I disgust my DD

[thinlyv]

Light hearted... sat watching tv with DD15 & she dry heaved.. 'what's wrong?' I ask. 'You, you're so cringey'. I'm literally sat here doing nothing. WTAF.

@elelel

I couldn't relate to this at all, out of nowhere. I don't buy into the 'all teens go through this' stage either. They don't. It was a horrible thing to say to you and she could do with learning manners and respect.

I don't get it either, my kids were never, ever rude as teenagers. My mum always spoke to me like a person and never in a childish voice. I seem to have done the same with mine, and there is respect all round.

I have a 26 year old daughter and a 19 year old daughter. I don't get it because we are never this rude and hurtful to each other. My daughter's at no point would go out of their way to upset me, no more than I would them. We love and support each other, make each other laugh but never say hurtful things to each other. Just saying it is lighthearted does not make it so.

@Silverswirl I have teenagers. They don’t speak to me like that .

you need to stich her up when she is with her friends

Give the op a break. Children are their own people and they all behave differently. Just because your kids didn't say something to your face, doesn't mean they didn't say and do all sorts behind your back!

I have an 18 year old who as young for her years, hasn’t quite come out the other side yet. So, having recently purchased a Tesla, I completely live up to my ‘embarrassing’ self and when summoned to pick her up from her part time job (because full time hours are soooooo not great for her mental wellbeing 🙄, give me strength!), I sooth myself by playing the various horn sounds through the external speakers into the retail car park…La Cacarucha, fart sounds, applause and ‘tada’ to name a few. I’m hoping she’ll stop asking soon…..

[quote FAQs]@thinlyv you should start using slang words and she will think you are ‘proper cringe like’ I told my daughter she looked Peng as she was leaving the house one morning, she didn’t know what to say and couldn’t stop laughing and asked where I’d heard it that was proper cringe apparently.[/quote]
You can add bear or maybe bare???? to the word peng as in bear/bare peng. Apparently it means something is really good. I like to unleash that one now and again. My sons are late 20s now so I am no longer completely embarrassing. I should try harder.

i always get confused when i hear about/ see teenagers acting horrible to parents looking back 10 years ago when i was a teen i woukdnt have dreamt of talking to my mum with such disrespect

@GreenLunchBox

Well you obviously find it acceptable so probably have modelled this type of behaviour at some point

What a snarky thing to say.

"My work here is done" and sweep out.

That level of disrespect is unacceptable to/from anyone.

The question you really need to be asking yourself is how she’s been able to develop that way of talking to people…and if there’s anything you can do about it.

I suspect underpinning it all is some deep-seated self-insecurity, which may be a sign of something much worse and damaging.

Either way, you’re abrogating your responsibility as a parent and role model if you leave that sort of explicit behaviour unchallenged.

It depends on your relationship and humour. Me and teens have insults as part of banter. I can tell the difference easily, but dh sometimes takes it too seriously

Oh gosh, I really don’t get the judgment on here!
I’m fully expecting the same with my daughter! She’s not yet a teen, but I caught her studying my face last week and asked her what was wrong. She explained she was just thinking how old my skin looked. I personally found it quite funny and told her that I blame the ageing effects of children.

@Sideswiped

'tis fine, OP. Just remember to tell her that being embarrassing is in the job description for parents... Many years ago I had taken my teen DCs into Marks and Sparks for some sandwiches for lunch during a shopping trip. They'd been squabbling the whole time. I was so fed up I informed them (loudly) that I was seriously considering buying a picnic bottle of wine and necking it in the car on the way home.... They shut up (from embarrassment which was the whole point) - and the man who was standing next to me had to pick his jaw up from the floor!

I discovered this trick only this week. Talking loudly shuts them up very quickly.

My DD is currently not speaking to me as 'I'm controlling her eating' as I told her yesterday she was unable to eat two packets of crisps in a day.

The problem is it doesn't matter that OP says it's light hearted, she has described a horrible situation that isn't light hearted.

I'll correct that for you.......
Due to the fact you don't share the same sense of humour as the OP, then you don't find it light hearted.

As you'll see from reading several of the posts, there are a lot of parents here who do.
OP made it abundantly clear what she is saying

It depends on your relationship and humour. Me and teens have insults as part of banter. I can tell the difference easily, but dh sometimes takes it too seriously
This ^

Dry heaving at your parent out of nowhere isn't banter. Banter is a back and forth exchange. Dry heaving and calling your parent cringy for no reason is downright rude.

Ffs OP my dd 16 can be absolutely lovely then the next day something awful to me! A lot of my friends with similar aged kids say the same thing!

People being waaaaayyy to harsh on you.

Having said that o do sometimes lose my shit with her and put her in her place

Jeez even my adorable soon to be teenage DS 12 says some wicked things!

"I'm literally sat here doing nothing."

Therein lies your problem, OP. As the mother of a 16 year old DD, I can tell you - with the great authority that comes from my extra year's worth of experience - that you were not in fact doing nothing but were in fact daring to breathe. Just don't do it again and you'll be fine .

@topcat2014

Do what I did.. get a job at her secondary school with an office next to her form room....:)

Haha! I did that...got a job at DD's secondary school prior to her starting and was there for the duration (I'm not a clingy mum at all...there was a financial/practical need to change job and it happened to come up at the right time).

She did a magnificent job of not associating with me during school hours...she was half way through Year 8 before some of her teachers knew I was her mum .

You gave me a good laugh @thinlyv! I can imagine my DD13 doing very similar. I never thought I'd be so proud of how much I embarrass her, it's amazing that I don't even have to try! I think I'm pretty cool. She definitely doesn't.

@Mischance

Sometimes it is best to laugh! - really.

Telling her she is being rude is a waste of time - she already knows that!

Give it time. I had 3 DDs and they all got through this phase and are a true delight now.

Mischance this post is far too sensible for Mumsnet

@elelel

I couldn't relate to this at all, out of nowhere. I don't buy into the 'all teens go through this' stage either. They don't. It was a horrible thing to say to you and she could do with learning manners and respect.

Yep exactly this. I wouldn't tolerate it from my kids. We have to treat each other like people with feelings in this house and if one of ours did that they would be told it was rude, cruel and unacceptable.

@GreenLunchBox

Well you obviously find it acceptable so probably have modelled this type of behaviour at some point

People in glass houses.

Op ignore the sense of humour failures...

My son is only 5 and he ALREADY thinks I am embarrassing.

Obviously he gets put in time out / privileges taken away for rudeness, but sometimes it is all I can do not to laugh out loud.

I get eye rolls from my 4 year old I dread to think what's to come