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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Should my working daughter pay rent?

160 replies

Jemilina · 04/03/2022 16:11

My 17-year-old daughter is working full time. Last year she was in college and I spent a lot of time supporting her, but she really struggled. I agreed with her decision to leave college but I told her my expectation was she would find a job and pay us some rent. At the time she agreed. I would like her to pay £100 a month. She is refusing. My mum thinks I'm wrong to ask her for rent. A couple of good friends think my expectation is fine. My daughter does very little around the house. Am I reasonable to expect this or not?

OP posts:
drawingpad · 07/03/2022 10:26

@PleaseDontDriveMeBlind

Idk what you would do if they weren't. You can't force her to quit the job either. It's her decision to make. If what she's chosen isn't legally right, the most you could do is punish her I suppose.

Punish a 17 year old for having a full time job?

RockinHorseShit · 07/03/2022 10:29

£100 pm Shock you're a mug

Unless saving for & can be trusted to save for Uni as our teen is doing. Ofc she should be paying rent. My DD was told that she will be expected to pay a 1/3 of her wage, up to the amount that's 20% less than the local going rate for her room, which would be around £80pw, not month

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 07/03/2022 10:33

It’s the employers at fault not your daughter. Putting them through qualifications is expensive so lots of firms don’t bother. But they are essentially breaking the law.

Someone up thread was trying to tell me they could leave school at 16. The school leaving age was raised to 17 about 20 years ago under the Blair government.

Comefromaway · 07/03/2022 10:34

Training does not have to include any actual qualification, it could be an in house training programme.

PleaseDontDriveMeBlind · 07/03/2022 10:38

Punish a 17 year old for having a full time job?

Well, exactly. My point is there isn't really anything you can do that would be reasonable.

PleaseDontDriveMeBlind · 07/03/2022 10:40

The school leaving age was raised to 17 about 20 years ago under the Blair government.

10 years ago I was 17 and I wasn't in education, work, or any training. It's not that enforceable.

PleaseDontDriveMeBlind · 07/03/2022 10:40

Should read 16Confused

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 07/03/2022 10:46

Then you were a NEET.

drawingpad · 07/03/2022 10:49

Someone up thread was trying to tell me they could leave school at 16.

That might have been me, because you can in Scotland. You referred to England as the UK, which is tiresome.

PleaseDontDriveMeBlind · 07/03/2022 10:52

Then you were a NEET

Yes? I was. The point I was making is despite laws about leaving ages, nothing actually happens to force the person to comply.

Thethingswedoforlove · 07/03/2022 10:54

I would agree to the £75 but say it will rise to £100 per month when she is 18. And save it for her if you are able to (without her knowing). If she doesn’t like that at the age of 18 she could look
To move out. Which might help her to see what good value £100 per
Month really is.

Lou98 · 07/03/2022 10:56

Personally I think £75 at 17 is fair enough - she's 17, I don't think it's the same as an adult child living at home contributing to the bills.

When is she 18? Is it soon or is she just turned 17? I'd probably reassess then but you've said that she is saving her money and that you don't need the money so I think a token amount if you want to is fine but at 17 in my opinion, she shouldn't need to contribute to house bills.

However - she should absolutely be doing more around the house. That should be non negotiable, she's more than able to do her fair share of housework/cooking etc

Lou98 · 07/03/2022 11:00

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

The uk leaving age is 18. She can’t just leave education and get a job until she is 18.

In Scotland you can leave school at 16 - the UK is not just England

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 07/03/2022 11:03

Sorry for being tiresomeConfused

I was using my experience of living in England. Where it is 18.

Was the op Scottish?

Comefromaway · 07/03/2022 11:04

Except it is perfectly legal to get a full time job at the age of 16 (or ore specifically after the last Friday in June of Year 11) as the being taught how to do the job in house counts as training.

LuvMyBubbles · 07/03/2022 11:04

I would ask her to leave if she refuses. Your house your rules

drawingpad · 07/03/2022 11:06

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Sorry for being tiresomeConfused

I was using my experience of living in England. Where it is 18.

Was the op Scottish?

It was the 'in the UK' when what you actually meant was 'in England' that's tiresome, not that you drew on your own country experience, I did the same.

OP hasn't said which country.

Amichelle84 · 07/03/2022 11:08

I think that's fine - if she wants to be an adult she should contribute like one.

I studied and had a PT job and gave my mum money to help with house bills.

Lou98 · 07/03/2022 11:12

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow no idea as she hasn't said but no point arguing that the "UK" leaving age is 17/18 when it isn't everywhere and you don't know if it where the OP is

emmsyg · 07/03/2022 11:33

When I was 16 and had already got the highers (Scotland) required for Uni, I decided to take a year out and work full time instead of going back to school for a 6th year. I earned around £3 an hour and paid my mum £250 a month in digs, and didn't feel hard done by (I also saved around £2500 that year too, those were the days!). I'm now nearly 40 and have always been good with budgeting and monthly bills and I think paying into a household from when I began working really contributed to that. So I'd be in the camp of saying she should be contributing, and that £100 is probably a really good deal for her!

snocopops · 07/03/2022 15:00

Yes she should pay, it's a nominal amount and will giver and appreciation that things have be paid for.
If it helps I paid the same amount to my mum in 1992!

FloBot7 · 07/03/2022 15:23

@PleaseDontDriveMeBlind

it is the same as not teaching them to cook, use a washing machine

I wasn't taught to do those things. As an adult, I know how to do them and actually can cook very well. You just look up recipes online and how to do them, or read the washing machine instructions. Idk why you would need to be actually taught by your parents, it's not some obscure knowledge that isn't readily available online.

The first time I encountered a washing machine was in the laundry room of a backpacking hostel. No instructions to be found. I had to ask someone for help Blush
PleaseDontDriveMeBlind · 07/03/2022 16:05

The first time I encountered a washing machine was in the laundry room of a backpacking hostel. No instructions to be found. I had to ask someone for help blush

Oh no! I think the first time was when I was was in supported accomodation but it seemed to work on tokens like at the launderette so it wasn't too bad and the staff showed you when you moved in. I think if you have internet available, then it's quite easy to search for a normal watching machine, e.g. which bit is for powder or conditioner etc. When I moved in with my first boyfriend, I had to use Google to search for his brand of machine just to double-check things. I'm not sure what they are like in backpacking accom, but then I am not the type to go backpacking Grin

Benjispruce5 · 07/03/2022 17:08

I paid £100 pm in 1995. I’d agree to £75 for 6 months, increasing to £100 after that .

FloBot7 · 07/03/2022 17:38

@PleaseDontDriveMeBlind It was back in 2004 before smartphones were a thing. The nearest place to Google was an Internet cafe and YouTube had just been created so was just full of animal videos too 😂