making 16 years old to move out

[Ramiona]

Hi, so according to the law, 16 years can live independently but parents are responsible for them. How does it work? I have an almost 16 years old daughter who is highly abusive. I want her out, there is nothing I can do anymore with her behaviour. I am not able to control her. She has also OCD, and anxiety. She was challenging since I remember I was asking for mental help schools but they failed to provide anything. She can hit me and kick the door walls. The current situation is not good for my younger child and I am afraid I will finish with a stroke if I live longer under the same roof as my older daughter. I need to somehow move her out, there are no other family members to take her, and her father has rights taken away by the court. I do not want to involve the police as I lied to them already when she run away for half a day saying she will hit herself (they asked if she ever hit me and I said no even thou I have pictures proving otherwise but I didn't wanted put her in trouble). I don't want to cause her trouble I just want her out.

Also see the facebook group Newbold hope

Fair enough, warn her now. Not terrible advice overall.

You need to contact social services if the situation is as bad as you're saying. Your priority is to safeguard the younger kids. SS will assess the situation, probably most likely offer support to keep her at home in the first instance. Alternatives are foster care (if they feel she is too vulnerable for semi independent living).

Does she go to school? Does she present similar there?

Oops, pressed send too soon. As to not making a statement, I speak as a parent who was in this position and while wanting the abuse to stop, most definitely did not want my child to receive a criminal record. And in our situation, the shock of being arrested - which incidentally I did not want either but the police insisted seeing the devastation that had ensued - was enough to put a full stop to any violent and abusive behaviour. Still a difficult relationship but nothing at all can be salvaged until the parent is stronger and the child has stopped the acting out.

I know of a similar situation where the girl went to YMCA but not quite sure how that happened. Firstly from now on you must report every assault . No more telling lies to the police . And ask social services for help as well .

This is good advice
At the moment the relationship is broken, call ss for help and the best of luck .

There are places that house 16/17. A range of organisations such as Foyers,YMCA and similar.

Most are referrals via social services via Housing options at Council. Your situation is not uncommon at all.

Alternatively your daughter could opt to go into care. Most 16/17 don’t want to though and she’d get a foster placement.

I don't want to argue with you @Twillow but you're also incorrect when you say that the offender, the daughter here, won't be charged if the victim, her mother, refuses to give a statement. I think this may have been the case in the past but it is not so any more.
I suppose it's probably unlikely without a victim statement but there may be other evidence, or the daughter might just admit it.
It's not up to victims these days to decide whether they want to press charges and the opposite is also true.
I think the law was changed because of domestic abuse cases when women (usually) were regularly attacked but were too scared or too in love with their partners to make a statement.

Op I just wanted to send you a virtual hug and hand hold. I don’t have any extra advice as other posters have nailed that. You can do this - please follow their advice.

16 year olds can claim benefits and get social housing

They absolutely cannot get social housing. They can be placed in supported accommodation by the local authority and in those cases they can claim benefits yes but that is absolutely not easy or automatic. I'm not sure what your point is as I already said this in the post you're quoting.

How are things OP?

Unless you live in every area of the U.K. you shouldn’t insist something isn’t true, when it is 🤷🏻‍♀️

They can register before 18 but will not be placed in social housing. There is law relating to how homeless under 18s are treated by local authorities. The responsibility for accommodating homeless under 18s is a joint responsibility between housing and children's services. Registering at 16 May be possible in Devon but they will not be offered a tenancy before they are 18.

My sister and my daughter’s friend both moved into council properties within the last 6 years, so when was this law put into place? If this law exists, why not make people register at 18?

*at 17 years old, one had just turned 17 and one was a few months off of being 18

https://england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/housing_options/young_people_and_care_leavers_housing_rights/tenancies_for_children_and_young_people

under 18s cannot hold tenancy agreements.

the reason people can register under 18 is because there are usually waiting lists and therefore the longer they are registered the higher up the list they are when they reach 18.

Social Services might be better for her than being alone at sixteen.
If you had been honest about the hitting she might have had some helpful intervention and be already living in foster care and out of your home..
Can you ease her into being a good lodger?
Portion off a bedroom and charge rent. Treat her like a lodger who cleans her own room, does her own laundry, lunch and breakfast and eats four cooked dinners per week and has access to TV in common room.
Once she has learnt those skills she can apply for lodging elsewhere.
Does her part time job or apprenticeship allow for payment to a land lady? Does she need to consult school careers advisor and change things up a bit?
Practical budgeting and cooking skills could be out sourced through a youth charity, the prison system or Social Services maybe.

Practical budgeting and cooking skills could be out sourced through a youth charity, the prison system or Social Services maybe.

the fuck? The prison system? Social services aren't there to teach teenagers how to budget but the prison system??

Also, every time she assaults you, call the Police.
She needs intervention. You do not deserve to be bashed, kicked, scratched; your daughter needs to be charged.
Youth detention centres with hard rules areset up to protect people like you and your younger daughter.

This sounds awful. But your comment "I'm doing nothing I just want her out" is not going to get her out. You have to do something. Other posters have suggested what things you need to to do. Doing nothing is just going to continue with what you have now. So please take responsibility for yourself and your younger and get a plan to start changing. Doing nothing will not get her out it will make her stay and put you and your younger child through more pain. You must do something and start now.

Can you call the police every time? Can Social Services every time and contact your GP.

How about you try parenting her instead of trying to outsource it to someone else ?

Honestly OP I know that sounds harsh but it sounds like you have let things get this bad and now you don’t want to deal with the consequences.

Did you read the link, they can’t have land interest, nothing about not being allowed a tenancy. It says under 18’s can have a tenancy and will be liable for rent arrears etc

There are some shitty responses here. Questioning OP in a really rude manner but have any of you got any experience?

OP is obviously struggling and at her wits end. Phone social services OP I can sympathise I took my cousin in for a while and it was an absolute nightmare. You need to be firm with social services too