@pparrotonmyshoulder Our experience of having an asd assessment has been really positive. We had dd assessed last summer when she was 12. She had always been our awesome quirky girl and me and dp had chats about it over the years but as she was generally getting on okay we didn't pursue it. Then a combination of puberty hormones and starting secondary and things got so much more challenging for her.
As soon as we mentioned an asd assessment she was really keen to do it (one of her closest friends, who she is quite similar too had recently been diagnosed) and as soon as we mentioned it to her she just seemed more comfortable and confident.
Since then for her it's been nothing but positive, its helped her understand her challenges and that there is nothing wrong with her and that she is just a different neurotype. Actually I would say a majority of her close friends are neurodivergent (both diagnosed and undiagnosed) and it has become an important part of her identity and who she is. It's also given us more understanding.
It's really helped in school and although the senco isn't brilliant her head of year is and has been nothing but supportive which has been amazing as some days we are definitely boarding on school refusal and attendance this year hasn't been great.
Frequently now me and dp look at each other when she says something or something happens as now it's so obvious (some traits definitely more noticeable and think that's a combination of puberty and her just being comfortable in her own skin)
Didn't mean to write an essay but wanted to share our experience. Would also really recommend a book by Cathy Wassell called Nuturing your autistic young person. It's about supporting newly diagnosed teens
Good luck with whatever you choose to do