Son stopping over at girlfriends

[Carol52]

Really really need advice. My son is nearly 18 his girlfriend is 17. They have been together for 2 years. I know they have had sex and he goes for tea on a Monday??. However her mum had texted she is going away and asked if my son could stop. I just don't feel comfortable letting him stop over I appreciate her texting me. But I feeling uncomfortable saying yes.
Any advice am I being completely stupid. One of my son's friends has just found out he is going to be a dad. My son and his girlfriend is hopefully sensible and we have talked before about things but my gut feeling is to say no

Jesus Christ, I don't believe you and another woman talking about each others grown consenting children, sex lives.

I would have gone NC asap, ye both have no boundaries nor respect for your sons right to privacy. And yes I have a similar aged son but I have respect and confidence in his maturity and decision making skills.

I gave total respect for everyone's opinion I have a great relationship with my son. I think to discuss these things with children etc is so important rather that then no discussion at all

Oh marbles the other woman is the girls mother so it's good we can talk

And you sound a great mum.

You said you're alone (me too) and you've sought others opinions and taken them on board.

You've done all you can as a responsible parent. Your Sonia lucky to have you as a mum.

No it's not okay. you both are an example of what not to do to two consenting individuals.

You are in their private sex life. The fact you don't see the boundaries is actually shocking.

Aw bless you that's mean alot thank you for your fab comment good luck to you too.

Seriously I hope your son has the grace to forgive you because I know I wouldn't.

Marbles your wrong WHATEVER you age you always need your parents .
If they have brought you up properly and if you are a good parent you advise and listen.

Anyone else agree with marbles

No, ignore her

👍curtains

@blackrabbitwhiterabbit

Stop over - stay, sleep there

??

Well done for actually listening to replies when asking opinions. It's OK to have different views but you have taken your son's wellbeing into account really well here x

It's lovely when a poster listens to replies and takes comments on board. You're a good mum OP and obviously care about your lad! But yeah, at 17 it's fine to stop over of a weekend.

You win the prize for most embarrassing mum.

Get out of their sex life!

The contraception one is tricky, I think mum to mum a quick chat is fine if you are both willing/perceptive to it. But equally I’d understand if it were asked and the other person said they didn’t feel it right to talk about! What you don’t want is what I had which was my father in law asking me in the car one day if I was on the pill yet, at 16! 😬😳

I think I’m with Marbles. Do people really do that - ask their kid’s girlfriend’s mum about her contraception?

It was once we knew they were started to have sex she went to the drs and they had been using condoms. We are not close parents of the children but we did have a chat

I don't constantly ask my son about his sex life it was once they had started . I don't take a big interest but on the other hand my son is a bright clever lad and his girlfriend is . As responsible parents we had a chat I don't see what's wrong with that

If you need to introduce and include your parents in your sex life eh nope I am fine with not being anywhere near your parenting.

I worked in child protection for years your boundaries are exceptionally left of healthy but whatever.

Tea on a Monday??? !!!

My goodness you need to nip that in the bud otherwise it can soon lead to unchaperoned walks in the park, a small rowing boat on the Serpentine...and then, well I can barely bring myself to say what happens next. In fact I can't - I'm going to have to go and lie down now.

😬 If my mum had gone off talking to my boyfriend’s mum telling her about my contraceptive decisions I don’t think I would ever have talked to her again about anything personal. Massive invasion of my privacy and agency. I would’ve felt so betrayed and belittled. These discussions are between me and my mum, she can give advice, help me with strategies to talk to the boyfriend etc. But my mum talking to his mum, good god. No.

I think you’re a good mum. It’s ok to still think of your 18 year old as quite young, a lot are. And a lot of parents are in bits when their 18 yr olds go off to uni. But you’ve taken on board what people have said. Your son and his girlfriend sound mature, sensible, and in a committed relationship. And your friend’s son becoming a father has probably made them be even more careful! I expect the girlfriend’s mum probably rang because your son thought you’d say no if he asked.

What is baffling me is medical personnel have legal boundaries stating they can't tell the parents to protect their patients. Parents are aware of this yet at the same time insert themselves in a relationship and in sex life decisions. I am absolutely baffled that any teen of this age is okay with it.

As I said I'm have a son the same age. Of course he is informed has access to protection and knows I have his back in life. I also know neither of us want to know a bloody thing about each others sex life 🤣