DD is becoming a nightmare made a right scene at doctors today

[BluntSheep]

DD 15.Its like my once sweet little girl has just changed overnight and had a complete personality transplant.

She has started to become a very impatient, opinionated and borderline rude individual.

Was at doctors today as she was experiencing some sensitive issues and she made a right scene in the place because apparently the Doc kept asking irrelevant questions and was implying that she "didn't believe her" to certain questions and was repeating them. She stormed out said your really not good at your job and demanded another doctor. I was so embarrassed I just froze everyone was staring at me.

I don't know what to do will she grow out of this is it just a phase or do I need to take action and get real tough with her.

"Lots of growing up to do by the sound of it."

Surprise, she's 15 and in a stressful situation.

Yes, I can understand teenagers can be difficult, but she needs to learn some manners.

But she wasnt assertive, she was aggressive, thats the problem here. If a teenage boy had done the same thing, verbally abused the doctor, stormed out, people would be berating the OP for raising a red flagged dangerous young man who is going to grow into a problem for society

But because she is a teen girl, everyones patting her on the back for girl power and being 'assertive'. This is not assertiveness.

Standing up for herself is good. Being offensive to people trying to do their job isn’t.

Actually OP, I doubt everyone was staring at you. If they were staring at anyone it was at your daughter. It probably wasn’t nearly as much of a scene as you thought.

Being a warrior doesn't mean shouting and abusing people who are doing their job. That's just being a twat.

What is admirable is being able to stand up for yourself without shouting and throwing insults.

She's not 2.

You don't deal with stressful situations by becoming aggressive.

I wish I'd stood up for myself more when I was her age tbf, I was disbelieved and called a hypochondriac for years as a teenager and it turns out I do actually have some really serious health issues.

Love to hear the Docs side.

I’m quite shocked at the pitchfork mentality on this thread. My own GP surgery operates in a way that is frustrating, but getting emotional and aggressive toward people doing their job is not the answer.

At this point I too wish they’d privatise the NHS - it’s no longer fit for purpose.

Idk obviously shouting isn’t great, but I’m currently dealing with the cancer consequences of being not believed and being asked irrelevant questions over and over about whether I was anxious and I just sat there and meekly took it for months so part of me is thinking good for her that she’s able to stand up for herself

Where was she aggressive ?

It was a female gp

Wow this is an eye opener as to why healthcare workers are treated so badly. Grown adults saying well done for a child shouting at a doctor doing their job? This is insane to me. You can't just shout and abuse people doing their job because you feel let down/ignored etc. You obviously can ask to see someone else instead but I'm honestly baffled people think this is a normal way to behave. In regards to the OP, what's done is done, maybe your DD has poor impulse control she is still a child & still learning. I would also be embarrassed but the moment has passed.

MN is baffling sometimes. Why do so many of you feel unlistened to, dismissed by and ignored by the medical profession ? I have a lifelong disability and have spent much of my life in and out of hospital, and have regular contact with multiple teams for one thing and another. I can honestly say that I’ve never felt this way - even in the bad old days when you didn’t dare talk to a consultant unless they spoke to you first !! Reading some of the responses l can well understand why there are notices up everywhere in healthcare facilities, reminding people that certain behaviours won’t be tolerated. I can only assume much frustration as a result of GP’s not agreeing with Dr Google. Have any of you stopped to consider that the problem might be you ?

She'll probably learn as she goes through life that you have to manage your own outcomes. If she were an adult in exactly this situation, how the patient manages the doctor has just as much influence on the outcome as how the doctor manages the patient. She won't now be listened to in the way she had hoped and I hope she learns that those are the consequences of her actions. Yes it's possible the doctor was useless, but given she is 15, it's more likely to be on her.

None of us will know what did or didn't happen in that room.
But if she's old enough to go in for a consult by herself she should know how to behave.
If you're not happy with a consult you can put in a formal complaint, you can walk out etc but don't need to create a scene.
Kicking off like that is distressing for other patients who are waiting. Is that was my surgery she'd be getting a warning letter for her behaviour.

She isn’t standing up for herself, she is just rude! It is not as if she intellectually challenged the doctor over the relevance of her questions based on her knowledge. She was plain rude.

This in no way will get her a better outcome.

For those who think she was some kind of a feminist warrior, how about the doctor? She probably (if older) overcame plenty of obstacles to train and work in a traditionally male dominated profession.

Maybe she should have forgotten ‘be kind’ and loudly told OP’s daughter the limits of her knowledge and lack of manners. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have the advantage of zero consequences.

TBF, NHS appointments are pretty crap. No one is happy with them, least of all the doctors, which is why so many patients and doctors are moving to the private sector if they can afford it.

If you want to be able to drill the doctor for the rationale behind their questions, a private GP is the way to go.

Why do so many of you feel unlistened to, dismissed by and ignored by the medical profession ?
because we were, you’d need to ask my doctor why he felt the need to do that. It’s always going to be higher on mumsnet, given the studies on how women are often dismissed more in healthcare.

Female GP's can be awful too. A female GP is the only that had me leaving the surgery in tears when I was in my early 20s.

I understand everyone wants to tell their story, but none of them help the OP.

She did not verbally abuse anyone. She said I'm done here thank you and stormed out and just said you know your not really good at your job.

What were the questions she was asked that she thought were irrelevant?

I only ask as there's quite a few women GPs on here and they could probably say whether your daughter was correct they were irrelevant or if she behaved inappropriately. If you don't know what has been said, you can't really judge either way.

This situation is probably just one of a million teeny tiny reasons why many doctors don't like being doctors any more.

So what was the scene then OP, you're giving mixed messages

And you havent clarified the issue she sought help for, why she thought the doctor wasnt good at their job, what were the questions she didnt like or didnt see the relevance of?

Does she want to make a formal complaint or see someone else?