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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teen stealing food

150 replies

foodthief · 05/09/2021 17:47

Hoping others may have some advice. My 17 yo DSD is constantly taking food without asking. Every time we buy a pack of biscuits it has vanished within a week (I've stopped buying them). Now she has eaten a whole box of cereal bars in the space of two days, and has also been helping herself to sweets. Even when we catch her red handed (either in the cupboard in the process of taking it, or because she leaves the wrappers lying around on her bed), she vehemently denies taking anything. To make matters worse she has type 1 diabetes, so constant snacking isn't great for her. She always says she needed it as her blood sugars went low, but when we check her data we can see that is a lie.

Thing is, DH and I don't mind if she wants a biscuit with her cup of tea of an evening if she asks. My DS and other DSD both always ask before they take anything. I don't think we'd car if it was just occasionally but this is literally 3-4 items being taken every day.

Anyone got any ideas? I'm at the point where I'm genuinely considering a lock on the kitchen door!

OP posts:
CovidCrow · 05/09/2021 18:30

I honestly stand by my theory that more Pinocchio esque threads are started on a Sunday than any other day MN.

I was just thinking the same thing.

KateTheEighth · 05/09/2021 18:30

My teens help themselves

The only rule is that if you finish/almost finish something you have to write it on the note pad attached to the fridge so I know to get more

I was denied food as a child (long story) and used to steal food, even stuff I didn't want/need

DavidRosefluffyjumper · 05/09/2021 18:31

I grew up in a house where biscuits were counted and words like stealing, greedy and disgusting used. As a teen I would eat an entire packet and then live in fear/sleepless night in case discovered until I had secretly replaced it. I also used to sneak into kitchens at friends house and steal things from the fridge. It's embarrassing to remember as I'm sure their parents knew. It was definitely binge eating, from a very young age 12/13. I'd be careful to not make this an issue, try to rewind if you already have.

Chloemol · 05/09/2021 18:31

I have never asked if I could have food, and wouldn’t expect my children to, unless it was the last of something, and they let me know so I can replenish, or advise if it was being saved for something

Teenagers get hungry, and at 17 I dint think they should be asking for permission to eat!

SprayedWithDettol · 05/09/2021 18:32

I fail to see what the problem (diabetes aside) is. Sweets are hardly ingredients needed to cook supper.

buffysbuffet · 05/09/2021 18:32

Please don't lock the kitchen door Biscuit

Evesgarden · 05/09/2021 18:32

Hi Op you probably should have put she was your DSD ....

I have a dd who has a binge eating disorder. Its always sweet things. I'd start checking the toilet after meals.

Your DSD also has a health issue that she needs to start taking responsibility for.

Its ok to say no the third chocolate bar, or the third helping of biscuits or eating all the sweet stuff that is meant to be shared for the family. Until she starts buying those sweet things she can't expect to eat every ones share.

I had to have a sit down with my dd, we spoke about counselling, going to see the GP I was very sensitive but I was quite firm that eating every ones share wasn't fair, there was four other people in the house too.

it did get better but some times she was just compelled to eat sweet things. Like a tub of chocolate cake icing.

MissyB1 · 05/09/2021 18:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Evesgarden · 05/09/2021 18:33

shouldn't have said **

Starlightstarbright1 · 05/09/2021 18:33

Yes i don't expect my ds (14 ) to ask for a buscuit.

At 17 she needs more control of her diet especially with her diabetes

ApolloandDaphne · 05/09/2021 18:34

It's not stealing. She is just eating the food that is in her home. Maybe ask her what snacks she would like and get them in for her. No wonder she is denying it if you are making her feel bad.

Xx1d1xX · 05/09/2021 18:34

I agree with other posts about the issues around food lying with you! These issues are in your home because you are restricting what she has available to eat in her own house which I find so sad for her. You're causing the problem. She's responding to you in that way because she doesn't think you are okay about her eating snacks etc. Taking 3/4 items per day is what you called snacking not stealing and I'd be surprised if you find any children or teenagers (especially), who do not snack that often. Buy more, often, and allow the kids to be involved in the picking of their favourites. They should have goodies in their own house. If it's a budget issue, buy cheaper brands etc. If they can't feel comfortable in their own home feeding themselves, where can they?

MintyGreenDream · 05/09/2021 18:35

She shouldn't have to ask for food

bellsbuss · 05/09/2021 18:36

If a packet of biscuits last a day in our house that would be a miracle the same with a box of cereal bars. A week is amazing , I keep tubs of snacks like brunch bars, raisins, bread sticks, fruit winders etc and always have a big bowl fruit plus yogurts for the children to help themselves to. Children especially teenagers get hungry.

biggerthehoops · 05/09/2021 18:37

I really fancy a biscuit (or 10) now

WreckTangled · 05/09/2021 18:37

Is she having psychological support for her diabetes? Being a teen with type one is shit, believe me. Having your whole life based around food, have you eaten? Is your sugar level high? Do you need to eat? Oh you're not feeling great, must be because your sugar level is high/low. Oh your sugar level is low you need to eat this and that blah blah blah. It's absolutely relentless. I wouldn't be surprised if, combined with teenage hunger, it's a control thing.

WaterAndRichTea · 05/09/2021 18:39

17? Stealing food?
Shes got to ask before she eats?
Eaten a pack of biscuits in a week?
A lock on the kitchen door, Christ Biscuit

Give her a break!!!

itsgettingwierd · 05/09/2021 18:39

I'm more concerned that a child taking food in their house is being accused of stealing it.

A packet of biscuits a week isn't a lot.

I get the diabetes is making things more difficult but what does the data show about her levels? Is her wanting this food causing high sugars?

My ds is also 17. I buy him a weeks worth of snacks and cereal bars. He chooses when he eats them and he has more than enough for a week. So if he can't be arsed to make toast or something and eats crap it goes sooner. If he wants more he buys his own.

WaterAndRichTea · 05/09/2021 18:40

She shouldnt have to ask !!!

How awful for her

TheHouseILiveIn · 05/09/2021 18:40

@CovidCrow

Every time we buy a pack of biscuits it has vanished within a week

Just re-read the OP. Your packet of biscuits disappear within a week. A week? A week? 😂🤣😂

Haha, yes I thought this too🤣🤣
Tealwarrior · 05/09/2021 18:40

Op, I don’t even know how to start with this because unless money is extremely tight and food is managed down to a fine art then no one should have to ask for food in their own house. It’s just not the way and I think you were unfortunate to have been brought up in the circumstances you were where you had to ask for something.

If money isn’t the issue then just let the children eat and if it is a problem then perhaps buy each of the children their own biscuits so that they know if they eat them in one sitting that’s it till the next shopping trip. They can then fill up on the healthy options that are left in the fridge.

It must be really worrying to see your daughter not making good food choices but by not buying sugary things at all or just buying each of the children they’re own supply you’d at least be limiting what she can binge on.

Honestly, when my children were growing up we used to joke that if you stood still in the kitchen you’d be in danger of being eaten by them.

It’s normall for them to have their meals then to be filling up on the likes of sandwiches and milk.

JulieM50 · 05/09/2021 18:41

WOW you accuse your own teenager of stealing food/caught red handed in her own home 🙁 my Mother was very withholding of food for me when I was a child as she was so worried about weight and guess what? I have a terrible weight problem as once I was “free” to choose I have made such bad choices
Change your outlook with her and help not accuse as I never stopped mine and they both have a healthy relationship with food

TheHouseILiveIn · 05/09/2021 18:41

She shouldn't have to ask for food at 17. That's not normal.

steppemum · 05/09/2021 18:41

perhaps have a separate box labelled 'hypos only' so you always have an emergency stash, but then buy the cereal bars for the snack cupboard so she can have one if she was hungry.

Fauvist · 05/09/2021 18:42

I'm astonished at all these people who get through a packet of biscuits in one sitting. I bought two packets of biscuits a couple of weeks ago and about half a packet has gone. There are three people in the house, all with adult-sized appetites. We just don't eat sugary stuff that much. Nobody has to ask for food because nobody is eating inappropriate amounts of anything. I think a packet of biscuits in a sitting or even a week in the case of just one person eating them is really a lot.