Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DD 13 has come home with a belly button piercing. Her friend did it on a sleepover!!!

142 replies

PatButchersEarring · 19/02/2023 20:46

I have posted in the support for teenagers thread in this topic re issues we are having with DD.

But this evening, I think I am speechless. She's come home from a friend's where she's had a lovely time for the afternoon. She was wearing a crop top and I looked down- she's had her belly button pierced!!

When asked, she has said that a friend of hers did it (not the one she was with today) a couple of weeks ago on a sleepover. DD is 13, friend is 14.

Piercing looks sore, but not infected as such. I will be taking her to the doctor tomorrow.

I've also called the Dad of the girl in question..he was unaware of what she was doing..although he had bought her the piercing needles, apparently. Long story with this girl and her Dad- she's parented with a very light touch imo. Anyway, thankfully they are moving away very soon, so I'm hoping there will be a natural end to this friendship..but in the interim, DD is livid with me and says I have ruined her friendship by calling this girl's Dad....but I feel he needed to know.

Take me back to the toddler years, please!!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 19/02/2023 21:38

DaisyDucks · 19/02/2023 21:28

Show quote history

You clearly didn't read the definition if you think a miniscule hole made by a piercing needle qualifies as mutilation. 🙄

Twentywisteria · 19/02/2023 21:39

Needmorelego · 19/02/2023 21:37

@Twentywisteria a lot of 13 year old could have been born HIV+ as it can be passed on in-utero.

Those cases are vanishingly rare in the UK. HIV is also very unstable outside the body (unlike hep)

MyOldFriendTime · 19/02/2023 21:39

PickledOwl · 19/02/2023 21:26

I pierced my own ears at 13. We didn't have any ice cubes though so I had to use 2 frozen fish fingers

😆🤣😂

DaisyDucks · 19/02/2023 21:39

Aquamarine1029 · 19/02/2023 21:38

You clearly didn't read the definition if you think a miniscule hole made by a piercing needle qualifies as mutilation. 🙄

Show quote history

Wrong again!

Needmorelego · 19/02/2023 21:40

@PatButchersEarring please remember that her having caught HIV or hepatitis is probably very unlikely so don't go into panic mode but it really should be checked out.
Fingers crossed it's just a bit gunky and scabby and it will heal quickly 💐

liveforsummer · 19/02/2023 21:41

Needmorelego · 19/02/2023 20:53

If I thought it was possibly infected I would go to a doctor. Also to get tests done for anything that can be transmitted via shared needles.
The people on the thread saying "why waste the doctor's time" - have you never heard of hepatitis or HIV?

Absolutely, but how likely is it that 2 young teens are at any risk in these circumstances. I remember getting the top of my ear pierced with someone else's earring and a potato on the other side to hold the ear still at around the same age by a mate. These girls used specifically purchased needles.

Original poster
PatButchersEarring · 19/02/2023 21:43

Needmorelego · 19/02/2023 21:40

@PatButchersEarring please remember that her having caught HIV or hepatitis is probably very unlikely so don't go into panic mode but it really should be checked out.
Fingers crossed it's just a bit gunky and scabby and it will heal quickly 💐

Thank you.

Well, it looks like she's simply not speaking to me as I've let the other girl's Dad know...

So I'm not sure if I'll be able to get her to the doctor's even if they do say to bring her in to get it checked...🙄

OP posts:
BellePeppa · 19/02/2023 21:44

DaisyDucks · 19/02/2023 21:15

I can’t believe how laid back people are being about a 14 year old mutilating a 13 year olds body.

Probably either ‘cool’ mums or not mums at all. I’d clean it up and go to the GP if it looked infected or potentially infected. I’d keep my eye on it for a few days but I wouldn’t just dismiss a GP visit as a waste of time from the off.

Soakitup37 · 19/02/2023 21:45

You can buy single use piercing needles /guns on Amazon for those asking - doubt they got the needle from a bin. My Money is on that.

bit Ott on the mutilation /self harm chatter.

Im sorry but this is what teenagers do, push boundaries rebel take risks- she’s not exactly the delinquent of the year!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 19/02/2023 21:52

Snoken · 19/02/2023 21:24

I think you have to be 15 these days, and we all know teenagers have zero patience.

Show quote history

My DD had hers done at 16yo , I don;t know what the age restrictions are (we're in Zone 6) but they did say at 16 she could sign her own consent form.
She did insist I drive her there , and pay .
This was a reptable tattoo and piercing place she wouldn;t go down the self pierce route .

OP- if she keeps the piercing then look up care on YouTube ( the LITHA method Leave It The Hell Alone )

AlmostSpring2023 · 19/02/2023 21:52

mathanxiety · 19/02/2023 21:03

Yes, take her to the doctor. The piercing was not done in sanitary conditions. Hepatitis is no joke.

Then find a therapist for DD. This was a form of self harm.

God you come out with some utter tosh.

Sorry, but you do. Self harm 😂😂😂

Bournetilly · 19/02/2023 21:56

OP literally says
‘I've also called the Dad of the girl in question..he was unaware of what she was doing..although he had bought her the piercing needles’
They weren’t dirty needles and very unlikely they have been used multiple times. I wouldn’t take her to the GP unless I thought it was infected.

Princessdebthe1st · 19/02/2023 21:59

As a nurse and someone whose previous role used to include investigating injuries that could lead to exposure to blood borne viruses (HIV, Hep B & C) I would take this seriously and take her to the GP for assessment, it is absolutely NOT wasting the GPs time. The girl who did the piercing may have used ‘proper’ piercing needles but why, if she was reckless enough to do this, would you think for a second that the needles had not been used on more than one person and why would you imagine she had the knowledge or care to sterilise them properly between uses?

FunnysInLaJardin · 19/02/2023 21:59

What a lot of fuss! My mate pierced my ears at home when we were 14. I don't think my parents even knew. I didn't die!

User57632678 · 19/02/2023 22:01

I would encourage her to take it out, let it heal and then if she still wants it then take her to a professional piercer to get it done.

I used to do daft things like this myself when I was younger until I found a piercer who would pierce so long as I had a signed consent form which I used to take away, sign myself, and then bring back. Teenagers will always find a way so honestly better that you know and ensure they do it safety imo!

Devilrocknroller · 19/02/2023 22:03

If she doesn't want to go to the doctor, show her some photos of infected belly button piercings - a friend of mine had one done in high school and when it got infected it turned inward and it basically started being dragged inside the belly button

flutterbyebaby · 19/02/2023 22:07

I pierced my nose using a frozen sausage to numb it when I was 14, hurt like hell

Woodendonkey · 19/02/2023 22:11

No way did her friend do this. I had mine done without any anesthetiser many moons ago and it isn’t something someone without experience can do. It’s tough.

Overthebloodymoon · 19/02/2023 22:12

Grim! I’d be straight to the Dr, making sure tetanus jab was up to date and getting tested for all manner of other things!

WhatHappenedToYoyos · 19/02/2023 22:14

Sorry a long reply but... I loved piercings as a teenager but not so much as a fitting in thing, I just seemed to like them. Now I wear none at all so it's not like I've become a heavily pierced adult as a result.

Firstly, I would use some type of punishment for the hiding of it and the risky behaviour of the piercing. No visits to friends for a few weeks for example until trust is restored.

However, my main suggestion would be to have a proper chat with her about how piercings leave permanent marks and about health and safety with regards to the blood and needles. It might be good to also factor in information briefly about bodily fluids being shared through sexual activity too. Then could you take her to get tested by GP (sexual health clinic could probably also do it) and then take her to have her belly button pierced professionally once it's healed from the first poor attempt?

You'd be showing her how to make proper, responsible and safe choices and teaching her the consequences of poor choices (blood tests, waiting for results, crusty piercing hole). If she wanted her belly button pierced so badly she'd allow a friend to give it a go then you may as well allow her to get it professionally done so it looks neat and tidy and to also show her the difference between the professional hygiene standards, qualifications and training compared to her young friend.

Woodendonkey · 19/02/2023 22:14

HIV has never gone away and unfortunately the new generation has apparently become very complacent about it because they think it is easily 'cured'.

@Needmorelego well it is.

IDontWantToBeAPie · 19/02/2023 22:16

ArcticSkewer · 19/02/2023 20:51

Sounds unlikely. Maybe she did it at a piercing shop

Illegal without parental permission so doubtful

Twentywisteria · 19/02/2023 22:19

IDontWantToBeAPie · 19/02/2023 22:16

Illegal without parental permission so doubtful

Show quote history

I got my lip pierced at 15, just lied and said I was 16. Easily done.

Original poster
PatButchersEarring · 19/02/2023 22:20

Woodendonkey · 19/02/2023 22:11

No way did her friend do this. I had mine done without any anesthetiser many moons ago and it isn’t something someone without experience can do. It’s tough.

Trust me, she did.

OP posts:
LizzyBennett · 19/02/2023 22:21

I discovered a tattoo on DD when she was 16. I demanded to know where she'd had it done. Said that she'd need testing for hep - if they would tattoo her underage then what other corners would they cut.

She told me, rather patronizingly, that she wasn't stupid. It was definitely clean - her friend had done it in his living room with the gun he bought on Amazon 😡 He needed the practice apparently so she'd volunteered. And his living room didn't look at all untidy.

She was a bit older than your daughter, so I couldn't blame anyone but her. But I was angry about it. Mostly because it was such a stupid decision.

She's older now and we can laugh about it (it's visible but fairly discreet. It's also terrible) but if she'd done something similar at 13 I'm not sure I'd react any different to you. The dad needed to be told - he needs to up his parenting