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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DD 13 has come home with a belly button piercing. Her friend did it on a sleepover!!!

142 replies

PatButchersEarring · 19/02/2023 20:46

I have posted in the support for teenagers thread in this topic re issues we are having with DD.

But this evening, I think I am speechless. She's come home from a friend's where she's had a lovely time for the afternoon. She was wearing a crop top and I looked down- she's had her belly button pierced!!

When asked, she has said that a friend of hers did it (not the one she was with today) a couple of weeks ago on a sleepover. DD is 13, friend is 14.

Piercing looks sore, but not infected as such. I will be taking her to the doctor tomorrow.

I've also called the Dad of the girl in question..he was unaware of what she was doing..although he had bought her the piercing needles, apparently. Long story with this girl and her Dad- she's parented with a very light touch imo. Anyway, thankfully they are moving away very soon, so I'm hoping there will be a natural end to this friendship..but in the interim, DD is livid with me and says I have ruined her friendship by calling this girl's Dad....but I feel he needed to know.

Take me back to the toddler years, please!!

OP posts:
spottie · 19/02/2023 21:04

I'm surprised by the replies...the child is only 13!

If it's sore and scabby OP yes I would make a GP appointment.

Original poster
PatButchersEarring · 19/02/2023 21:05

Fair enough. Thanks for the advice everybody. It was done 2 weeks ago, apparently.
For the record, I was very restrained when speaking to the girl's Dad- and I don't blame her- it's clearly both of them. But if my daughter was performing belly button piercings in her bedroom when we were hosting sleepovers, I would want to know.

OP posts:
roarfeckingroarr · 19/02/2023 21:06

Ha good on her. It bloody hurts! Could be worse OP and it's her body.

Greenshake · 19/02/2023 21:08

mathanxiety · 19/02/2023 21:03

Yes, take her to the doctor. The piercing was not done in sanitary conditions. Hepatitis is no joke.

Then find a therapist for DD. This was a form of self harm.

Self harm? Don’t be so over the top. It’s totally normal for a teenager to want piercings. All this talk of HIV and hepatitis is also a bit much.

MyOldFriendTime · 19/02/2023 21:08

I agree with the others - don't waste the GP's time on this!
Just keep it clean and bathe in cool boiled salt water.

AllWorkYoPlait · 19/02/2023 21:09

I'd deffo remove it and seek reassurance that equipment was brand new and unused.

I think belly button is not on par with ear lobe piercing. I took mine out over 15 years ago. The hole hasn't closed and a couple of times a year it likes to get gross and infected. If I could turn back time I'd never have done it. Same goes for my shit tattoo. I'd be really annoyed I'd this was my child and furious if my child pierced another.

Me and my friends never pierced each other. We went to shops for that.

Twentywisteria · 19/02/2023 21:13

If the needle was new out of the packet and only used on your daughter then there is no blood-borne infection risk.

Taking her to the GP in the hope the GP will scold your daughter for you is lazy parenting.

MyOldFriendTime · 19/02/2023 21:13

Then find a therapist for DD. This was a form of self harm

What the actual hell? Don't be ridiculous. She's a teenager having a bit of fun with her mates.

user1471453601 · 19/02/2023 21:13

I had my ears pierced by my mate using an ice cube and a darning needle when I was 13. 59 years later, I'm still here.

stop getting het up about it, would be my advise. Yes, she defied you, but at that age, it's normal. niece had her belly button pierced at about 15 while her parents were away. Her rationale was they wouldn't have let her if they'd been there, so she did it when they weren't. Sound reasoning, in my eyes.

Twentywisteria · 19/02/2023 21:14

Also - even if it was used on another 13 year old girl, 13 year old girls do not generally have HIV or hepatitis 🙄

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/02/2023 21:14

All this talk of HIV and hepatitis is also a bit much.

I used to hang out with lots of people with a great number of piercings back when it was properly counter-culture. None of us would have got any body parts pierced somewhere that didn't use either new equipment or properly sterilised in an autoclave.

Needles bought from somewhere, used by multiple teenagers, no proper sterilisation? Yes, they could have anything. And hepatitis, unlike HIV, is a very robust virus. It absolutely could come in on second hand needles.

Wearpantsffs · 19/02/2023 21:15

Interestingly, a school friend of mine tested positive for hep C when she went to start IVF in her late 30s and the only thing she could think of was the DIY piercings we’d all done on each other in our teens. She had 18 months worth of treatment and recovered- and went on to have a baby - but not such an innocent pastime as one might think. We all got tested too but didn’t share results so I have no idea if it was that or not - I was ok but it was scary!

DaisyDucks · 19/02/2023 21:15

I can’t believe how laid back people are being about a 14 year old mutilating a 13 year olds body.

Greenshake · 19/02/2023 21:16

@MrsTerryPratchett where does the OP say anything about multiple uses of the needle?

Wearpantsffs · 19/02/2023 21:16

Oh and it’s probably not been done deep enough so best to take it out or it’ll grow out anyway. Mine did!!

AliceS1994 · 19/02/2023 21:17

I did exactly at her age and I promise I've turned into a really nice, normal, respectable adult!

EyesOnThePies · 19/02/2023 21:18

I agree with you OP: minors should not be making holes through each other’s flesh. Even with consent, unlicensed piercing is not an ok thing to do. Any reputable salon will have age restrictions on belly button piercing, and piercing without parental consent.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/02/2023 21:19

Greenshake · 19/02/2023 21:16

@MrsTerryPratchett where does the OP say anything about multiple uses of the needle?

They got them from who knows where. Could have been used before. Because it's not guaranteed they were bought sterile and new.

bikiniisland · 19/02/2023 21:19

It looks sore and scabby- I was going to call the doctor to get it checked, get prescribed antibiotic cream if needed and frankly, so that she realises that having your mate pierce your belly button for you at home is an unsafe choice, no matter how many youtube videos they have watched.

It's not up to the doctor to teach her that. All you would be doing is showing her how to waste the doctors time. Take it out, keep the area clean; see a pharmacist if you think it needs looked at.

BertHandsome · 19/02/2023 21:19

although he had bought her the piercing needles, apparently
Likely that they're pre-sterilised single use needles. As long as it was opened right before the piercing and the area was cleaned before hand the likelihood of infection is low. Obviously it isn't ideal and it's a proper daft thing to do, but is it the end of the world? Take her to a pharmacist for a look at it and make sure she's following decent cleaning routines. It's quite impressive she's got the sense to use proper piercing needles, we used to use safety pins ran through a lighter to 'sterilise' it. Mind you, we used to try and give ourselves tattoos with compasses and biro ink and no one I know got HIV.

endofthelinefinally · 19/02/2023 21:19

I would absolutely worry about blood borne diseases and yes, it is possible to give some preventative treatment for some blood borne diseases. You have no idea if the needle was clean or not. It is totally inappropriate for 13 year olds to be doing diy body piercings.

fooyangcake · 19/02/2023 21:19

This sounds pretty standard for teenage girls at sleepovers. We were always piercing each others ears, using needles held in lighter flames to sterilise them. I did my nose when I was 15.

Yes it's daft, but it's certainly not unusual. And I highly doubt her friend has HIV.

Snoken · 19/02/2023 21:20

Meh…

I’m in my forties and had my belly button pierced by my friends brother when I was 14 using a needle and ice cube. I still have the hole but I don’t put anything in it anymore. It’s a totally normal thing for teenagers to do. I also had my nose pierced at a funfair at 13, but that hole has closed up.

Just clean it now with antiseptic and make sure she cleans it morning and night for the next 6 weeks.

RichardHeed · 19/02/2023 21:21

DaisyDucks · 19/02/2023 21:15

I can’t believe how laid back people are being about a 14 year old mutilating a 13 year olds body.

Hyperbolic much?

DillDanding · 19/02/2023 21:21

I gave extra piercings to lots of my friends (and my mum!) at about this age (ears, not belly buttons). I think a belly button would be a greater risk of infection. Why didn’t she get it done at a proper place?

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