The stunning selfishness of teenagers - add your example.

[OwlBeGone]

Look, I know it's a stage (usually) and part of their brain evolution but fuck me, the selfishness and self absorption really flabbergasts me sometimes. My dh has had to rush off to help his mum who is having a crisis due to undiagnosed dementia, most likely, and not once have either of my teens asked about how things are going with her!? They're 15 and 18.

In general, they're OK kids in general, and I have been keeping them updated, but that's the only reason they know what's going on. I know there's an argument of "they don't have to ask because you're telling them" but it's only if I seek them out, sometimes later on in the day.

😂totally agree. My 16 year DD is like this but my 14 year DS is lovely at the moment. I am sure he will be the same soon. When they are both through the otherside, (fingers crossed) I have a nervous feeling my 11 year old DS will turn into a teenager and start being a little bugger.

My eldest DS was a dream as a teen. Neat, tidy and considerate.

My youngest DS and StepDS are now in their teens and as much as they are kind and caring, they're thoughtless and just have no concept of helping anyone.

Shoes next to the cabinet not in it. Towels might get stuffed on the rail but they're never hanging so they actuallly dry.
Clean clothes dumped on the floor
Today I asked them to wash any dishes they've used - rather than use any plates/cups they've not eaten.
When I lose it because they do nothing to help me their first response is always "but you didn't ask"

Also last week I bought some lovely strawberries. I was so looking forward to them for my breakfast the next morning. The little darlings decided to have a midnight snack of Nutella wraps and strawberries. I was out of order for telling them off for eating them all because they had left us 3 strawberries in the punnet.

This is mine too. My youngest actually brought them in a few weeks ago, possibly for the first time ever (aged 17) and I just assumed it was a neighbour! 🤣

@AnAdultCat that's great news. I've heard it gets better. I guess I remember only too well being the obnoxious teen. I got better eventually 😊

Oh my god I could write a book! My eldest DD now 21 has left home/been kicked out now, the absolute pinnacle that spurred me telling her to go on her way was her telling us that we didn't care about her/love her and that her you get sibling was the favourite - bearing in mind she is 21 and yes I had been putting pressure on her to get a job. When saying we didn't love or care for her she totally disregarded the 10 years of running round we did, sitting in hospitals/a&e/taking to CAMHS while she was going through her admittedly difficult teenage years. WE EVEN MOVED HOUSE FROM SOMEWHERE WE WERE REALLY HAPPY AND LOVED LIVING, because we felt it would be beneficial to her to be closer to other family, yet we don't care!

Younger DD has morphed into an odd human who wears big fake eyelashes and screeches at her friends on facetime while we can often only elicit a grunt in response to a "tell me how your day has been" type question. She did make me a nice cup of tea earlier though without making a song and dance about it which is a plus!

This is awful. Can't you just deny her these luxuries until she sorts her attitude out? I don't mean to sound horrid but it just sounds like she walks all over you, treats you like shit & still gets what she wants!

Driving home after my father's funeral. DS, who was genuinely very fond of him, agrieved and baffled, age 15. 'Why are you still crying? It's over now.'

😲😲😲 But you did ask - when you told them how exhausted you were and would like some help! What a nasty little madam!

I am sick of asking for washing as he moans if go in room when at school to get it. The last week I have gone in to get school uniform and underwear but left anything else. He will soon be moaning when favourite top not washed and no clothes.

DS14 - Asking me for food technology items at 9pm for tomorrow...

The ratio of money vs other things is definitely increasing when it comes to interaction.

He's quite pleasant and does show thankfulness most of the time, doesn't seem to let computer games get in the way of schoolwork. It's his Monster drink addiction I'm worried about.

More fool all of them.

I let DD15 go internet shopping with my credit card. Everything arrived yesterday.

Me: how are your new clothes?

DD: oh my GOD mum just LEAVE me ALONE.

Last week she stubbed her toe:

DD: I'm literally in so much pain right now you can't possibly understand.

Me: remind me which one of us has just come back from hospital having had an abdominal hysterectomy?

(Clue: it was me)

I stopped doing laundry for dd's now 16 and 17 just before Covid hit.. Best decision ever..
Home cooked tea is attitude depending. Shitbags make their own tea in our house..

Here's a good example of a selfish teen.

We had a house fire last year, caused by a disposable vape left on 18 year old DD's bed. She was home with her 12 year old brother at the time, I was out looking at a potential car to buy her.

I have begged her not to bring them in the house again after all the damage they caused, and the fact her and her brother could have been killed.

I've just found 10 of them in her room. With one on the bed. I honestly could scream.

Oh and absolutely no apology as apparently it won't get her anywhere. Absolutely no remorse from her at all.

Ha! The food tech one made me laugh! I was away with work, literally on the other side of the world. I got a call at around 1am, the only call I've received directly from any of my kids when I've been away I think. Of course I panicked and answered.

Hello! What's happening?
I'm cooking tomorrow. Can I use chunks of pineapple instead of rings?
What are you making?
Pineapple upside down cake.
Probably. I don't know. Where's your dad?
Working.
Where?
Downstairs, but I can hear him typing.
Ask him! I was fast asleep.
You don't need to shout! God!

It made my colleagues laugh the next day, they thought it was very cute 🙄

My daughter passed her driving test at age 19. Apparently her dad and I were "a pair of fucking arseholes" for having the audacity to go away for the weekend following her driving test and not staying home and taking her shopping for a car.

A weekend that had been booked for three months, and that she was well aware of.

Is it normal for this kind of behaviour to start at 11 years old in boys? Or have we just spectacularly fucked up as parents?

I was tired and ill and I still had to work, I still did all the cleaning and tidying at home, my dad was recovering from surgery and I was helping him.
My daughter had asked for a lift into town. I said yes. I said please hurry up as I want to get it done and get home. She rolled her eyes and she said was ‘tired’ and she really couldn’t rush - after weeks of sleeping til midday, eating cereal and crisps - the most strenuous thing she had done was to post on Instagram.
I shouted so loudly my neighbour looked out the window so see what was happening. That was a year ago and now everyone in my household is ready and waiting if I am taking them anywhere.

I feel for you and myself too, my 15 old only kisses me when she needs something. I feel terrible to be used this ways. Where did I go wrong :(

Guess you are talking about this, on the floor, since he had to sleep

It gets better. At 15 and a month exactly in my experience (sample size 2 so far), like a light switch.
Congratulations, you’ve nearly made it!

Generally speaking, DS, just turned 18, isn't too bad. He will do things around the house, with only a small amount of whining. But he has a look that would turn anyone to stone, carbon copy of his fathers actually, and rather than put clean laundry away, he just lets the pile on his bed get bigger and bigger, and sleeps underneath it.