DD is becoming a nightmare made a right scene at doctors today

[BluntSheep]

DD 15.Its like my once sweet little girl has just changed overnight and had a complete personality transplant.

She has started to become a very impatient, opinionated and borderline rude individual.

Was at doctors today as she was experiencing some sensitive issues and she made a right scene in the place because apparently the Doc kept asking irrelevant questions and was implying that she "didn't believe her" to certain questions and was repeating them. She stormed out said your really not good at your job and demanded another doctor. I was so embarrassed I just froze everyone was staring at me.

I don't know what to do will she grow out of this is it just a phase or do I need to take action and get real tough with her.

Or, we could take all the emotion out of this, lay out what OP was saying and then make an assessment.

OPs normally calm child went to the doctor about something 'sensitive'.

Dr asked questions that DD thought were irrelevant. Interpreted this as Dr didn't believe her.

Trust between patient and Dr broke down.

DD left Dr room and told the Dr that she isn't very good at her job. Asked for another Dr.

Could be patients fault that they didn't understand the questioning rationale put to them. Or could be the Dr fault for not explaining why she needed answers to those questions.

You could say, the DD should have blindly answered because Drs know all and it's their job.

You could also say that the Dr should be able to read the situation and adjust their questioning and explain things in a different way.

I don't think the answer is 'be deferential to all NHS staff at all times'.

Tone police my children?

You bet I did!

So that they dont go through life being dicks basically.

Well the initial descriptions of DD making a right scene, being borderline rude, storming out, demanding, and everyone looking all lend weight to it being a little more than it now seems. It is a bit unclear why …

My DCs liked me to go to medical appointments with them when they were 18. Once they went to uni, they had to go on their own but didn't like it.

But she isn’t normally calm. Op has said she has recently become borderline rude.

It's just a phase! I don't know what happens to them between 14 and 16 !

She may well have absolutely had a point but having a tantrum is not an appropriate or helpful response to it.

It is very important that everyone is able to stand up for ourselves and hold people to account if we feel things are not right.

But she needs to learn how to handle her feelings and use her words in a calm and measured way which ensures she is actually listened to and her concerns taken seriously and addressed. I doubt her outburst achieved any of that.

I think a 15 year old is too young to be able to advocate for herself. We know that women are far more likely to be ignored and gas lit by Doctors.

You should be going with her to all future appointments.

She is normally calm. But something 'recently' is going on.

Tbh, if my child kicked off like that, out of character, I'd be concerned they were concealing some sort of trauma or worry. And that they are going to the GP, I'd be thinking SA, pregnancy etc or infected tattoo or something that they didn't want to share.

You cant force a 15 year old to have someone with them in the appoitment if they didnt want it. OP says her daughter wanted to go in alone. Even if OP ambushed the appointment, a professional wouldnt speak in front of the parent if the child said no (at that age)

Do you know the doctor? As some really are awful. Good for her for sticking up for herself, she's never going to get stuck in a bad relationship or job with that attitude.

No she won’t.

But she might turn a good job or good relationship into a bad one if she doesn’t channel better.

Really? Absolutely it's important to be assertive but you can still be polite. I don't think my incredibly lovely and kind son would want to be in a relationship with someone who confuses being rude and aggressive with sticking up for themselves.

Yes AND what about all the other patients that the same doctor is not listening to?

Sooner or later all the good GPs will only take private patients. Private patients who respect them, who turn up for appointments, who have a real interest in being helped and who can be told that the doctor will simply not see them if they are rude, aggressive, threaten any support staff and cause any sort of scene. Because who needs someone kicking off when you're at work?

Let the non-medically trained 15 year old diagnose herself over google. See what questions google might ask her before she finds out whether she's got Cancer, Rare Splodge's disease or thrush. I would suspect more than the GP was able to ask in a five minute appointment.

Well, quite.

Omg: what is rare Splodge’s disease … ? 😬

This reminds me of the time I was 15 and needed a scan with an injection dye due to a broken arm. I said I felt faint afterwards and the doctor shouted at me “stop making a fuss and get on with it”. I fainted after that. When I came to he shouted at me again to “hurry up and stop being dramatic”.

anyway, I’m 30’s now and my husband had a CT scan last week. They told him to hang on for 10 mins in case he feels wobbly.

Another time, I went to Minor Injuries when I was about 16 with extremely bad pains in my lower tummy. She screamed at me demanding me to admit I was sexually active (I wasn’t) and accused me of lying. Told my parents I was a nasty little lying girl.

A few years later I found out I had very bad endometriosis.

Young girls are often treated like this. I thought it would have changed by now but this thread proves it hasn’t.

Interesting that you should say this as I now only see private GPs and consultants (unless in an emergency) as I have found them to be kinder, less dismissive and not in a rush to herd you out of their office. They also listen and discuss rather than throwing pills at you.

It is also financially in their interested to investigate and treat you - unlike the NHS where it is financially advantageous if you quietly go away.

The last time I saw an NHS clinican for mental health issues I started to explain as there is a background - she interrupted and said “Yes but what is it that you want?”

Then offered me anti depressants- which if she had let me finish (or god forbid read my notes) she would have known I am already taking them and what dose.

Its another disorder on my list of 'things I might have'

I dont know if this is across the board in all surgeries but my GP surgery has 6 minutes per appointment

Although I am frustrated by that, I also know thats not the GPs fault.

What can you realistically acheive in that time if its something more than an ingrown toenail?

I don't think the NHS works well for GPs or patients. The number of people who just go to the GP because they want time off work, (boyfriend troubles, don't like the boss, don't want to work Christmas).. and just expect the GP to write a Fit Note. Both know the patient is not too sick to work - but the GP can hardly say "You must go to work as you are a lying lazy XXX". But why spend all those years training just to have your intelligence insulted like that? It's demoralising.

I'm lucky my GP is really good - and the NHS has treated me well. I know it's not the case for everyone.

And 6mins is not enough. Of course it's not...

Nope. Whether she had cause or not, kids nee dto be taught to handle situations inb a calm, polite manner.

Having hissy fits, embarrassing her parents, etc is no way to behave. Why you think this is acceptabel is beyond me. Teach your kids manners and to be firm but fair.

Precisely nothing which is why I have stopped using NHS GPs.

I feel for those that don’t have this option.

I feel the word ‘abuse’ is banded about recently

I do not think saying you’re not good at your job is abuse….crap yes…. Inappropriate yes….

abuse?? No