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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

My teen has spent 20 minutes pointing out all my faults.😣

134 replies

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 27/07/2021 21:44

But I’m not allowed to reciprocate as that’s ‘mean’

Who ever thought that miming to music on my headphones was a failing? 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:

Whitedeer · 28/07/2021 00:49

My preferred option was "OH, NO!!" in accents of extreme horror. Look at them with expression of anguish. "You POOR soul. Half your genetic make-up is MINE!!!"
That usually annoyed them enough to flounce off.

Oceanbliss · 28/07/2021 01:01

@swimlyn I love it, took a screenshot and will print it out and stick it on my fridge. Though my dd is not a teenager yet, is only 7. I will save it for later

stripedbananas · 28/07/2021 01:20

I love and get on very well with my teens but my god they can be little shits at times

MrsPsmalls · 28/07/2021 01:24

@EarringsandLipstick

God MrsP that's very far from normal though, and really nothing to do with you kicking him out of the car.

Hope things improved since.

Hes 26 now and somewhat improved, but I never recovered!

caringcarer · 28/07/2021 02:17

If my 15 year old criticizes me or our home or more often something I have not done I remind him the reason we have little free time to do anything is because we drive him around to cricket matches all over the weekend, and then stay and watch him play because we are proud of him. That usually gets me an apology.

wigjuice · 28/07/2021 05:43

My 15 year old had started speaking to me in an awful manner, not swearing or insulting, but in aggressive growly tones. I am actually very easy going but I am straight to the point and strict when it needs. I don't shout normally. Well this one day he did it last week, I snapped and my tone went very low and hard and I did for once swear. 'WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU SPEAKING TOO?' I'm not sure who was more shocked him or me. He apologised profusely, and has not been so bad since.

ufucoffee · 28/07/2021 07:10

I'd have stopped the car and told them to get out and walk.

CrouchEndTiger12 · 28/07/2021 07:17

@Spindless

I’ve actually told mine (just turned 18) to fuck off tonight. Ungrateful utter gobshite.

Good!

18 is an adult. If they spoke to any other adult like that they'd be told to fuck off too.

They speak to you like shit, chuck them out of the car and stop buying them stuff.

MyShoelaceIsUndone · 28/07/2021 07:46

I annoyed my now adult DS by just asking him anything ... and even saying goodbye as he left for school 🤣🤣 can’t wait to see how I annoy my 12 year old over the next few years

CrouchEndTiger12 · 28/07/2021 07:55

You haven't realised your power. These kids live by the grace of you.

What will they do with no one to support them or pay their way. Stop driving them places to buy a bloody sketch book!!! They can buy that themselves next time they're out.

MichaelGovesBeard · 28/07/2021 07:56

@LolaLuna

Well, this can only happen if you allow it. I don't encourage rudeness in my teens and swiftly stamp on it when it occurs

Exactly! I’m quite shocked that people let their children speak to them so disrespectfully.

DinosaurDiana · 28/07/2021 07:58

I’m frequently told I’m embarrassing, so i do it more just to annoy 🤣

PearlFriday · 28/07/2021 08:03

I get this too. Her cheerleader, her sounding board, her counsellor... but im mocked for my weird accent 🤔 im told i have mayonaise on my mouth (while im eating) and like you op, im made aware of my faults.

HighlandCowbag · 28/07/2021 08:05

Mine is 17 now and mostly a sweet girl. She went through a bit of a stage when she was 14/15 of being deliberately provoking and critical, usually when I had had a glass of wine or two. After a few months of this I started sending her up to bed as 'I'm sat in my living room, in my PJs, listening to criticism from someone who's arse I wiped. I think you are tired, go to bed because I'm not in the mood'. If she didn't go I'd pick my phone up and ignore her and she would flounce off. All forgotten the next day.

Teenagers are like dogs. Withdraw all attention and they run out of angst.

unsureofneighbour · 28/07/2021 08:07

@Somarefuser

Either I was lucky, or I’m a terrifying parent. Mine were all lovely teens. Now polite, helpful adults who have heated discussions not fights.

I have 2 of these breed. Some of the things I read on here that are cited as 'normal' because they are teens is shocking.

harriethoyle · 28/07/2021 08:09

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

She was only talking to me as l was driving her to a shopping centre to buy a sketch book, so we were trapped in the car together.

More fool you for not turning the car round and telling her to stick her sketch book where the sun don't shine!

My eldest DSD (also 15!) tried to do this once with me. I stood up mid-rant, took my car keys and walked out without a word. Didn't come back for 3 hours (had a lovely time shopping for complicated ingredients, having a coffee and listening to A-Ha's back catalogue in the car...!). By the time I returned, she was extremely apologetic and very relieved I hadn't dobbed her into her Dad. She hasn't tried it since...

blissfulllife · 28/07/2021 08:16

I misgender swans and my eyeliner is shit.

Phyllis321 · 28/07/2021 08:17

I have a 14 yo DS who is essentially a very sweet human but my god when he blows, he blows. A few days ago I was a silly middle-aged woman who didn’t understand technology. He got called ageist, sexist, rude and a brat. He apologised and got a bit tearful.
They are just raging bundles of hormones. Fun for all.

AlternativePerspective · 28/07/2021 08:17

I am constantly shocked at the amount of behaviours people excuse on the basis of “they’re teens,”

It’s the same with selfish teenagers who empty the cupboards of all the food, “teenagers are bottomless pits, you just need to buy more.”

My teenager hasn’t ever spoken to me like that but he wouldn’t dare. On the occasions he’s been in a fowl mood for whatever reason I have just walked away from him and told him that I won’t put up with that so he’d better get his act together.

A teenager being driven somewhere for something would have summarily been ordered out of the car or driven home and certainly wouldn’t be given the money to buy said sketchbook.

wigjuice · 28/07/2021 08:20

I spoke too soon, son has woke up with a real bad attitude this morning, only asked him to empty dishwasher when he had a moment. Apparently he doesn't have an attitude just a personality, it's too early.

CrouchEndTiger12 · 28/07/2021 08:26

@blissfulllife

I misgender swans and my eyeliner is shit.

Give it back.

Had I spoken to my mother like that she would have pulled my appearance apart right back and it would have been utterly deserved.

They're old enough to criticise someone else's appearance then they're old enough to be told they're dressed like a tramp, fat ugly lazy the whole lot.

I can't believe you lot put up with this.

Musication · 28/07/2021 08:30

They're old enough to criticise someone else's appearance then they're old enough to be told they're dressed like a tramp, fat ugly lazy the whole lot.

I think there are a lot of ways of handling this behaviour, some good suggestions upthread. I'm not sure, however, that calling a teen fat or ugly is going to help anything.

crabbingbucket · 28/07/2021 08:32

Mine looked at my face yesterday and pointed out all the wrinkles I didn't used to have and then said they're probably more pronounced because I'm a bit fat at the moment. Got to love em

CrouchEndTiger12 · 28/07/2021 08:35

@Musication

They're old enough to criticise someone else's appearance then they're old enough to be told they're dressed like a tramp, fat ugly lazy the whole lot.

I think there are a lot of ways of handling this behaviour, some good suggestions upthread. I'm not sure, however, that calling a teen fat or ugly is going to help anything.

The way these teens have spoken to their parents on this thread ...they need the shock.

Take a look in the mirror would be a good start

NiceTwin · 28/07/2021 08:37

Mine weren't being ghastly to me but were knocking 7 bells out of each other in the car. We were on the motorway, they were about 15 and 11.

I knew my husband wasn't far behind me on the way home from work.

I swung into the services and told them to get out of the car. They protested, so I jumped out to drag them out , that got them moving.
Left them stood open mouthed at me as I cheerily waved goodbye.
Quick call to dh and he swung in literally minutes after I'd left.

It was the last time they had a full on fight

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