days you don't have to go in, look on a board, all online. With the magic of technology she can hook up with her friends at any point in the day.

Even when it was having to go in or post a few after I would've been fine with my parents booking me a lovely holiday ☺️

Of course the results are a big deal but they're instant now.

Agree 👍

Could she move herself flight and join you the next day?

Um, my child has just has his A level results a few days ago. I DO know what a big deal it is, but I don't think he'd want to cut a holiday short for this. It's not the biggest event of his life.

Rather late to the party, but I think you've done exactly the right thing by changing the dates of your holiday, my worry was that she would have been upset throughout her final school year without the date change and this could have affected her grades.

I remember I was pretty ghastly to some family members in my final year at school, I think it sort of goes with the territory!

Good luck with the coming year and have a wonderful holiday next summer 💕🩷

Oh well if that's the case I'd definitely be changing it!

Going to university or not, she clearly wants to be there. And you as her mom, don't you want to be there seeing her?
The only face a child is looking to see in the crowd (and no matter how old) are their parents. I appreciate the holidays comes at great expense, but this is her one time only graduation. You want to he there mom and you want her to be there. There must be a way to budget somehow for 300£ to push your holidays. Show her that she matters, otherwise she will not forget this and probably not forgive you for lifetime.

Tell your husband your daughter is more important and he can go by himself or go with you on the changed dates. I don't understand how a father/parents can be so selfish

But true.

That's why so many children comes out disrespectful and no contact with their parents. Cause the parents never actually bothered to find out what matters for their child, they only do what they want, reminding children they should be grateful. Then they end up old with no one, moaning how ungrateful their children are when they actually gave them all. Yes all they decided is right, not ever listening or tried to understand them.

He clearly came out of boarding school 'damaged'. And now he is living subconsciously, not even seeing what he's doing to his daughter.

You sound so convinced of that. Only spoilt children behave like that.

I never had a holiday my whole childhood as my mother couldn't afford it. It was so outside the realms of possibility to have a foreign holiday at any age during my childhood.That results day or not, I would have taken it and been incredulous that I was getting to go.

How about some gratitude from the teenager?Rather than her being a spoilt, little brat about what she's not getting.

Picture may look at the very different in a year's time. Perhaps she ll fail everything or do really badly and be glad she's away.