Does your teenager have a Saturday job?

[Anon778833]

My dd is 18 and she’ll be going to university this year. When I was a teenager, my parents expected me to have a a Saturday job to pay for things that I wanted and I had once consistently from age 16 to when I graduated university. My dd, although very academic and predicted very good A level results, is not at all keen to get any kind of job, ever. I love her dearly but she is lazy. She doesn’t lift a finger around the house either to help me and I’m concerned that she might not cope very well in the real world.

This is probably my fault. But I’m wondering whether cultural norms have changed so that teenagers don’t have part time jobs anyway?

Yes, all of ours were expected to get a job. One didn’t for long as it did interfere with their studies as they struggle.
The others wanted jobs.

One of my DCs got a paid part-time job at 16 yo. The other did more voluntary work in her chosen field which I believe helped her get offered her university place and ultimately made her more employable as she had work experience in her chosen career. Her Master's was funded as a direct result. As she was doing this, I didn't push her to earn money as I believed it was the work ethic that was the important aspect.

Yes ds1 has worked for sainsburys then screwfix.
I expect ds2 to get a job too.

DS has worked since he was 17, a Sunday morning job first then in fast food.
He's coming up to A levels tho and they were v unreasonable with his shifts (way too many hours per week despite him asking for a limit) and he left recently to start another weekend job which fits in well.
Over summer I expect he'll find a second job to save up for holiday/uni and pay for fuel for his car.

I found that students with jobs are far better organised and manage their time better so they are well able to keep up with school work.

My children had to get jobs if they wanted money. A work ethic was instilled in the from being very young.

i would agree, they had to/have to get up at 7 am on a Sunday and work from 8 until 11am and be very organised/develop people skills. I don’t believe this has had any impact on their study time or results

My DM had a rule that if you had a summer job (Saturday school meant no Saturday job) then you got your allowance continued over the summer…otherwise no allowance. It was a powerful motivator, would that work?

My son is 18 and doesn’t have a part time job. He’s doing A levels and his timetable doesn’t really give him any time weekdays, he doesn’t get home til 6pm. He studies and has a driving lesson at weekends. He works in the summer but not throughout the rest of the year. He gets an allowance from us, he has a good attitude so we’re happy with that.

My dd1 had a job in Maccy'sat 16 and then went on to get a bar/waitress job at 18 when she went to uni. She's given this up now as she's in the upper part of her art degree which is 40 hrs a week studio time. We've agreed to fund her through 3rd and 4th yea4 (Scotland).

My ds is 20 and didn't know what he wanted to do at 18, so he tried an art portfolio course and when that didn't work he got a job as a home carer. And he bloody loved it and now at 20 he's about to start his nursing degree. Still working in care, but a different setting.

Dd2 is 18 and a college student doing an HND in beauty therapies. She left school at 16 and did the NC (Scottish equivalent of our highers) in beauty and got right on to the HND. She started working in a salon when she turned 17 and does 2 days a week 5here, more shifts in the holidays.

All of them still help around the house when they're here (dd1 lives with her boyfriend now, ds and dd2 still at home at the moment. We don't give out any money except on exceptional circumstances. We buy toiletries as part of the house shop, but clothes, shoes, holidays, going out are their own problem.

No, I don’t take offence - you’re right. I’m quite worried tbh. The thing is, she gets money from her dad and as I say we aren’t together.

My parents were emotionally abusive, so I’ve always been scared to say anything that will hurt my kids feelings.

My lot did odd jobs for pocket money aged 12ish
car washing,working at the local b&b,clearing snow and odd jobs for neighbours etc
paper rounds as they got older
all got Saturday jobs as they got to about 16 and all work full time now

my stepdaughter has never had a job-just bums about sponging from everyone until they get sick of her and she moves onto the next person

i firmly believe jobs make them grow up and value money

15 yo doesn’t yet have a job, but it’s because I wanted him to prioritise good study habits while doing his GCSE equivalents. I didn’t want him distracted by the demands of a Saturday job. I figure once he has study routines well embedded, and sees the link between that and good grades then he can add a part time job on.

he does very actively help around the house, and barely spends money at all (he’s been on the same allowance for 10 years now)

DC 1 works at JD sports and DC 2 in a pizza place. Both from 16.
They are also qualified football referees at £22 an hour!

My 17 year old has worked since she was 15. There is absolutely no way any of my children aren't getting a part time job from around that age. I think the benefits are massive to them.

Yes, both my teenagers had Saturday jobs during their A level years.

Yes my now 15 year old has had a paper round and a pot washin job. She's 16 soon and has been offered a waitressing job which she starts in few weeks.
My 18 year old didn't due to covid but got a job at 17 the week after lockdown waitressing and now works for a well known clothes shop weekends and 2 evenings a week.

Both mine got a job at 16 and literally all their friends did too.

Does she ever cook a meal for the family?

Being an abusive parent intent on hurt and being an honest parent speaking from the heart are not the same thing.

My ds (16)is also a football referee. Gets £25 or £30 per match! Doesn't interfere with school work as doesnt take too long.

I know that but I think I went the other way. She does cook meals occasionally.

All four of mine have worked. Youngest DS is currently 17 and has worked from 14 every weekend from Easter and all through the holidays. We live in a tourist area. All his friends work. There is plenty of work for teens - not so much for adults.

It's also rural and socially deprived, so teens need to drive. They are all pretty aware that if you don't work, then you can't afford driving lessons, or a car - and without that you're stuck. The culture round here is to work. It's expected. They work so they can afford to get away.

My DS worked from age 14. Refereeing junior football matches to begin with and then as soon as he was old enough at the local Wetherspoons collecting glasses and washing up until he was old enough to serve behind the bar.

He was lucky enough to be gifted money from various family members towards some driving lessons and his first car (he funded the rest from his earnings) but was only allowed to buy a car when he could afford to run it himself.

There is no way on earth he would have been allowed to sit on his backside and let me fund his luxuries (I bought him the basics but money for nights out and designer gear had to be earned) and sulking would certainly not have worked with me.

His work ethic served him well though university and when it came to fighting for his year out placement in a difficult market he was able to demonstrate that he was a grafter and aced it.

I too was on my own so being a lone parent really doesn’t cut it as an excuse. Anyone can raise an entitled brat if they choose to - sorry if that sounds harsh - and you and your ex need to give her a wake-up call and teach her that earning what you need and want for yourself rather than having it handed on a plate actually feels really good.