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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Child has been missing since 9pm - frantic !

449 replies

MrsLighthouse · 08/05/2025 04:03

I don’t even know if anyone is awake to read this but my neurodivergent 13 yr old son left the house quietly at 9pm and hasn’t come home . I caught him out about something pretty awful he had done, and he denied it and left rather than deal with it / talk about it , he left.

We live in central London and he’s gone without keys , phone or money . After 2 hours driving around looking for him, l reported to the police and they have him now listed as a vulnerable missing person but l’m going out of my mind .

Has any other parent experienced this ? My head is going to a thousand awful scenarios …it’s 4 am now and so cold .

OP posts:
2JFDIYOLO · 08/05/2025 11:48

Oh thank goodness he's safe! Huge relief for all. All the best to you and hope you'll all be able to get the professional help and suppprt to cope with whatever he's dealing with.

Original poster
MrsLighthouse · 08/05/2025 11:48

ThrowAway987654321 · 08/05/2025 11:28

Oh thank god op, I’ve been thinking about you all morning xx

Thank you ♥️

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsLighthouse · 08/05/2025 11:49

2JFDIYOLO · 08/05/2025 11:48

Oh thank goodness he's safe! Huge relief for all. All the best to you and hope you'll all be able to get the professional help and suppprt to cope with whatever he's dealing with.

There is a lot of “stuff” to deal with …trying to do it in bite sizes ! Just for today l’m SO grateful

OP posts:
Mumteedum · 08/05/2025 11:50

As a mum of an autistic teen, I feel quite emotional reading your update. I hope you can work it out with him. What a terrible night. Thank goodness he's safe. Sending very best wishes to you.

Original poster
MrsLighthouse · 08/05/2025 11:50

Definitelynotme2022 · 08/05/2025 11:19

I'm so relieved for you.

My 13yr old ds was missing for a few hours over the weekend, and walked in the door at 1am just as I was calling the police. It's very, very frightening.

Really frightening … l’ve aged 10 yrs !!

OP posts:
Onedayatatime9 · 08/05/2025 11:50

Well done mum,you are amazing. Mumsnet thoughts & 🙏have been answered. I'm sure you'll be putting strategies in place to help track him from now on. The Teenage years are difficult for all parents but especially for parents who have children with special needs. Onwards & upwards 💐

Original poster
MrsLighthouse · 08/05/2025 11:51

Mumteedum · 08/05/2025 11:50

As a mum of an autistic teen, I feel quite emotional reading your update. I hope you can work it out with him. What a terrible night. Thank goodness he's safe. Sending very best wishes to you.

I’ve had every emotion under the sun in the past 12 hrs or so ! Thank goodness we survive extremes !

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsLighthouse · 08/05/2025 11:52

Onedayatatime9 · 08/05/2025 11:50

Well done mum,you are amazing. Mumsnet thoughts & 🙏have been answered. I'm sure you'll be putting strategies in place to help track him from now on. The Teenage years are difficult for all parents but especially for parents who have children with special needs. Onwards & upwards 💐

Thanks for such a caring message xx

OP posts:
Sunnyside4 · 08/05/2025 11:52

So pleased for you OP. You've obviously got a lot to sort now, but the main thing is that he's home and safe.

ThousandYardStare · 08/05/2025 11:53

Oh the best news ❤

wishIwasonaBeach · 08/05/2025 11:55

Such amazing news OP! So happy for you all - xxx

Isometimeswonder · 08/05/2025 11:58

I didn't post because I had to rush to work... but came back to check on you/him.
So relieved for you @MrsLighthouse.
You are doing fab, you're a good mum

Endofyear · 08/05/2025 12:00

I'm so glad to hear that he's home! Big hugs for you both 💐

Seabreeze18 · 08/05/2025 12:00

Ah sooo pleased it’s a happy ending! Hug him tight!

Natsku · 08/05/2025 12:03

Glad to hear he's back

MrsMitford3 · 08/05/2025 12:03

Just back from the dog walk and came straight here to check-so so happy your DS is home.

Everything else can wait really-just breathe!
And lots of cuddles and TLC for both of you!!

Telemichus · 08/05/2025 12:03

I am so very pleased and relieved for you.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 08/05/2025 12:05

Oh wow. That’s fantastic news!! I am so incredibly glad and can’t even begin to imagine the relief you must be feeling.

be kind to yourself as well. Hugs.

1SillySossij · 08/05/2025 12:08

MrsLighthouse · 08/05/2025 11:05

He’s home ! I spotted him near where we live and scooped him up ! He is grubby and silent and his face is red and rashy but he says he slept on a bench in a park so that probably explains it . Thank god …and thank you to every single person who took the time to support me through last night and today . I was worried about posting ( as sometimes threads can go toxic very quickly ) but it’s been such a kind helpful experience . You are all amazing ! Obviously there’s a lot to unpick around the circumstances and the police have just left after a “person found” interview …they were very gentle - l need now to speak to social services and the school safeguarding team……but ….he’s home . Thank you again for all the love .. and here’s to all of us who love ( and struggle ) through family life . Just for today - it’s ended ok xxx ❤️

I cant believe the police didn't check a nearby park as one of the first places!

SmashingGemini · 08/05/2025 12:19

Just checked hoping for good news and there is! Thank goodness! Best wishes to your family.

Purplebunnie · 08/05/2025 12:22

So glad he's back. Hugs x

Pancakeflipper · 08/05/2025 12:31

Just checking to see if there's happy news... and there is ! Overjoyed for you.

I have a teen who is Autistic & ADHD and this flight response is a big worry of mine. We've not had an overnight one (yet). In the calm(er) times we've discussed the running away process - the impact on each of us, if it has to happen how to get in contact with someone. But who knows what's around the corner...

I'm so glad he's back. Hope there were big hugs.

AhwoofDuggee · 08/05/2025 12:38

Pleased to hear he has been found. x

AiryFairyLights · 08/05/2025 12:38

MrsLighthouse · 08/05/2025 11:49

There is a lot of “stuff” to deal with …trying to do it in bite sizes ! Just for today l’m SO grateful

Show quote history

Thank goodness!!! I’m so relieved for you all @MrsLighthouse ! Honestly hug him and take it all step by step x I’d say he’s frightened himself as much as you too - they react and then don’t know how to get out of it! Hugs for you too xx

BlackeyedSusan · 08/05/2025 12:41

Once you've recovered try to think how to reduce the chances of him doing it again. (You'll have to keep trying different things probably) ND teens can be really sensitive to having done something wrong, even accidentally. (My own aged 10 years incident was on holiday) You might have a few years of this. 13-16 was worst so far but easing off now.

Possibly let him keep his phone. (Friend tracks her kid this way when she does it) I've managed to talk mine back from somewhere at gone midnight as kiddo took their phone.

Try chatting to them in the car, pick your moment, talk about if someone did this, then this might happen. Choose your hills to die on. (Better getting kid to school late than very late overwhelmed and likely to walk off for example)

Feed him caffeine. (ADHD)