Page 6 | Teen stealing food

foodthief · 2021-09-05T16:47:16+00:00

Hoping others may have some advice. My 17 yo DSD is constantly taking food without asking. Every time we buy a pack of biscuits it has vanished within a week (I've stopped buying them). Now she has eaten a whole box of cereal bars in the space of two days, and has also been helping herself to sweets. Even when we catch her red handed (either in the cupboard in the process of taking it, or because she leaves the wrappers lying around on her bed), she vehemently denies taking anything. To make matters worse she has type 1 diabetes, so constant snacking isn't great for her. She always says she needed it as her blood sugars went low, but when we check her data we can see that is a lie. Thing is, DH and I don't mind if she wants a biscuit with her cup of tea of an evening if she asks. My DS and other DSD both always ask before they take anything. I don't think we'd car if it was just occasionally but this is literally 3-4 items being taken every day. Anyone got any ideas? I'm at the point where I'm genuinely considering a lock on the kitchen door!

Username817391920384747 · 05/09/2021 20:19

Since when was taking food from your own home “stealing”

dopeyduck · 05/09/2021 20:19

She's 17 not 2! Why would she need to ask to eat, this is odd.
Absolutely have a word if she's scoffing everyone's share of food unfairly or munching away on lunchbox items etc that are allocated out but so what if she's eating biscuits / cereal bars etc.

dopeyduck · 05/09/2021 20:22

I've just read 'we say yes 90% of the time' so 10% of the time you deny your almost adult daughter something to eat in her own home. I find this really strange.

Skyla2005 · 05/09/2021 20:23

@CovidCrow

Stealing? Jeez I've got teenagers and they are constantly eating. It's not stealing is it, it's their home

If she's still hungry after meals get her some healthy snacks in so she can help herself and when they're gone they're gone. If she wants anymore she can buy them herself, that'll help her self regulate too.

This. I found your post really strange op. You talk about your daughter like she's some kind of lodger in your house. Most kids this age just take what they want. It's not stealing it's their home !! Unbelievable

LoislovesStewie · 05/09/2021 21:06

@WreckTangled

Lois in that situation the biscuit/toast isn't being used as a hypo treatment, it's being used to keep the blood levels stable after the hypo; this needs to be done if on insulin injections but not on a pump (usually). Treating a hypo with a biscuit is dangerous as it doesn't work quick enough hence why it needs to be fast acting carbs such as jelly babies/juice/dextrose.

I know, my son uses a pump and a continuous blood sugar meter ; he has had type 1 diabetes for over 20 years. I am merely pointing out that people who have hypos will need sugar/carbs if having a hypo. We aren't told if she is having lots of hypos or low blood sugars, so I was asking if that was the case. My son's monitor starts to beep if he is getting low, NOT at the point he is hypo but when falling, so he does have a biscuit to raise glucose levels. It doesn't act quickly but prevents his glucose falling to the hypo level, in much the same way he will have something sweet or carbs before exercise.

WreckTangled · 05/09/2021 21:20

Lois I said a biscuit isn't a suitable hypo treatment and I stand by that (you said 'biscuits are ok too'). Having a biscuit to avoid a hypo is different. OP said they checked her data and she wasn't hypo, that she was fibbing. I expect eating loads of biscuits and cereal bars means she's having horrendous rollercoaster levels though.

Fauvist · 05/09/2021 21:33

@CovidCrow

Yes, I have a teenager and a husband who does a really physical job (and as a consequence eats quite a lot).

@steppemum

I counted the biscuits left in the half pack of chocolate digestives and there are 11. It's probably a bit less than half the packet remaining. I'd guess 25 in the full pack. Maybe my packets of biscuits are unusually large.

Maybe as a family we eat a lot fewer biscuits than normal or something. I'm just surprised that so many people eat what seem to me large quantities of them.

honeygriff · 05/09/2021 21:47

I've got a rather lovely type 1 adult DSS, he doesn't live with us. However he has his own snacks & jelly babies available for hypos at our house for when he's here (and if he runs out at home). He's eaten me out of house and home in the past (he had to replenish the glycogen stores in his liver). I'm always happy to support him in any way I can as he needs extra support even though he's an adult now as it's really tough being type 1. Hypo's are very different for everyone and some people feel them at different blood sugar readings than others. Even if it's not a clinical hypo doesn't mean she's not symptomatic. You should have hypo supplies that are just for her. The diabetic nurses that he had when he was younger said he had to have his own box of snacks at each parents house. We've always been very involved with his blood sugar levels and we will try to work out what's gone wrong and learn from it. I am so proud of how he's handled his diabetes because it's been really hard for him and he never moans unlike his type 2 SM!

WreckTangled · 06/09/2021 05:37

@honeygriff

I've got a rather lovely type 1 adult DSS, he doesn't live with us. However he has his own snacks & jelly babies available for hypos at our house for when he's here (and if he runs out at home). He's eaten me out of house and home in the past (he had to replenish the glycogen stores in his liver). I'm always happy to support him in any way I can as he needs extra support even though he's an adult now as it's really tough being type 1. Hypo's are very different for everyone and some people feel them at different blood sugar readings than others. Even if it's not a clinical hypo doesn't mean she's not symptomatic. You should have hypo supplies that are just for her. The diabetic nurses that he had when he was younger said he had to have his own box of snacks at each parents house. We've always been very involved with his blood sugar levels and we will try to work out what's gone wrong and learn from it. I am so proud of how he's handled his diabetes because it's been really hard for him and he never moans unlike his type 2 SM!

You sound lovely. You clearly understand the ravenous hunger someone gets when their hypo, and how we feel a compulsion to eat the whole kitchen even though it's the worst thing you can do

so hard to control!

liveforsummer · 06/09/2021 07:05

Why isn't she allowed to have food? My 8 and 11 year old help themselves to snacks. A pack of biscuits in a week is nothing. You sound controlling

liveforsummer · 06/09/2021 07:06

You sound lovely. You clearly understand the ravenous hunger someone gets when their hypo, and how we feel a compulsion to eat the whole kitchen even though it's the worst thing you can do so hard to control!

It doesn't even sound like this is what's happening though. One packet of biscuits in a week or cereal bars (4-6 in a packet) over a few days is far from ravenous for any teen.

Marmelace · 06/09/2021 07:08

Does you tightness concerning snacks extend to mealtimes too. If so, are you sure she isn't hungry?

Marmelace · 06/09/2021 07:09

Your not you!

cricketmum84 · 06/09/2021 07:10

This is a really strange attitude to have towards a teen. How is it stealing when it's their home??

I think maybe it's you who has the issues OP.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 06/09/2021 07:11

When I opened this thread, I genuinely thought that it was going to involve a teenager stealing from a supermarket or similar. Not eating food in their own home.

The problem is definitely not with your DSD, in case that's not abundantly clear from the replies on this thread already.

PumpkinPatch21 · 06/09/2021 07:15

A whole pack of biscuits in a week? I'd understand if it was every day....
I do find it strange how you deny your grown up 17 year old daughter food ten percent of the time... surely she's old enough to decide when she's hungry and when to eat? It's hardly stealing from her own home! Maybe relax on being militant with food.. that's how you start Eating disorders off.

WreckTangled · 06/09/2021 07:30

@liveforsummer

You sound lovely. You clearly understand the ravenous hunger someone gets when their hypo, and how we feel a compulsion to eat the whole kitchen even though it's the worst thing you can do so hard to control!

It doesn't even sound like this is what's happening though. One packet of biscuits in a week or cereal bars (4-6 in a packet) over a few days is far from ravenous for any teen.

I agree, OP already said dsd was lying about being hypo, I was just replying to the previous poster.

liveforsummer · 06/09/2021 07:44

Also OP diabetics don't just need carbs when already in hypo. In the care plan of the dc with diabetes I look after she has a 15g carb snack - usually a couple of biscuits- if she reads under 7 before any activity. That's no where near a hypo.

MrsSkylerWhite · 06/09/2021 07:48

She isn’t stealing food. She’s an almost adult member of the family, though still growing, who is eating when she’s hungry.
At 17, I was hungry all the time and ate at least twice as much as I do now.

You are the unreasonable party here, not your daughter.

lotsofdogshere · 06/09/2021 07:49

Controlling or what?! 7 year olds need to ask if they can have biscuits - 17 year olds, they can decide for themselves

MrsSkylerWhite · 06/09/2021 07:50

(We don’t mind her having a biscuit with her evening cup of tea. What a weird statement. I’d be seriously peed off if people were monitoring my every mouthful, diabetic or not: my husband is diabetic, wouldn’t dream of telling him what to eat).

jozipozi31 · 06/09/2021 07:57

catch her red-handed

I feel so sorry for her.

@foodthief your approach to this is more than out-dated. It does not feel right at all. She is not 'stealing' or a 'thief'. She is not a dog.

And it made me feel like crying to read that if she says she had a snack because her sugar was low, her actual bio data is then checked to see if she's telling the truth. Omg. I would literally be running away if I was her.

It sounds worse than prison.

Please go snd talk to your gp or something
to get some guidance on how you as a step mother should best be approaching the issue of food and snacking with a type 1 teenage step daughter. Please.

She has a lot to deal with in terms of the diabetes. Often there will be a rebellion and shag can be dangerous bingeing. She needs to talk to someone too.

But words like 'steal' and 'thief' are unacceptable. Just terrible. Please stop framing it like this.

Magenta82 · 06/09/2021 08:00

This is horrible!

Are you trying to cause eating disorders, binging, guilt, shame and an overall unhealthy relationship with food and resentment towards yourself?

Because this kind of control around food is only going to lead to that.

mandyjrs · 19/08/2024 17:37

I am shocked at how so many people are ignoring the fact that this kid has type 1 diabetes....of course her mom is worried about her eating biscuits . Educate yourselves about what may happen if the child eats a lot of carbs. I think this sort of problem with teens taking charge of their diabetes and what they eat and when they do their bloods etc is common. It is hard enough being a teen adjusting to your body changes. Teens just want to fir into their tribe. It is both a self-harming behavior and a rebellious f* you! and a form of comfort. I don;t think that forbidding her is working....she just feels she has to steal it, which takes away any emotional nourishment.
Could you talk together about what it's like for her to have to have a long-term chronic and dangerous health condition? Is she scared of having a bad hypo/dying? In a bizarre way, eating high carb foods is a way of being in charge of this. I also wonder if the strict control of food like biscuits by you is about your anxiety, which she really doesnt want to know about or deal with.
I have n o answers....just think you have a really tough and ongoing issue to deal with. And it's natural to feel really scared about it. Perhaps the two of you could begin to deal with it together instead of becoming polarized around her eating. Best of luck.

JudgeRindersMinder · 19/08/2024 18:04

@mandyjrs ans I’m shocked that you didn’t see this thread is almost 3 years old…😉