Very very tall daughter

[BadAtTecnology35]

My DD12 (13 next month) is now over 6'5 and almost 6'6. How do I help her with this?
I am 6'2 and DH is 6'4 but she's just that bit taller. DS who's 11 is only 5'4 for comparison.

Everyone always mentions it everywhere she goes and that's before they realise her age cause she looks older. Teachers, friends, everyone.

She's quite slim build and has size 14 feet (i know). She used to not mind her height but now she's getting to be the tallest boy or girl in her whole school, I'm hearing more comments about how she hates it.

Will she grow much more? How can I help her build confidence up?

Want to clarify, we've been doctors and no hormone issue/ disease

Poor why? Because she doesn’t look like you? People are allowed to be tall. There’s nothing poor about it, there’s nothing medical wrong about it and it doesn’t require a medical intervention if she’s not ill. She’s her own self and is allowed to be tall without that kind of prejudice. Your comments are exactly the reason why this mum is posting.

No. Not because she doesn't look like me... but because she DOES look like me (but even taller). As a fraction off 6 foot myself, I know first hand how tough it can be to be an 'outlier' in any way in society. I LOVE being tall now, and have always enjoyed the sports advantages my height offered me, but teen years for a very tall girl can (not always, but often) be hard and it's naive (or foolish) to pretend otherwise. Don't mix up empathy with 'prejudice'.

Yeh, the comments about being trans... they were horrible. I had those as well (not only tall, but broad shouldered). Never a woman saying that, only men 🙄 I couldn't care less now (and actually nobody's made comments like that to me for years) but at 14 years old it packs a punch!

Get her to watch Tall girl on Netflix with Sabrina carpenter in it!

I know you say she has OP but has your dd definitely been checked for all possible health conditions? By a paediatrician? Has she been checked for Marfans? Has a paediatrician assessed her bone age and estimated how tall she's going to grow and offered any treatment options.

We're Talking about a girl who's already taller than her mum or dad, taller than >99% (maybe even 99.9%) of women and potentially has a few more years of growing

I'm not Saying this to make you feel bad. It may just be that this is the way she is but I'm a GP and if you came to see me I'd definitely want to make sure I was being thorough.

Sign her up as a supermodel!

My daughter's boyfriend is 6 foot 7. He can change our spotlights without a ladder, which is very useful.

Unfortunately she's 5 foot 5 . . '

Sorry but I can’t see any teenager being placated by these supposed benefits.

Bit out of the box, but have you ever taken her on holiday to Amsterdam? Maybe it would be nice for her to visit somewhere that she could actually see other girls of a similar height just going about their lives to feel less like she’s the only one?

I’ve not read the whole thread but see a few PPs have recommended sports, netball as one. Mary Cholhok is a 6’7 netball player who I wouldn’t say is particularly athletic, but she gets passed the ball and just pops it into the net every time! Honestly, any netball club, even franchise, would snap her up on height alone.

With netball, as I’m sure it is with basketball etc, it’s not just playing the sport, but that they are hanging around with tall girls who all celebrate their height and see the benefit and beauty of it.

I really feel for her, but if she could find her ‘tribe’, maybe it could become a positive thing.

Her peers will soon catch up. DS is at university and 6'3. He says he doesn't even count as tall and lots of the females are over 6'.

Tell her to embrace her wonderful height. My son is 6'4 and he used to hunch his shoulders to try snd make himself smaller to "fit in". Now he loves being tall and his 5"11 brother Is so jealous. 😂
There is absolutely zilch you or dd can do to alter this.
I'd rather be tall than 4'6, sorry for any offence wee people.

Not much help now, but people are getting taller all the time. I'm 5'4 and often struck by how many teenage girls tower over me. As your DD ages, it's likely there will be more 6' + women. I really envy tall women, their height seems to project confidence and give presence when they enter a room, even if when you get to know them, they are not particularly confident.

Please try to move mountains to find her women's shoes. I was always being sent to the men's dept for my size 8-9s as a 1970s child and I utterly loathed it. It affected how I saw myself, whether I was a proper girl or not.

Sorry to post again - my Dad was 6’7 and I seem to remember this group…Tallclub

And sorry to go on about netball, but this is a really good read.

It must be tough for her, especially in school. There’s a tall lady in my hobby group, I think she is 6ft 2 or 6ft 3. She seems taller still as most of us are quite short. I am 5ft 1 so feel very small next to her, and she feels very tall next to me. But there’s nothing either of us can do about our height. She was saying recently she feels its held her back from relationships. She is 37, unmarried, no DC, and has said even with dating it can be tough as most men don’t want to go out with someone taller than them. Definitely benefits for being tall, but appreciate she must find it hard. As you’re much taller than the average lady too, can you start to point out some benefits of being tall, discreetly?!

Also you mention she has large feet. Does she have large hands as well? Prominent jaw or forehead? Has acromegally been considered?

Sorry I don't mean to be negative it's just that my background makes me more cautious than most. As well as being a doctor I have a genetic condition which causes short stature and delayed puberty. I spent my entire childhood being teased for being small by half the world and patronisingly reassured by the other half ('good things come in small packages' blahblahblah) As such I wasn't diagnosed until almost 16. This could have been very dangerous for my health and effectively took away some of the best years of my life. When I was at the age that I should have been exploring independence and getting boyfriends I still looked about 10 and to this day I don't think my confidence has ever fully recovered.

How many 6 ft 6 women do you know? I know people say these things to try and reassure but it actually ends up feeling so so patronising and delays people seeking help as per my pp

It’s too tall for modelling. They prefer women around 5’10 Basketball would be a great option if she’s interested

In this case with parents the height they are it is likely just genetics but it is advised when someone is extraordinarily tall out of sync with their family to get checked as there are several conditions that cause excessive growth that need to be resolved.

Birkenstocks women's sandals go up to 14.5. May not be fashionable but definitely female
https://www.birkenstock.com/gb/arizona-birko-flor/arizona-marbletwirl-birkoflor-0-eva-w_1631.html?selectedSize=14%253B49#filters%5BsizeName_GB%5D=%2214%3B49%22&region=UK

These are broad sandals so she may fit a 13. Long trousers too!
https://www.longtallsally.com/lts-gold-leather-cut-out-mule-sandals-in-standard-fit-p

Fwiw, back in the '80s I was in Sixth Form with a girl who was 6'4". Due to difficulties finding clothes that fit, she learnt dressmaking and was always wearing the most beautiful but LOUD clothes. I vividly remember her white jeans that had poppies growing all the way up them. Anyway, my point is that she always said that she preferred to draw people's attention for her clothes rather than her height, and she did.I always thought it was a good approach.

Tbf I think people are not intending to say she must try xyz sport and I don’t think these suggestions are inane.

If she is 6ft+ she has a massive advantage over anyone who is not if if she is interested in high jumping. All successful HJ-ers are tall (Katarina Johnson Thompson for example, for whom HJ is her best event in the hept, must be 6ft). That doesn't mean you have to be a HJer obvs. Or a netballer. These are just ways that she might excel (or not!) and which might be worth exploring.

I do agree tho thinking about it @BadAtTecnology35 that I would go back to the doctor and ask again. Size 14 feet is very very big feet – that’s unusually big feet for a man never mind a woman, never mind a 12yo girl. And 6ft6 is a very very very tall girl. I really would want to rule out any medical concerns tbh. Yes @Theworldisinyourhands I also wondered if she had big hands too.

In the UK? I doubt it, I’m 5’10” and I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t the tallest woman in the room, I’m usually head and shoulders above most women!

I agree that trying a sport which naturally attracts tall people is actually very good for your mental health as a tall person. Rowing is also a very social sport and a great way to make new friends (or romance even).. Tall people have an advantage as long levers (arms and legs) are much more effective for rowing. It’s wonderful to be surrounded by other tall people as suddenly you feel very ‘normal’.

I’m only 5’9 so short by rowing standards but growing up in the 70-80s was hard work with all the comments about “ooh, isn’t she tall?”. I felt like some huge masculine lump. Let’s not even get into the male rejections because “you’re too tall” (no mate, you’re a short arse!). I didn’t discover rowing until later but what a joy to eventually be surrounded by tall(er) people. One of my favourite moments has always been one of the men’s crews bickering about one crew member being short. He replied “but I’m 6’2” and there was just lots of laughter followed by “exactly!”.

I'm in my 50's and one of my closest friends in 6ft. One of my aunts is too. Generations are getting taller. My point was my son knows plenty of females who are over 6ft. OP's DD may be the tallest of her peer group but by the time she is mid teens it's likely to be only a few inches over many of her friends. The family is tall (OP is 6'2) so you would expect a tall DD. It's not patronisng it's basic genetics.

100% me too

I am not quite that tall but stopped growing before I was 13. My tall daughters were similar. So it's likely she won't grow much more. (I wasn't great at netball because I didn't need to jump when I was the tallest girl in my class and some of the shorter girls tried harder!)