Accidentally booked holiday for A level results day 2026. DD mad at me!

[Onecrazymama]

My DD is sitting her A levels next year in 2026 and then planning a gap year. She isn't even sure about going to University at all and despite being predicted all A's for her her subjects she isn't planning to apply to a university for 2026. She may apply for a 2027 place though once she realises what hard work getting a real job is 🤦🏻‍♀️.

So I went ahead and booked a package holiday for August 2026 to Spain for her, my husband and other child. Then about a week after I'd booked I realised it would mean we are away for her A level results day 🤦🏻‍♀️. We'll be back 5 days later, she can get a friend to collect them for her and obviously as she's not planning to go to uni I thought she'd be absolutely fine about this.

However, she has caused an huge fuss and wants me to change it! I've looked into moving it until after results day but it is going to cost £320 extra. We really can't afford that and the holiday itself is already alot more than we would usually spend and it's going to push our finances as it is. We booked the holiday as treat for her to be away for her birthday, celebrate finishing school etc and now I feel terrible. I don't know what to do for the best! Right now I feel like cancelling it completely 😞. She's being horrible to me, telling me she won't come on holiday and saying I'm being selfish. My husband says he doesn't want to discuss it! As far as he's concerned we aren't changing the date as it isn't actually important or necessary for her to collect her results in person as she isn't going to uni. Does anyone have any advice or just something to make me feel better 😞

It’s not just that. He is ignoring some thign which is important to your DD and you because he thinks want he wants is more important.

We are always away for results day. It adds to the fun and the memories! We have got results wherever we are in the world. We are in Asia now. Son relieved his resits went ok and he’s accepted his university place from here.
maybe explain that there is no need to be home for results and more fun on holiday

Get her to find a part time job so she can contribute to the cost of changing the dates.

Yes it is, just buy a standalone flight for her to return early or join you late.

Just because it's a package doesn't mean scheduled airlines don't also fly the same route.

OP it's fine if a student wants to be away, I work in a private school as an exams officer and many of the pupils live abroad or are on far flung holidays on results day. BUT this is a choice. Your DD doesn't want to be on holiday and hasn't made that choice.

She doesn't have a job and I think part of the reason my DH is so reluctant to change it is because she's spent the last year with really quite a horrible selfish attitude! I'm sure this is just typical teenage behaviour but she is still really immature and doesn't take any responsibility for anything at all! She has tried one job but didn't like it and hasn't bothered getting another one since 🤦🏼‍♀️. We're getting tired of her not helping out or making any effort to take an interest in a part time job at all.

It was HER idea to go to this particular holiday destination and it's already costing more because of the airport we are going from. Originally when we discovered our error she was fine about getting the results 4 days later. It is only now she's getting cross about it.

I'm going to have a talk to her today and see how we can try to sort it out. I feel I'm going to have to pay up myself and then risk my husband being more annoyed with me than my daughter would be if I don't change it 🤦🏼‍♀️😞

At the moment I just feel like cancelling the whole bloody holiday!!!!!

This post has just strengthened my original thoughts. Do no change the holiday.

Could you just get her a flight to Malaga the following day to join you, a lot of budget airlines will do a one way flight for less than £50.

I wish she would!!! I've tried and tried but she doesn't make any effort to get a job and we have also had arguments around this 😕

I guess she might change her mind about going to uni, in which case it could be an issue. Do you think in her own mind she’s considering it and that’s why she’s kicking up a fuss?

You are going to have to change it but she really needs work experience as well!! So perhaps this is a good opportunity to take up her offer of contributing towards the costs and making her find work.

Maybe 🤔. Her school are encouraging everyone to apply for uni even if they want a gap year. TBH she definitely isn't mature enough for uni and a gap year is her preferred choice.

It's a 2 week holiday and the results day is only 4 days before we get home. We definitely can't afford to pay for her to get home early plus then try to organise her getting home from an airport 180 miles away from home as well 🤦🏻‍♀️

I would absolutely agree with this. There is so much pandering to teenage girls right now as if their lives are the most important thing on this earth and they should get everything they want.

She will get her results, doesn't matter how she gets them. As for my results day like another poster, it wasn't a joyous day. But there was no cameraderie of which you speak. Do you really think that every single member of the class goes down at exactly the same time and they all celebrate together?

We went down a different times of day, depending on family's plans. People pretty much collected the results and left. They went home to either celebrate with family.Or speak to teachers and parents to figure out what they had to do if they hadn't done as well as they expected, and hadn't got their desired university places.

It was actually a very intense and awkward day. Some of my friends had done nowhere near, as well as they thought they had. Some didn't really want to talk to me because I'd got my grades and my place that I wanted and they hadn't.

If she wants the entire holiday changed and extra money paid, she can be asked to contribute over the year. She can start learning to be an adult.

@Onecrazymama ,

Why are you totally pandering to her?

She will be 18. Just stick to the original dates.

She can come, not come, or see you out there. It is no hassle for an 18 year old to book one cheap seat to Malaga if necessary on one of many airlines.

She wants to have the privileges of an adult but the responsibilities of a child, always a bad combination.

Give her the autonomy of choices, but not free choices. That’s how the real world works and an important life lesson.

And it is a whole year in the future! You may end up changing your flight, and then she ends up with a bf and doesn’t want the family holiday at all.

Just tell her no. She can stump up the money of she wants to get home early.

@Onecrazymama it was a pretty basic mistake to make and all things being equal I’d say change the date and suck up the cost. But with the extra info you’ve given about your DD I’d simply cancel if results day is more important to her. She sounds a bit feckless tbh and I very much doubt there’d be any appreciation for you changing the date. If she’s not interested in uni next year she can get a job and earn the money to go to her dream destination. Will probably do her good to understand that earning money to pay for stuff is often not enjoyable!

Why not just tell her she can stay home and sort herself out for the whole holiday.
She needs to learn to be independent anyway and this would be a good lesson.
Stop spoiling her and go and enjoy your holiday.

My father booked to be away for both my sister’s and my A level results days. My sister flew home alone to get her results, I chose not to go on that holiday and stayed home by myself. It’s an important day and she should have the option to mark it with friends.

Sometimes those first few months of university push very quick changes and people get more mature. They need to have no other choice and the pressure of living with their peers. Also many people at the end of Y12 do say they want to do a gap year and then go to university the year after - the school has good advice. Apply anyways and take the application seriously, pick universities you like and write a good personal statement (often going to open days etc is actually the switch and many people decide they do want to go).

So I wouldn't be baking on that as why it's okay to avoid results day, though it is a complicated situation, I'd try and move it, because a lot can and likely will change.

This. It’s a really big deal for them and I would have hated for mine to have missed this

Why would whether she is going to go to Uni mean she kicks up a fuss about picking up her A Level results on the day they are released?

It makes no difference whatsoever. 3 of mine have gone/are in Uni so I know they can apply after THAT day

I was born in August and you get ready for University pretty damn quick - the vast majority manage to swim and I am fairly certain yours will too

the issue if she does apply and she can’t get her results online (which is a huge part of this) those 4 days a lot happens in.

talk to her and talk to the school if there is a way for her to get her results on the day because not getting them cuts off all avenues now.

and encourage her to go - stop thinking of her as anything other than a normal 17 year old who are stroppy and difficult and immature she will be able to cope and going straight in is far easier than a gap year if she hasn’t planned it!

I was the last year of fees being paid so pretty much nobody took a gap year and we coped

I wouldn't have thought that this is the point - it'll be the communion of friends at school and the shared experience of the emotions that come out in the wash that she's presumably wanting to be home for.

She’s chasing a myth, then, and will probably be disappointed, if that’s what she wants to rearrange the holiday for. In all my experience of being a teenager, having teenage friends and bringing up 3 teens with active social lives, results day was never a ‘partaaay!’ day. Mostly, any celebrations were going out for dinner with family that evening and contemplating next steps for going to uni, or whatever. Nor do I have any recollection of a great ‘communion of friends’ on the day. Dc went in to school at different times, or latterly picked up their results v early online and it took a while to tentatively find out how others had done. It was a huge relief for some, disappointment for others, who just wanted to lick their wounds and regroup rather than hang around communing. Results aren’t always to be celebrated and it would have felt really crass to do that, if some friends hadn’t got their grades.

This is how I remember it.

We all went at different times. Then spent the day celebrating with family or commiserating sorting clearing out.