Accidentally booked holiday for A level results day 2026. DD mad at me!

[Onecrazymama]

My DD is sitting her A levels next year in 2026 and then planning a gap year. She isn't even sure about going to University at all and despite being predicted all A's for her her subjects she isn't planning to apply to a university for 2026. She may apply for a 2027 place though once she realises what hard work getting a real job is 🤦🏻‍♀️.

So I went ahead and booked a package holiday for August 2026 to Spain for her, my husband and other child. Then about a week after I'd booked I realised it would mean we are away for her A level results day 🤦🏻‍♀️. We'll be back 5 days later, she can get a friend to collect them for her and obviously as she's not planning to go to uni I thought she'd be absolutely fine about this.

However, she has caused an huge fuss and wants me to change it! I've looked into moving it until after results day but it is going to cost £320 extra. We really can't afford that and the holiday itself is already alot more than we would usually spend and it's going to push our finances as it is. We booked the holiday as treat for her to be away for her birthday, celebrate finishing school etc and now I feel terrible. I don't know what to do for the best! Right now I feel like cancelling it completely 😞. She's being horrible to me, telling me she won't come on holiday and saying I'm being selfish. My husband says he doesn't want to discuss it! As far as he's concerned we aren't changing the date as it isn't actually important or necessary for her to collect her results in person as she isn't going to uni. Does anyone have any advice or just something to make me feel better 😞

Sorry OP but I'd cancel. Ring fence the money and book something nearer the time, just in case DD decides not to join you at all. She might decide she wants to work for the summer or take a gap year which starts the minute exams are finished. Teens are unpredictable beasts!

You are being ridiculous to act like she's being a brat. it's the culmination of all her hard work and an important day with friends. This is not her fault.

She wants to be away for her 18th! She specifically asked for this as she doesn't want to celebrate with friends. I don't feel guilty about this as it was her choice! The results day was my mistake.

Change it.

No her school only offer in person collection then they post them out the next day.

Sorry but I think you’ll have to change it. Results day is a really big day for an 18 year old, getting the results with all your friends, the emotions of it really being the end of your school days, your family making a big fuss of you for the day, and basically the day being just about you, which she’s not going to get on a family holiday. I don’t see you have any choice but to change it.

Of course you change it.

One of Mine got their results online and the other went in person to collect them as the systems had crashed.

They then met up with their friends later in the day to celebrate/commiserate and drink themselves stupid.

They say one of the best day of their lives. BTW my youngest wasn’t going to even do a levels never mind go to uni but kids change their minds.

I’d pay the money and move holiday, it would be horrible to miss that day. And not that results are everything but she’s obviously worked really hard.

I’d change it. DS dropped a couple of grades and went to school for advice re challenging them (told don’t) and to get some support. He’s got into a great uni via clearing, but being with friends and teachers was importsnt. He was predicted A*AA for the record. And what your DD wants is important. We spent ages this year working out what dates would suit the kids. We could go any time, but A level results day was an absolute red line.

Well that clinches it. Change the holiday.

100% change, by hook or by crook find the money. This is a really important moment for them and you run the risk of making it memorable for the wrong reasons.

Surely this far out you could cancel and rebook without losing much?
I'd absolutely change it for results day. It might not matter to you, with the long view that she doesn't immediately need them for uni, but it'll be of huge importance to her anyway.

I don’t understand the relevance of her not going to uni next year? She’s completed a big chunk of her life and all her friends are going in person to get their results and celebrate.
if you were getting the results of your degree from uni but you weren’t going on to do a masters, I imagine you’d still want your degree results and to go to graduation.

i think if she can just get them online and lots of her friends might do the same I’d try talk her round but you’re saying she has to go in person then obviously yeah it’s a big day. Saying we won’t talk about it because you’re not going to uni actually makes it sound like you’re not proud of all the hard work she’s put in so far to get all those predicted As.

You have to change it. It's really unfair to expect your daughter to miss this really important day. There's no way I would have wanted a friend to collect on my behalf and see my results first. It's not your daughter being difficult, it's you not owning your mistake.

I really want to change it but my husband is adamant we stick to the original dates 😞. I think I'm going to have to find the money myself as he's not happy about changing it at all. We've just had a big row about it 🤦🏼‍♀️. I completely agree it's not her fault but feel stuck between wanting to make her happy any my husband not agreeing with me 😞

I wouldn’t change the plans. Why wouldn’t you have booked the holiday based on the facts as they were when you booked it? Your DD is being a bit like I could be when I was younger and getting caught up in thinking something is a big deal when it really isn’t. To a degree perhaps it’s a bit like catastrophising.

Given your DD has said she’s planning on having a gap year and isn’t applying for a uni place for 2026, might apply for 2027 (but doesn’t sound completely decided either), it isn’t going to make the slightest difference if she gets her results a few days later. With time I think she’ll come to realise this and wouldn’t be surprised is she changes her mind about the holiday.

I bet you’ll have older friends/family who can share their perspective on this with your DD. Perhaps suggest DD speaks to them about it? I expect most would be on the side of it really isn’t the be all and end all to go and pick the results up in person on the day. Why miss a holiday for that? I think hearing this from other people will help. At 17/18 you’re still developing your ability to see things in perspective but hearing older (not necessarily wiser) people’s takes on things can help a lot. It did for me.

I think I’d leave it with DD like this.

• Tell her it’s too much money to change the dates.
• You had good intentions when booking it - i.e. a treat for her birthday and for finishing school.
• It is a year away. She doesn’t have to make her mind up immediately. Why doesn’t she see how she feels about it next year? If she still would prefer to be at home and get her results in person, fine. The rest of you will still go away. You might find the realisation of missing out on the holiday will take more precedence as time goes on and she’ll change her mind.

Well that’s better then! Move the holiday.

Think of it this way, if you don’t, it’ll be an expensive rubbish trip. She’ll either go and be miserable /angry at you when all the photos come in of her friends partying, or she won’t go, and you’ll be away without her missing her day.

if you move it to the week after, you get to take her away as a celebration, everyone happy.

Do you not remember picking your results up, the buzz and seeing what everyone was going on to next. I’m with your daughter and I would cancel for a refund or move it personally. If she works hard, she deserves these milestone moments x

Let me guess - he’s her stepdad? Pity neither of you particularly thought about her, and rather than piss your dh off you’ll piss her off instead.

My mother did this to me in the mid 90’s with my GSCE results. Refused to move the date, made me go with her and I had to phone the school from a call box in Greece to get my results.

I was miserable the whole time we were away.

I feel I missed a rite of passage. I had worked so hard and got excellent results. I should have been allowed to celebrate with my friends and thank my teachers as per my own wishes.

Please listen to your daughter on this one. I’m still a bit sad I missed that day decades later.

Not every school does that. And if there's any issue with them, even if they're not intending to go to uni, they need to be able to deal with it quickly.

I agree

As shes 18 csnt she fly back home earlier than you all to recieve? My sister either for gcse or a level travellend back earlier than rest of fsmily from France to get results in person with friends. I think my uncle checked in on her at times but she was fine for a few days
Perhaps that may work.

This ^

I can’t believe you’ve already booked a holiday for august 2026. Your daughter might not even want to go with you by then.