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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Does your teenager have a Saturday job?

128 replies

Anon778833 · 10/05/2022 17:40

My dd is 18 and she’ll be going to university this year. When I was a teenager, my parents expected me to have a a Saturday job to pay for things that I wanted and I had once consistently from age 16 to when I graduated university. My dd, although very academic and predicted very good A level results, is not at all keen to get any kind of job, ever. I love her dearly but she is lazy. She doesn’t lift a finger around the house either to help me and I’m concerned that she might not cope very well in the real world.

This is probably my fault. But I’m wondering whether cultural norms have changed so that teenagers don’t have part time jobs anyway?

OP posts:

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 10/05/2022 18:30

Ds did two years of weekly volunteering at Oxfam and then when he was 16 he got a Saturday job.

SnowWhitesSM · 10/05/2022 18:32

My dd is 16, yr 11. Predicted very good GCSE grades. Has a pot wash job in a local pub kitchen. Does chores around the house, does her own washing. Why have you let your dd get away with being so lazy?

manysummersago · 10/05/2022 18:32

Unconditional offers or not, I really don’t think mid May when her A levels are about to start is maybe the time to push this.

In our sixth form, some have jobs and some don’t. The ones without tend to get better A levels.

Blanketpolicy · 10/05/2022 18:33

ds(18) has his last school exam this week (Scotland) and just started his first "Saturday" job last week. I didn't push him to get one earlier as I didn't want it to be a distraction to studying, but if he had wanted to go for one I wouldn't have stopped him.

He needed a nudge to apply and was terrified very nervous about it, but is now working 3 x 4-5hr shifts (and anymore he can get) a week to build up some funds from now until he starts uni in September, then he will try to either keep the job or find another but with less hours as he is keen to avoid taking out more of a student loan than he needs to. Most of his friends and my nieces and their friends have all either picked up PT jobs in the last few months, or are actively looking.

He also helps around the house, keeps his own room tidy, does his own laundry including bedding, does the recycling/dishwasher and any other chores/errands asked without only the occasional grumble. I don't envy you trying to get a grumpy teen into the habit of being helpful and contributing now! You could sell it as a "now you are an adult" type thing you need to contribute or find somewhere else to live.

Andsoyedid · 10/05/2022 18:36

Yes my almost 16 year old has a job waitressing and kitchen prep at the local cafe beside the local paddling pool. Works at least one long day at the weekend and maybe a couple hours after school. My oldest was the same at that age and as he is 24 , now has decent full time job. Myself and my husband came from families were we were expected to get a wee part time job to get us through school, college etc

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 10/05/2022 18:37

I work in a supermarket, there are often 16-18 year olds working there at weekends.

SE13Mummy · 10/05/2022 18:38

DD is in Y12, does a fair amount of babysitting, has a zero hours weekend job which fits in well with school work and also earns money from giving music lessons.

Original poster

Anon778833 · 10/05/2022 18:38

manysummersago · 10/05/2022 18:32

Unconditional offers or not, I really don’t think mid May when her A levels are about to start is maybe the time to push this.

In our sixth form, some have jobs and some don’t. The ones without tend to get better A levels.

Well, no. That ship has sailed anyway. I was just trying to gauge how usual this has been. It’s too late now, of course.

I will suggest she gets a summer job after she finishes her last exam.

OP posts:

CMOTDibbler · 10/05/2022 18:39

Mine is 16 in a couple of weeks and doesn't - partly as COVID rather put the kibosh on the plans, and partly as he has sport on weekend mornings. He will be working for his DF this summer though, and may be doing that every holiday in the future

toomuchlaundry · 10/05/2022 18:39

DS(17) works in the evenings at the weekends at a hotel, now in his second year. Hospitality are crying out for workers, she should be able to get a job easily.

toomuchlaundry · 10/05/2022 18:41

Is she expecting you to top up her university loans, or is she paying in full due to trust funds etc?

Groovee · 10/05/2022 18:42

My Dd had 2 jobs from age 16 while still at school. She worked in a hotel doing breakfast or dinner or weddings. She also had a job at the local football club on match days. She then worked in the hotel during holidays from uni and got a club job at uni. She took up working in a care home over covid and still does it in holidays.

Ds is 19 and works in the local Carvery on the bar. He does restaurant shifts too.

They both got jobs as I didn’t have endless pots of cash to support them.

AledsiPad · 10/05/2022 18:45

My eldest is 15 and has been working for a while - albeit with his father.

DS2 is 14 and has been asking recently when/where he can get a job as he really wants to work. He’s a saver and has a fair bit in the bank from pocket money, but he doesn’t spend much so he just wants to save even more. Somehow I truly don’t know how we’ve raised him to want to have a really decent nest egg. Unfortunately it seems nigh on impossible to find even a waiting/pot washing job locally until they’re 16. The only available option is a paper round, but they’re paid horrendously - I’d rather pay him to babysit once a week myself!

He’ll have a job within a week of his 16th birthday at this rate he does also volunteer with cadets, DofE etc.

I had a Saturday job from 14, cleaning pubs was my first. Absolutely grim, but it was certainly an experience!

Original poster

Anon778833 · 10/05/2022 18:46

SnowWhitesSM · 10/05/2022 18:32

I struggle with some aspects of discipline due to being on the spectrum. I think if her dad and I had still been together this may have been easier.

OP posts:

Andsoyedid · 10/05/2022 18:48

Op I wouldn't suggest she gets a part time job after her last exams , I would tell her! It shouldn't be a negotiable thing!
My DD also walks the dogs , hoovers, hangs out washings and irons. She has her GCSEs and I will cut her some slack but young people need to learn these skills. She gives me half of what she earns to put away in a credit union for her holidays

Hyvsvaar · 10/05/2022 18:52

Yes from 15yrs
ds1 has passed the baton to ds2 as he has Alevel exams now and ds2 who is 15 also has a dog walking job which is great to peel him away from gaming

however this could also be in response that they don’t get pocket money unless they do chores (dishwasher etc is not chores) I mean cutting grass/washing cars/ etc and the can choose to or not

SnowWhitesSM · 10/05/2022 18:53

Get some parenting support/books and classes then OP.

I don't mean that horribly, I was 17 and straight out of foster care with CPTSD when I had my dd. I learnt on the job.

After exams explain that you will only be supporting her financially whilst she is looking for a job. That means getting up early, going to the job centre, handing CVs out, being an adult. Or you'll be enabling her to live off of you. It won't help her, you'll be stunting her growth.

GingeryLemons · 10/05/2022 18:55

I'm in a terrible position with my 19yo who has refused to do anything at all and won't leave her room except for takeaway deliveries. She has signed on for UC so can fund this herself. I hope you don't end up in my position, OP, because I have no idea what to do.

viques · 10/05/2022 18:57

I think Saturday/ weekend jobs are really important! They teach kids so many values, plus the money you earn is valued more than the money you are given .

They also teach you that some jobs are hard, boring, relentless graft with little emotional reward - and often don’t pay well - so it is well worth persisting with study and qualifications so you don’t end up doing one of them for ever. When I think of relatives children (and my own) the ones who are doing well are the ones who stuck at Saturday/ weekend and holiday jobs and learned how to work.

The ones who aren’t doing well , and not doing well in many ways not just employment, are the ones who didn’t have jobs when younger and are sadly lacking in motivation and application.

Hyvsvaar · 10/05/2022 18:58

You be a meeny and trip the fuse switch so there is no electricit…or if that’s too far I recommend an app that allows you to control wifi to selected devices

BlackAndPinkNose · 10/05/2022 18:58

DD (18) has over the years done babysitting / dog sitting / a paper round / worked in a pop up food place / done wedding waitressing and now works two short shifts a weekend in a shop, plus picks up extra in the holidays.

It is amazing how much more careful she is with her own money than she is with mine!

user1487194234 · 10/05/2022 18:58

Mine had Saturday jobs once they had done their Highers (Scotland )
I didn’t want them working before that
One played sport on a Saturday and I was happy for him to continue that
All did basic jobs in the house

Threetulips · 10/05/2022 18:59

At 16 DD worked 3 jobs - Saturday’s shop girl, Sunday waitress, summer job in a department store. Currently 18 and works parts in a shop round A levels and evenings - usually a Friday in a bar.

DD 17 works in a bakery on Saturday’s and does evenings in a catering Van when needed for events or parties etc.

DS17 works as part of his coarse for college, 3 days a week and then has a par time job lumping bouncy castles about that one is £25 an hour including time spent in the van.

They can do it.

DD is about to go to Uni, she has shop work, bar work and waitressing experience and will work for her fun money.

MermaidEyes · 10/05/2022 19:00

In our sixth form, some have jobs and some don't. The ones without tend to get better A Levels

That's interesting. Our sixth form tell all students at the start of year 12 they would rather they didn't get part time jobs as they've found in the past those students with jobs don't spend as much time on their studying, and subsequently don't get the results they would like.

AutumnOrange · 10/05/2022 19:01

My dd got a job at Dominos as soon as she turned 16. I am a single parent and she knows I can’t afford all kind of extras. She also helps out a lot at home and goes to college. My son didn’t get a job until he was 22 🙄 he didn’t ‘need’ to because he got a substantial inheritance when he was 18 that enabled him to get through uni but in hindsight he regrets that he didn’t do the ‘teenage job’ thing because it isn’t just about money. It’s about discipline and a good work ethic.

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