Child has been missing since 9pm - frantic !

[MrsLighthouse]

I don’t even know if anyone is awake to read this but my neurodivergent 13 yr old son left the house quietly at 9pm and hasn’t come home . I caught him out about something pretty awful he had done, and he denied it and left rather than deal with it / talk about it , he left.

We live in central London and he’s gone without keys , phone or money . After 2 hours driving around looking for him, l reported to the police and they have him now listed as a vulnerable missing person but l’m going out of my mind .

Has any other parent experienced this ? My head is going to a thousand awful scenarios …it’s 4 am now and so cold .

Wiping away a few tears here OP... I'm so happy for you.

Im so relieved to read your update! I saw it this morning and have regularly checked in hoping he’d been found safe and sound. My Dd ran away regularly but usually went to her dad’s. Also ASD/adhd and I became very fluent in reporting her gone again. I hope everything works out well for you and your Ds and send an unmumsnetty hug x

Give your DS a hug from all the Mumsnetters! 🥰

No need to mention he’s neurodivergent 🙄

What adhd meds is he on does it need increasing or does he need a top up. If not he may find marijuana helps and then you have a drug issue to contend with. I have adhd as do both of my kids we all take concerta plus instants

Fantastic update, I am so pleased, he’s home, I can’t imagine what you have been through OP.

So happy to hear this. Please go easy on yourself, what an ordeal.

So glad he’s home. Not to the same scale as yours but my autistic and learning disabled son was unhappy with me one morning because I wouldn’t let him play on his console (must have been about 12), so while I was in the shower at 6am he let himself out of the house and disappeared. I found him 30 minutes later wandering the streets wrapped in his duvet and carrying his teddy, looking for a friends house because he thought they’d let him play on their console.

Oh thank God he’s home. 🙏🙏🙏

Why ? It’s relevant.

Why so salty? People were worried about him and are pleased for OP and her son, they’re just expressing relief.

Hope he comes home soon. Sending loving thoughts

He's home. Wonderful news

I saw your first posts this morning and felt sick with worry on your behalf, my daughter ‘ran away’ last week but I found her quite quickly (like 15 minutes). I’m so glad he’s home and safe and hope you can work through whatever is worrying him

Lovely news - take care both … a tough time but so great to have him home xxx

Such fantastic news you found him, OP! ❤️. Have been thinking about you all day, having seen your overnight post, and willing him to be found.

I agree with @myplace about a safe place to run to. When my (NT) DS was a similar age, he stormed out and ended up at his Grandma’s a couple of times. A train ride away in another town, so not without dangers, but at least my mother could let me know he was safe.

Why the eye roll?
I think it is an important bit of info as her DS is more vulnerable. Maybe you're not aware of that? Even so, no need to be rude.

so pleased he is home - have a good night sleep tonight xxxx

Thank goodness for that! Phew! Xxx sending love

Thank God he is home.

I think we need to be super careful about pushing teens emotionally. I've noticed how with mine even the slightest sense of disapprobation on my part can send her spiralling, sometimes in a total over reaction. Must be the hormones. Very very turbulent and challenging time, and worse if with ADHD (makes you more sensitive - I should know).

You don't need advice now, I know. You needed support and it's just great people were able to help. But your situation reinforces my own rule which is that I never remove the phone. Like you say, it's the tracker more than anything else. Pity we can't have them microchipped : ) bless them. So so glad he's back with you.

This happened to me about a month ago. 12 year old neurodivergent DD ran off on a Friday night around 830. Drove around for 2 hours looking for her and alerted the police too who issued her description. She came home at 1030. And am sure your son will do so too. Social services followed up and we also got advice as to what to do if it happens again. Sending you a hug.

I’m in California, @MrsLighthouseso there wasn’t much I could do to help but I’ve been praying as I’ve read your updates.
And hallelujah you found him!
I know you’re relieved.
What an awful night.
I hope nothing like this ever happens again, but do you think something like an Apple Watch would be helpful?
I realise now might not be the time for considering such things, so just file that away and soak in the joy of your son being safe and sound back at home where he belongs.
I’m very happy for you.
Sending love from across the Atlantic ❤️

Why isn't there?

It's completely relevant to why he would have ran. Why he would have ran without taking anything to help him out. And why he's more vulnerable on his own. And why his mother has more reason to worry.

So why shouldn't she have mentioned it? Please explain.

We've been through all this with our autistic DC, one thing you should know going forward is you can report them missing straight away. Don't wait two hours, if they're vulnerable, just report.

I'm so glad he's home.

So glad he was found! My ND brother used to do this. He would leave the house with no phone or money, sometimes with no coat or shoes. Once he walked for 35 miles! Luckily he was always found and didn’t come to any harm.