Would you leave a 13 year old at home overnight?

[Moomin999]

Debated posting this on AIBU as that is what I want to know.
My son has recently turned 13. He has fallen out with his best pal whose house he would stay at every weekend, Friday or Saturday night and we would occasionally have him here to stay to.
I’ve been in a relationship for 18 months and I would stay over at his and we’d go out for a date/some food when my son was on a sleepover.
My son currently doesn’t go to school (an entirely different issue and one I am trying to resolve/come up with alternative solutions!) so he is now at home 24/7. He doesn’t see his dad and we have no other immediate family.
I leave him at home for 2 days a week while I go to work and can, luckily, work from home the rest of the week.
Would I be unreasonable and an awful mother to leave him at home on a Friday or Saturday night? Overnight?
Am genuinely curious if anyone else has left early teens alone overnight?

Honestly at 13 I wouldn't, but I'm not judging

No, it's far too young.

13 is too young.

If he had older siblings with him my response would be different.

No absolutely not

And unlike a pp, I'd absolutely be judging you

Absolutely not.

That would be neglect. He’s far too young.

Would I leave a 13 year old kid overnight for an emergency - say I had to dash to the hospital - sure.

Would I leave them to have a date and sex? Absolutely not.

I know it’s really tricky and you sound like a caring mother but I think you need to look at other options.

I have a 13 years old boy and no I wouldn’t leave him alone overnight.

I wouldn’t. I might leave my just-17yo overnight - but haven’t yet. It sounds like it was really handy to have him stay over regularly at a friend’s but that isn’t going to be the case now, so I’d think the plans had to change.

Thank you! That’s what I knew really but wanted to run it past others. I think even if I did leave him and he was seeming ok, I would just be spending the whole night feeling guilty and awful and probably wouldn’t do it again.
Just struggling to see how my relationship is going to survive this 😣
obviously my son comes first but with school refusal and the issues that come with that and him being at home all of the time, this was what was keeping me going.

No way. I could list the many things that could happen (likely or unlikely) and when people ask where you were, your weren’t having an emergency or even at work will no alternative but out with your boyfriend.

I can’t believe this is actually real.

No chance. Way too young.

And if he is school refusing he is showing you that there is something going on with him.

No, he's too young. It also sounds like he needs you around even more at the moment, losing his best friend and not going to school. Why did they fall out?

No I would not . That's far too young and they get lonely. He's your priority not your date ffs.

Why can’t your boyfriend stay at yours?

No, I wouldn't. They are at the age where they think they know all there is to know and lots of them like to push boundaries, what would he get up to in your absence? I would be worried about all night gaming and talking to all manner of people online.

Is there a chance his dad/he would rebuild their relationship?

He's too young, he would be on his own too much. Why can't your partner come to yours?

His dad lives abroad and hasn’t seen him since he was a baby.

No, too young for overnight.

If your relationship can’t survive you putting your 13 year old child first, then he’s not the man for you.

Thank you, I knew this really and I promise I’m not an awful parent! Just struggling with this situation. He has been at home this entire academic year and whilst I love him and am obviously supportive it has been incredibly stressful!

Too young. I'd leave him for an evening though, getting home around 11ish, would that be an option?

What time does your son go to bed...can your boyfriend come round then?

Absolutely not.