DD is becoming a nightmare made a right scene at doctors today

[BluntSheep]

DD 15.Its like my once sweet little girl has just changed overnight and had a complete personality transplant.

She has started to become a very impatient, opinionated and borderline rude individual.

Was at doctors today as she was experiencing some sensitive issues and she made a right scene in the place because apparently the Doc kept asking irrelevant questions and was implying that she "didn't believe her" to certain questions and was repeating them. She stormed out said your really not good at your job and demanded another doctor. I was so embarrassed I just froze everyone was staring at me.

I don't know what to do will she grow out of this is it just a phase or do I need to take action and get real tough with her.

There are certain things that clinicians really have to bring up with teens even if they might not seem relevant. This is to adequately treat and safeguard. If a teen was coming about something totally mundane eg an infected toe I might not probe. However, anything mood or sexual health related I would always ask about sexual activity and always ask about drugs and alcohol. In my experience if it's genuinely irrelevant I get a innocent giggle followed by 'no' and looking at me like I'm nuts. I can tell that this is so far from the child's experience that they're not likely to be doing any of these things. In my experience the ones who become defensive and abusive are the ones who do have something to share but are frustrated because they can't find the words to articulate it. It's a big ask for even a trained professional to get to the bottom of something so sensitive in 10 minutes OP.

I'd be talking to her in a none-confrontational way, explaining that this isn't an appropriate way to be assertive but giving her the chance to share with you what's really going on. I'd then support her in making an appointment with a different clinician but explaining that she has to stay polite and try and share as much as she can with them. Are there any behavioural problems at school? If so is she getting counselling/pastoral support. I'm just thinking that if there is something she needs to tell you then she needs to be given as much chance as she can to get it out in the open. It's a tightrope we walk as parents, teaching respectful and open communication whilst not pandering to antisocial behaviour as well. Nobody will always get it right, including GPs....

Why is telling her to 'fuck off' the only alternative? Why not just see a different doctor?

Don’t get mad, get what you need is an excellent mantra.

it sounds embarrassing but try to be patient with your daughter here and not push her. She needs to learn how to handle things like this without shouting etc but she’s 15.

I know a lot of GPs and yeah some of them can upset patients. Some aren’t actually good at talking to people or have some other attitude problem. You weren’t in there so you don’t know.

Women are allowed to learn to connect with their anger!

They’re all different. My dd is 16 and mortified by the thought of speaking to a gp alone. Your experience is very different to anyone I know with teens.

I’d be very firm with her that there’s a way to approach things and kicking off isn’t the go to option for any situation. GPS are about holistic care so want to understand the full picture so they can do their job. Can’t believe the people saying good in her, but I can imagine the kind of people they are (see other thread about how people treat nhs staff).

You can “connect with your anger” without being a total dick.

Interesting use of language connecting anger with masculinity.

Of course. But anger is best when it’s a productive emotion, not a destructive one.

There are ways of handling anger to achieve this.

Mixed messages then OP from you

Right! And we are talking about a teenager who removed herself from a situation and uttered a critique when she had witnesses but without raising her voice. All good behaviours, she just needs guidance in context not an Oh Dear Oh Dear handwringing.

So woman going around being angry any time something happens is healthy?

Learn to connect with anger really?

Theres a reason for every behaviour? What sort of blanket statement is that

So for all the people complaining here about poor service or poor attitude from health professionals - theres a reason for every behaviour?

Rapists, muggers, thieves - theres a reason for every behaviour?

Stop packaging things up in excuses, there is bad behaviour at times from some people and they need to stop it.

Although OP appears to have mislead everyone up the garden path. I wonder what reason there is for that behaviour?

@BluntSheep then what the way of handling it - clearly she is having period based issues that are causing her issues and she feels she isn’t being heard - so find a way of getting her heard rather than worry about how it has embarrassed you

Think of some real world example where it would be healthy! Instead of fantasy of Roaming Furies. I'm sure you can imagine some.

I wouldn't immediately be embarrassed or dismiss my child's response until I knew what had happened. You have already said this is out of character- so something has triggered her. I'd support my child to find out what happened.

I hope she is ok.

So there was no “shouting” no “verbal abuse” or “aggression”.

People have inferred a lot from the OP that clearly wasn’t the case.

The term 'dick' means an arsehole, idiot, whatever phrase you want to use. Its not exclusively about men. You might be a dick for all I know or I might be one. I can be sometimes.

Inferred?

No, OP made it clear in the title 'made a right scene'

And OP still hasnt confirmed what the sensitive issues were, people are also inferring that its period issues or gynae stuff, she might have piles for all we know.

But now OP is changing tack. Unclear why

Nah. I don't use the c or the d word. These are words for sexual organs. Which don't determine our temperament.

I'm unwatching this thread and hoping you don't tone police your children but teach them to use their energy wisely.

I wish my school friend had been a bit more assertive when seeing her GP at that age.She might not have been fobbed off with ‘it’s just your hormones’ when going to the surgery with crippling headaches. She might not have died from an undiagnosed brain tumour at 16.

I have had a Dr. accuse me of making up pain or exaggerating the pain level, he spoke to me in a way to try and force me to think i was confused. I stood my ground, put in a complaint about him. Went to another gp in the same practice and ended up needing surgery for said "imaginary" pain!!

He is now manager of the practice and I am with another practice as again a few years later he dismissed concerns i was having during pregnancy

A “right scene” is ambiguous and is dependent on perception.

Personally I am unclear how ending the consultation and leaving to request someone else is “making a scene”.

Telling someone they’re not very good at their job certainly not polite (even if justified) but hardly a scene.

Needs more information from the OP.

Omg, do you go through life constantly feeling like a victim? Not keen on the word twat to be honest but having a temper tantrum isn’t attractive in either sex. I personally use “don’t be a dick” quite a lot in life. Happy to put negative language to the male side.

I bet that poster is a laugh at parties 🙄😂