I have teenage girls aged 16 and 19. My 19 year old is at university so still comes on holiday with us, and besides, her younger sister wouldn’t be happy really to come away without her.
I spend a long time every year coming up with holiday ideas that won’t break the bank. We are supporting DD1 through university, which has included buying and insuring a car for her as well as paying all of her living costs. She costs us about £15k per year. We will embark on doing the same for DD2 in 2027, so we are constantly saving.
Despite this we’ve had great holidays - last year a Mediterranean cruise and this year two weeks in Greece. We also manage some city breaks in between, mainly to do something specifically cultural, for example we went to Germany when DD2 was studying German and we’ve been to Rome and Florence to look at art/archaeology for my elder daughter.
I have booked everything, always.
i personally love France because I speak French however we never go there because the rest of the family prefer other destinations, so I go for a long weekend to France every autumn with a good friend instead.
the reason I’m posting is because I’m constantly criticised. So for example I usually start looking for holiday inspiration around September time, and I try looking for perhaps an air bnb within budget, with air con and a decent pool. I read reviews to make sure the wifi works, I check that the property looks comfortable and there are things to do locally. It takes me ages to find something - usually because the price point isn’t right.
the criticism starts from the family because they see me ‘on my phone all the time’ and they accuse me of ‘looking at mumsnet and Facebook.’ In fact I’m often researching a holiday property for the following year. This is especially apparent if for example they are watching a film and they think I should be watching the same film but im
not interested so I start ‘scrolling my phone’ looking at air bnb.
they also accuse me of ‘looking at X or Y because you’re obsessed with that’ ( things related to my own interests) and yet they have their own interests that they are obsessed with, and this appears to be fine.
and then the arguments start. So this year I was planning Italy but my husband said he didn’t want to go there because the food is samey. I replied that our very fussy younger daughter would at least eat pasta and pizza, he scoffed. He offered no alternative suggestion because he has never, ever researched holidays. So we came to Greece and now he says it’s fine but maybe Italy would have been better. The property we are staying in is not within walking distance of the town, so if we go out at night then he has to drive, and he’s a bit sulky about that because he likes a drink. I don’t drive abroad, I don’t feel confident driving on the right.
last night we went for dinner as a family and left under a cloud after a disagreement on next years holiday. Both kids really want to
go to the Alps - which I’m really keen on - but I know they will also want to laze by a pool as well, and the alps doesn’t really fit with that.
So - I suggested a week in the alps followed by a week in an air bnb with a pool - in an adjacent country which will likely have hot weather. My suggestion was to fly in and out of Geneva as a base and spend the second week somewhere like Annecy. This led to a big stink about how ‘you always want to go to France and you’re just trying to get your own way.’
we have not been to France as a family since 2015 when we took the kids to Disneyland paris, which would not have been my choice.
I honestly felt so fed up last night. I don’t mind whether the second week is Italy or France or indeed Germany, but I think Annecy would be wonderful as it’s so pretty. My 16 year old announced she wanted to go to Germany because ‘why should we go to France just because you speak French? I speak German so let’s go there.’
I should add that 3/4 of the family speak French, it’s just that I’m most proficient. Nobody but DD2 speaks German.
DD2 also said she could ‘easily find an air bnb’ in Germany. Frankly, I’ll be astonished if she finds this ‘easy’ once I give her the parameters, so WIBU of this very fed up mum to give her a list of said parameters next month and tell her to fill her boots? I think it will stress her out, but perhaps she will learn a lesson and stop being so bloody ungrateful?
this is not the first time I’ve felt
fed up that my hard work is criticised - I think every year I tend to consider not booking anything for the following year - however I then panic that we won’t have a holiday. Last year’s cruise was a result of that!
sorry for the long post and thanks for reading. I feel like a travel agent who cannot seem to get anything right - and who books holidays for others which aren’t really the holiday she would choose for herself. How long until we can send them off together on some sort of package holiday? Does DD2 need to be 18?