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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DD 13 has come home with a belly button piercing. Her friend did it on a sleepover!!!

142 replies

PatButchersEarring · 19/02/2023 20:46

I have posted in the support for teenagers thread in this topic re issues we are having with DD.

But this evening, I think I am speechless. She's come home from a friend's where she's had a lovely time for the afternoon. She was wearing a crop top and I looked down- she's had her belly button pierced!!

When asked, she has said that a friend of hers did it (not the one she was with today) a couple of weeks ago on a sleepover. DD is 13, friend is 14.

Piercing looks sore, but not infected as such. I will be taking her to the doctor tomorrow.

I've also called the Dad of the girl in question..he was unaware of what she was doing..although he had bought her the piercing needles, apparently. Long story with this girl and her Dad- she's parented with a very light touch imo. Anyway, thankfully they are moving away very soon, so I'm hoping there will be a natural end to this friendship..but in the interim, DD is livid with me and says I have ruined her friendship by calling this girl's Dad....but I feel he needed to know.

Take me back to the toddler years, please!!

OP posts:
Particularprick · 19/02/2023 20:49

Why are you taking her to the doctor?

bikiniisland · 19/02/2023 20:49

Why are you taking her to the doctor?

Rainbowshit · 19/02/2023 20:50

Why would you waste the doctors time with this?

Ingleduh · 19/02/2023 20:50

Wouldn't bother with the Drs unless there is obvious infection. Just take it out and let it heal.

MaraScottie · 19/02/2023 20:50

If it's not infected, you don't need a doctor. Unless of course you were concerned it was a dirty needle but it doesn't sound like it.

ArcticSkewer · 19/02/2023 20:51

Sounds unlikely. Maybe she did it at a piercing shop

Soubriquet · 19/02/2023 20:51

Blimey she’s brave!! I had mine done when I was 15 I think and that was at a proper parlour. Hurt like hell!!

She doesn’t need a doctor though

Richvanilla · 19/02/2023 20:51

Meh... Didn't we all do shit like this when we were teenagers? I certainly pierced a few things myself and I was hardly the most rebellious teenager!

PickledOwl · 19/02/2023 20:51

God one of those things really!

I'd do the whole cross thing with her, endures she takes it out immediately, tell her there will be no more sleepovers if she cannot be trusted not to do silly things and I'd let that be the end of it

A year or two younger I'd have rung the dad for sure. But not with a 13 year old

I'd also not take to the doctor as that's just wasting everyone's time

Needmorelego · 19/02/2023 20:53

If I thought it was possibly infected I would go to a doctor. Also to get tests done for anything that can be transmitted via shared needles.
The people on the thread saying "why waste the doctor's time" - have you never heard of hepatitis or HIV?

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 19/02/2023 20:55

Honestly what I'd do is have a sensible discussion about how unhygienic it potentially was. I'd suggest that she removes it so it can heal on the promise that she can have it done properly when it's healed nicely.

cigarettesNalcohol · 19/02/2023 20:55

Taking her to the gp is a complet over réaction and will only push her away further. I did the exact same thing at her age and initially my mum was also angry but she realised this was just me trying to conform to the peer group and fit in. At the end of the day it's just a piercing. Taking her to the doctors is just embarrassing and humiliating her. She's not 4 anymore. She's growing up fast and you reacting by flying off the handle at the mistakes she makes will only make her do more... she's a teenager. What teenager hasn't done a piercing to themselves ? It's really not that bad. Just make sure she's cleaning it.

Original poster
PatButchersEarring · 19/02/2023 20:56

To be clear, this was not done at a piercing shop- it was done by a 14 year old in a 14 year old's bedroom!

It looks sore and scabby- I was going to call the doctor to get it checked, get prescribed antibiotic cream if needed and frankly, so that she realises that having your mate pierce your belly button for you at home is an unsafe choice, no matter how many youtube videos they have watched.

Would others not do this?

OP posts:
Original poster
PatButchersEarring · 19/02/2023 20:57

Needmorelego · 19/02/2023 20:53

If I thought it was possibly infected I would go to a doctor. Also to get tests done for anything that can be transmitted via shared needles.
The people on the thread saying "why waste the doctor's time" - have you never heard of hepatitis or HIV?

Yes, precisely this.

OP posts:
abyssofwoah · 19/02/2023 20:57

Ah this takes me back to getting my friend to pierce my ear in the school bogs age 12!

Don’t blame the friend, your DD is the one who is responsible. And for the love of god don’t take her to the doctor if you don’t even think it’s infected. Teach her how to keep it clean, ground her if you must.

MaireadMcSweeney · 19/02/2023 20:58

Needmorelego · 19/02/2023 20:53

If I thought it was possibly infected I would go to a doctor. Also to get tests done for anything that can be transmitted via shared needles.
The people on the thread saying "why waste the doctor's time" - have you never heard of hepatitis or HIV?

What do you think a GP can do about that the day after the piercing has been done?!

OP just make sure she takes it out - if it was really done at home it won't be done properly and could get infected. Otherwise I don't think this is that bad for teenage behaviour but then my friends and I all pierced ourselves (and once I pierced my friend! With a safety pin 😆) with pins and earrings and nothing bad happened.

MaireadMcSweeney · 19/02/2023 21:00

PatButchersEarring · 19/02/2023 20:56

To be clear, this was not done at a piercing shop- it was done by a 14 year old in a 14 year old's bedroom!

It looks sore and scabby- I was going to call the doctor to get it checked, get prescribed antibiotic cream if needed and frankly, so that she realises that having your mate pierce your belly button for you at home is an unsafe choice, no matter how many youtube videos they have watched.

Would others not do this?

If you take it out and clean it with boiled salt water it should be fine. If it's not obviously infected now then you won't get antibiotics. It's also not worth wasting the GP time to teach her a lesson. It is probably worth getting a blood test in 3 months but not now!

Needmorelego · 19/02/2023 21:00

@MaireadMcSweeney the GP could arrange tests if needed and start on prevention medications if needed.

HundredMilesAnHour · 19/02/2023 21:01

Wow, there's some cool mums on this thread 🙄 If I'd done this, my parents would have gone absolutely mental. I'd probably still be grounded (and I'm 52 😂). And there would have certainly been some VERY strong words with the father of the friend given he bought the piercing needles.

ThereIbledit · 19/02/2023 21:01

I'd go to a pharmacist before I went to a Gp for this to be honest.

Will you actually be able to see a GO face to face anyway?

creekingmillenial · 19/02/2023 21:02

Needmorelego · 19/02/2023 20:53

If I thought it was possibly infected I would go to a doctor. Also to get tests done for anything that can be transmitted via shared needles.
The people on the thread saying "why waste the doctor's time" - have you never heard of hepatitis or HIV?

Absolutely! And of course you should have rung the dad. This isn’t a 17 year old, she’s only 13!

mathanxiety · 19/02/2023 21:03

Yes, take her to the doctor. The piercing was not done in sanitary conditions. Hepatitis is no joke.

Then find a therapist for DD. This was a form of self harm.

Titsywoo · 19/02/2023 21:03

How on earth did they do it?! It's not like piercing an ear you go through quite a bit of flesh from what I remember of the time I saw my friend having hers done. Usually a chunky hoop too so you couldn't do it with a needle. It was done with a skewer type thing when I saw it.

mumoffourminimes · 19/02/2023 21:03

Needmorelego · 19/02/2023 20:53

If I thought it was possibly infected I would go to a doctor. Also to get tests done for anything that can be transmitted via shared needles.
The people on the thread saying "why waste the doctor's time" - have you never heard of hepatitis or HIV?

I agree with this.

Where the hell did a 14 year old get needles from in the first place?! 🤢

LynetteScavo · 19/02/2023 21:04

I think it's shot that everyone is saying don't waste the doctors time because a child has had a needles shoved through her flesh and it now looks sore. 10 or 15 years ago it would have been run of the mill to see a GP for something like this.

Take her to the GP, OP. She's a child with a sore wound. Obviously there are bigger issues with her not making safe choices when with her friends, which I think is your biggest concern.