DS’s girlfriend is pregnant.

[Mondayblues6]

DS is 17 years old and his girlfriend is 16. They have been sleeping together a few months. I talked to him about contraception but he told me his girlfriend was not keen keen to go on the pill but they used condoms. Today he he told me that his girlfriend is 6 weeks pregnant. They are both very upset. They have already told his girlfriend’s mum and she has arranged for her to have an abortion. My son’s girlfriend is so upset that she will never get over this and that she is doing the wrong thing. My son is being very supportive and has told his girlfriend that he will support any decision she makes. My son is so sad and responsible that this happened. I have given him a hig and told him I will be there for them both. What else can I do?

Boys can say ‘no’ too.

Well they are less effective… used condoms as I can’t take the pill due to medical conditions, I have 2 dc…. They were expensive ones too 😂

Nothing wrong with misogyny or nothing wrong with telling all teenagers to not have sex? The first is obviously sexist and and once again, another way to control young womens sexuality and shame them for having one at all, the second is just unrealistic in todays world where everything is sexualised and porn is freely available, not that it was a great success historically either.

Why do you think women only have sex for validation? Do you genuinely believe women don’t have their own sexuality? It’s such a weird take, reminds me of men who used to institutionalise women who had ‘claimed’ to have had an orgasm, because they didn’t (want to) believe a female orgasm was a thing, so she must simply be mad.

We need to stop excusing men.

Make a male pill and then double CMS, direct from employer and if self employed still enforce a minimum amount.

Women excusing men are as much of the problem as men are.

It isn't right that it isn't available, and men not taking it shouldn't be a reason not to make it.

Right, because everyone goes through puberty at exactly the same rate, at exactly the same time and they all have the exact same personality.

🙄

Wait, you think most kids have finished puberty by 11 or 12?
Puberty is a long process with different stages that each teenager goes through at a different rate at a different time. It’s not like they wake up on their 13th birthday to find they have suddenly ‘gone through’ puberty and wants sex.

Adults can’t even control their urges a lot of the time, but you think a teenager can?!

You also didn’t acknowledge personality differences, different interests etc, just like adults, some will be more interested in sex than others. Absolutely ridiculous to suggest it all comes down to family morals, as if no teen from a ‘good’ family has ever had sex

No I think lots of men want more options, the problem is a lot of women won't like having the ability to procreate taken out of their hands completely.

So you think it is ok for 16 year old girls and boys to have sex? You don’t think they are too young? Telling a 16 year old child to not have sex in case she gets pregnant is sexist and trying to ‘stifle’ female sexuality?

It’s nothing about ‘good’ (ie money) families, it’s called SELF-WORTH and knowing that a 16 year old getting pregnant is nothing to be proud about.

It sounds like you have raised a lovely decent young man who is handling this more maturely than lots of the men that are spoken about on mums net!

I don't like the idea of her being forced or pressured into this though. Most women who have terminations feel relief, the very few that regret them are those that felt pressured or forced into it. If your son wants to support her he should encourage her to access the counselling which will be made available for free by the abortion provider. X

You think 16 yo"s are proud of getting pregnant? Lol

A lot of people see it as ending a life, even if it’s just a “bunch of cells” it’s still the possibility of a living human being that you’re taking away.

It's always amazing to me that posters on a parenting site- who should know how hard and expensive parenting is- continue to encourage teens to have babies on the basis of anecdata. Most posters who posted saying their DC had babies at this age also admit the DC are single and struggling in low pay jobs but gloss over this by saying " All you need is love"!

Love is not enough to raise a child

Absolutely this. Most people love their children. My drug addicted parents loved me. They had no business being parents though and bringing a child into things.

Whose proud?

Why do you see sex as shameful?

You answered your own question earlier. Miscarriages can be awful if they are for longed for children, because it's a loss of possibility.

An abortion isn't necessarily the same thing. There's no loss of a dream, if it is an unwanted pregnancy.

Yes, and some people seem to accept that in a miscarriage it’s a sad thing because it was the potential for life, but they then reduce that potential for life to a bunch of cells and nothing more to be okay with, even blasé about, abortion.

I am very OK and blasé about abortion, true. Potential for a GOOD life in this case is almost zero.

Life is immaterial. A relatively good life is what's needed.

No one is excusing men. I object to you thinking that!
It's acknowledging human behaviour.
Until all men are unable to walk away and not pay for a child they father, some will carry on being irresponsible.
And there will always be 'pill failures' just like there are with women using the Pill.

Utter Tosh. Yes, I’m sure that many of the women regret getting accidentally pregnant but few women actually regret having an abortion because it was the right choice for them at the time.

It’s all well and good talking about choices but a teenager having a baby is hardly the best start in life for the unborn child!

With an abortion, the focus in on the life that's already here.