Accidentally booked holiday for A level results day 2026. DD mad at me!

[Onecrazymama]

My DD is sitting her A levels next year in 2026 and then planning a gap year. She isn't even sure about going to University at all and despite being predicted all A's for her her subjects she isn't planning to apply to a university for 2026. She may apply for a 2027 place though once she realises what hard work getting a real job is 🤦🏻‍♀️.

So I went ahead and booked a package holiday for August 2026 to Spain for her, my husband and other child. Then about a week after I'd booked I realised it would mean we are away for her A level results day 🤦🏻‍♀️. We'll be back 5 days later, she can get a friend to collect them for her and obviously as she's not planning to go to uni I thought she'd be absolutely fine about this.

However, she has caused an huge fuss and wants me to change it! I've looked into moving it until after results day but it is going to cost £320 extra. We really can't afford that and the holiday itself is already alot more than we would usually spend and it's going to push our finances as it is. We booked the holiday as treat for her to be away for her birthday, celebrate finishing school etc and now I feel terrible. I don't know what to do for the best! Right now I feel like cancelling it completely 😞. She's being horrible to me, telling me she won't come on holiday and saying I'm being selfish. My husband says he doesn't want to discuss it! As far as he's concerned we aren't changing the date as it isn't actually important or necessary for her to collect her results in person as she isn't going to uni. Does anyone have any advice or just something to make me feel better 😞

Yep. Results came from our school last week by 08:05. UCAS is online from 08:00, so they just log onto UCAS and find out instantly if they have their first choice, need to use their insurance or want to go thru clearing. Our school didn’t do anything in person, never have done.

I'm 50. And I can still clearly remember going into school with my friends to collect results and then going out with them all afterwards. Just drinking in a field but it was great.

Some people might not be fussed but it's super important for others.

I'm on your daughter's side. Our holiday dates are limited next year because we have one doing GCSE and one a level so it knocks two weeks out

She’ll want to go into college maybe and see her friends. Bit of a mess.

OP, sorry but I think yr daughter is right here. I think you need to move the holiday or she (and you?) fly out a day later?

She’s 18, no need for her to come on a family holiday. - I certainly wasn’t at that age - she can stay at home. If you trust her.

She’s not applied to university though.

OP’s updated post from 15:48 - it’s on page 10:

Onecrazymama · Today 15:48

UPDATE!
Thank you to everyone for the replies, some more helpful and supportive than others 😜. I've spent all night/day stressing over it and after speaking with my DD we've decided to move the holiday and she is going to pay something towards the cost of it. I accepted responsibility for not checking the date but she has also been really quite horrible and said lots of very unkind things recently, not just about the holiday. I couldn't really live with myself if we were in the sunshine on results day as I know she'd be in a right mood. I've just told my husband I've paid and that I don't want to talk about it any more!! Now fingers crossed she starts being a bit more kind and less bratty or I won't let her go in the holiday she wanted in the first place

That sounds like a good outcome. If the holiday is after the results day it at least won’t be hanging over you, in the way it would be if you holidayed before.

This

I agree with this

This. Or book a flight for her to come back early and get them in person, with her friends. And if it makes you feel any better,a friend of mine accidentally did the same thing last year....and she's a teacher at her daughter's school!! Daughter flew back from the holiday early to get them.
..

Sorry but this is one of the most important days in a teen’s life! What on earth possessed you to book a holiday on results day, without discussion?!

Of course she’s upset - it’s not about whether she’s going to Uni - it’s about the results! Usually I can play Devil’s advocate on AIBU, but honestly, you’re in the wrong and should suck it up and pay the £350 to change the dates.

I’d imagine she feels like you don’t care - that’s how it comes across. How upsetting for her. (And yes I’d be pushing her to go to Uni with those grades - I hope she’s at least applied on UCAS!) Failing to understand how you don’t seem invested in your child.

It does kind of give the message that you’re not a family particularly invested in education sorry.

Yabvvu

Change it, as a PP said it’s literally £1 a day till then! It’s a big deal! She’s going to have worked hard and getting those results with friends and celebrating with them is a big deal! Might not seem it to you and her dad but this is a milestone in a kids life and it’s an important one, uni or not!!
I’d of considered my child in these plans before booking! In fact I did, my son was 18 this year and got his results last year and went to college this year and is going on to uni this year (we are Scottish) and I was making plans to go away with my daughter and he didn’t want to come because he’s old enough to not be there but he did ask me not to be away for the day he got the result for the specific unit that would determine if he got his uni placement or not.
The kids feelings matter too - it’s not a case of do as your told anymore

Can she not stay back/come back early and the rest of you go as planned? She'll be 18 so can surely fly alone - or i guess one adult could join her for moral support?

She can see them online. Do not change the holiday because she’s having a tantrum.

So YOU messed up the dates, booking it over a date that is a HUGE DEAL to her (results day is a whole event, have you not seen the clubbing wristbands that come out for results night every year? Do you think they just put it on the news for a laugh), YOU didn’t check she was available on the dates you wanted for a holiday, so now SHE has to pay for YOUR mistake?

And all because you’re too afraid of your husbands reaction to do right by your daughter. You are choosing him over her and making her pay so you don’t have to have him be angry at you. What an awful husband you must have and your poor poor daughter having to take responsibility for fixing your mistakes in order for you not to upset your husband.

You both sound dreadful, OP. This is so sad and unfair.

It's a big day at the sixth form I work at. Lots of crying, hugging, drama, photos, balloons, press, we lay on breakfast etc. She'll probably have a big dose of FOMO. Being involved is everything at that age. The girls especially like to have that envelope moment! She might have had an about-face by then regarding uni, especially as her peers all start getting offers etc, and she may need to go through clearing on results day.

I doubt it’s about the results. The day is a once in a lifetime event I doubt she wants to miss.

You’re out of touch if you don’t realise how much of an event the day is now.

Rightly or wrongly it’s a huge event to these teens.

You’ve messed up! In my opinion you will have to suck this one up and pay. If it’s important to her it’s important to her. I rember my A level results day! It was so much fun being at college with all my friends then we went out in the evening. We booked our summer holidays around my daughter GCSEs and A-level results day as I knew how much they would want to be with their friends and celebrate!

Edit to add I’ve just seen your update @Onecrazymama ! Making her pay half is not really on. You messed up. You should have realised this is a big day at her age (and I still remember the day so clearly - not so much the night haha!)! You should want this for her.
This date should have been set in stone!

dont make her pay. She might have been bratty and grumpy but this was your (and your DH too) mistake!

Am glad to see other people realise it’s about the day, not just the results.

I think people must be out of touch if they’re not realising it’s a whole event.

Nice one OP, good on you.

No, she’s not unreasonable, you’re out of touch not realising how big of a deal the day is.

Theyre 18, they haven’t had many big special days in their lives. A holiday can happen anytime. Results day is once in a lifetime.

I agree. It’s a huge thing - well it was for mine!