DS’s girlfriend is pregnant.

[Mondayblues6]

DS is 17 years old and his girlfriend is 16. They have been sleeping together a few months. I talked to him about contraception but he told me his girlfriend was not keen keen to go on the pill but they used condoms. Today he he told me that his girlfriend is 6 weeks pregnant. They are both very upset. They have already told his girlfriend’s mum and she has arranged for her to have an abortion. My son’s girlfriend is so upset that she will never get over this and that she is doing the wrong thing. My son is being very supportive and has told his girlfriend that he will support any decision she makes. My son is so sad and responsible that this happened. I have given him a hig and told him I will be there for them both. What else can I do?

Education, values and morals go out of the window when raging hormones and opportunity collide

Funny how statistics down back up your theory! The % would be even accords the board - but it isn’t is it??

I’ve read that three times now and I still can’t make it make sense.

Glad it's not just me

It says "Funny how statistics don't back up your theory! The % would be even across the board - but it isn’t, is it??"

It’s got nothing to do with religion. It’s about young girls not having to get their sense of worth from whether a boy fancies them
enough to have sex with them.

in my school if you were one of the attractive popular smokers, you had sex at 14. if you were fat and a nerd like I was, no one was interested.

Because teenage girls don’t have their own raging hormones or developing sexuality?

That was so brave

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the rate of condom failure is 13% with typical (real-world) use. This means that 13 out of every 100 couples who use only condoms for birth control will become pregnant after one year.

I DO NOT LIKE THESE STATS! It means you have a 65% chance of being pregnant before you are 21 years old if you only use condoms and start having sex at age 16. (13% x 5 years = 65%)

What do you mean by that? Good girls keep their legs closed, that kind of thing?

Ahh, so she was a bit of a misogynist, and you are all for that?
You do know that saying only applied to girls right? Why is that do you think?

it sounds like it, and nothing wrong with it. I think it’s time to stop glorifying promiscuity as if it is something to be proud of if you are unable to cope with the consequences of pregnancy.
I mean, yes go ahead and sleep around, but only if you are in a position to deal with the consequences by yourself.

That is awful.

And why a male pill is so important. Both participants should have access to a secondary form of birth control

Let’s stop talking about abortions as if tgg ha ey were brownie badges (‘you had an abortion at 17? Well I had 7 by the time I was 10’).

abortions are tragic circumstances, and a hug and a pat on the head and a chocolate milkshake is not appropriate for a 16 year old, and normalising it is not doing society any favours because then you have a generation of adults who didn’t learn about age-appropriate activities.

there is a reason the teen pregnancy rate is strongly correlated with parental income and it has nothing to do with the rate of teen sex. Walking balls of hormones are going to have sex however they are raised or whatever laws may be passed. Teenage girls raised with high ambition aren’t going to let an unplanned pregnancy interfere with a lifetime of success.

if you want to reduce teenage parenthood, raise daughters to have big dreams. Teach them that they need a good education and can’t let anything get in their way. They will be more likely to insist on birth control compliance and more likely to get an abortion if the birth control fails.

But if you dig into the detail (on UK sites rather than US ones) a lot of the failure is down to mis-use.

That means (according to the research) not using one soon enough so some PIV has already happened. A lot of couples assume that foreplay including penetration is safe as long as there's no ejaculation.

The other reasons are it splits or comes off (before it's withdrawn)

If this happens, the MAP is one option.

The 5-year failure rate as you've quoted it isn't right. You can't simply multiply a 13% failure rate by 5 years.

If that was the case, more than half of all couples using condoms long term would have a pregnancy.

Some couples will never 'get it wrong' whereas others will get it wrong a lot.

@HumptyDumptysWife I agree. And in fact, a lot will depend on how fertile you are and how often you have sex.

But we should not be teaching teenagers "just use a condom and it'll be ok". Get them to double up on contraception. (Or abstain...or avoid PIV)

Also teach boys to be responsible and take responsibility for incidents.

Male pills are unlikely to 'take off' simply because many men aren't incentivised to take responsibility in the same way as women.
It's maybe sexist to say this but they can walk away, whereas women are left holding the baby, or otherwise.

Or they may be smart enough to know that they don’t need to have sex when they are so young for validation.

Men also think that having a vasectomy or taking the pill makes them less manly.

I agree too.

I think any young couple having sex need to use the Pill and condoms.

One method isn't enough.

Unfortunately these are then the most likely to procreate and pass down their stupid genes.