Just a friendly hand hold for any other mums of teens

[Pleasegivemeyourwisdom]

I've 3.

It's a 'journey'.

Just in case anyone wants to know another trying her best mum is thinking of them

So hard to know @AlwaysSomethingWithTeens

Sounds like anxiety if it happens a lot.

My dd is the same but it's tummy pain.

Yes. I wondered about anxiety. But she doesn't seem very worried about school - the opposite! She is bunged up - so probably has more of a case than last time.

Obviously I worried all day -and then she came home fine, chirpy and having had her best day for ages behaviour-wise... Maybe I should be Evil Mum more often...!!

@AlwaysSomethingWithTeens

Excellent

Hi, I’m at my wits end w my 12yr old son. He got home asked why is middle brother watching certain thing on iPad. I explained it was ok. He goes over and pushes him off his hoverboard causing him to fall and drop iPad. Brother picks it up & sets it down and 12yr old grabs it and runs off. I go and ask why he did all that and he goes off yelling complaining about his brother and how I don’t do anything to him and he didn’t push him etc. escalated to me trying to slap him for yelling shut up at me and him defending himself pushing me back. I took his ps5 controller away and he forcefully grabbed it back. Yelling how I am not fair. I walked out depressed and not knowing what to do or say. Husband is working out of town. Any advice?? How do I deal w him. I want to acknowledge his feelings but I feel like he will loose respect(more) for me. He’s not even an actual teen 😩

I just wanted to add my thoughts about waiting for them to go to uni. It doesn't stop then - they can still be hard fucking work 🙄

Morning

I just wanted to say I’m thinking of you all - as one mum of teens - to others.

knowing that this wee thread continues to be a meaningful thread to not just me, but others, definitely makes me feel I’m less alone!

I hope you have a good Friday x

Thanks @Pleasegivemeyourwisdom !!
i read / lurk everyday !!!
we continue to have an emotional rollercoaster with DD aged 15 -
but I’m feeling a little less strapped in and traumatised by the ride this term so far as she seems to be working on her regulation skills more effectively
best wishes to everyone ✊

@PixieAndProsecco - I second “not fine in school”. Does your DS do regular exercise? I have found boys like that really need to let off steam physically speaking. Did he ever do team sports like football? Did you ever try something like boxing/high intensity gym training? He needs to find something that he can control that is good for him and that will let him regain confidence in himself and who he is.

I have a 5.5 year gap between mine (they are 15 and nearly 21), so I am on nearly 8 years of the teens, with another 3 left to go. I feel like I have a Teenage Trouble Cliche bingo card and am crossing off every square.

No amazing words of wisdom from me except to take every win you can get - found an empty wine bottle in my youngest's room today (from last night, a weeknight, less than ideal) and one of her friends burned the garden furniture by stubbing a cigarette out on it - but HEY on the plus side she scraped all her GCSE mocks except one (after we cut down to 6 subjects), and ate breakfast this morning. I am a member of various parenting Facebook groups (teen mental health, home education (which we are having to do for our youngest who was not coping with school) and eating disorders, these are useful but they are making my Facebook feed very dark indeed!

One final note: I can highly recommend Sertraline (for yourselves!)

Hi all. DS home sick today (cold) - we've already had a big bust up because I told him no, he couldn't go to Tesco for a meal deal and no, he couldn't order Deliveroo (! - I mean WTF - we've never had Deliveroo!) - and could he do homework and thank you cards (post birthday) and not spend his whole time on bloody YouTube! Arggghhh. Sending solidarity to you all.

Hope you’re all doing okay. I go quiet on here when things are going well I think. We’re back to tears before and after school (started last week after two good weeks). There were some good periods over the weekend - DD and I did some chores together (tip run etc) then had lunch out. She joined in a family game. Sunday was a different picture and barely saw her - I think these days (where she’s in her room on her own) make her feel worse and less able to connect with others later, but she says she wants all that time to herself. I know it’s completely ‘normal’ but still no fun!
One week to get through before half term.

Ds at school ok today tho he is nervous as going on ski trip Friday. I'm worried he will panic.

Dd first week on her adhd meds and she hasn't got up today despite a good start over weekend. Very frustrating

@parrotonmyshoulder - we had a complete melt down about school last night (after told no more xBox - not unreasonably, we had agreed limits beforehand - which somewhat ruined his argument about school as he was fine before that) and this morning, and then a very subdued apology on the way out the door for being "rude, ungrateful and sad". I told him he never needs to be sorry for be sad and that we all love him very much and then added in my head "but you do need to be sorry for being a total dickhead". Sigh.

Compounded by him having insulin for breakfast and then refusing breakfast. I do hate that he can hold us to ransom over health like this, it's exhausting.

@HeBeaverandSheBeaver firstly, solidarity - that sounds like a really touch start to the week. Well done for DS going to school. He'll have a blast on the ski trip I'm sure. secondly - I'm intrigued by your username. Every time I see it I think of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. What's the actual reference?

Hello,
Joining thread for some solidarity and sanity.
Have been lurking for a while and a recent name change.
15 year old DD in GCSE year and some challenges.
She is seeing a counsellor for low self esteem, body image issues and low mood and is recently opening up to us which is great. However, I am struggling to find ways to help her lift her mood as every idea seems to be batted away.
Also worried she is slowly starting to refuse school. She isn't bullied there and has friends. I think she just finds the GCSEs a bit much (but refuses to consider college next year and wants the toughest set of A levels)

Dd gone to school
But say she feels
Dizzy. I imagine it the meds kicking in. Glad
We
Have
Half
Term
Coming.

Yes @Libre2
It's from Narnia

I wanted a narnia name
But
Every name
I tried was
Taken lol

Sending all my fellow parents a hug. I think you’re awesome 😁 (even if the kids don’t maybe?!)

DD gone to school after tears and drama. She has started saying she doesn't want to go to school recently.
Don't know how to react when she says that.
She is obviously ready to do but dawdle around seeking attention.
I think the reason is they are getting their GCSE mock results back and she doesn't want to face them.

@DarkChocHolic welcome to the group and sorry for the stressful situation at home.
I think you are on the right track with a counsellor seing your DD.

My DD13 was suffering with anxiety last year to the point she couldn't sleep at night. I was really worried about her. She started with a psychologist last September and was the best thing ever. DD still have moments of anxiety but is managing well. I have been to a couple of sessions and can see how the therapist ask her questions in a calm voice. She makes DD decide what changes she would introduce (instead of telling her what to do). Every week DD makes a small change and any small change has a big impact. And it adds up after a few weeks with many small doable changes.

I wish you all the best with your DD, hope her counselling starts working soon. 🌹

@girlswillbegirls
thank you for the reassuring message and for sharing your positive experience with counselling.
Glad your daughter is able to make progress with small changes at a time.
Think we all need that in our lives.

Oh i am so pleased i have found this thread.
Eldest is 13 and has always been so lovely but over the last few months have started to question whether i am an absolutely crap parent as have managed to raise a total arsehole.

Very little consideration for anyone else in the house and any and everything is everyone else's fault, rooms a tip, incapable of putting a plate in the dishwasher, so bloody sarcastic and on a mission to suck the joy out of any family activities.
There are still glimpse of our pre teen daughter thankfully but they are becoming few and far between.

Someone reassure me this is a phase and i haven't raised an absolute dickhead?

Ive been a social worker for over 20 years (mainly working with teens) I really should've been more prepared for this 😩

@Wellingtonwombles they are all dickheads. I am hoping it’s a phase…

Yup, they’re mostly just being teenage dickheads. You’re not alone in worrying that you’re raising a horror!

Hi @Wellingtonwombles -
yep I have a 15 dd
formerly known as my favourite person ever -
now ….. a source of stress / strife and sometimes vitriol!!!
yep, teens can be assholes !!
and it’s a comfort to hear that as a SW of many years experience of working with teens that you are feeling it too !!

i work in mental health and consider myself quite good ! But with my DD’s anxiety / body image issues / relationship difficulties- wow it’s a challenge !!!!