Is it a normal part of being mum to teens to be sad about the child who has "gone"?

[Balaur]

I have a 16 and 13 yo. Of course I can completely rationalise that it's all normal, they pull away from you, don't want to spend time with you and generally seem like a different person from the sweet child they were but fucking hell, I'm finding it hard.

Yeah 6.00 am wake up is hard. It does go though.

I agree with Crowsaregreat

The sheer exhaustion of those baby years seems to have been forgotten here by quite a lot of posters. I think a lot of folk are wearing rose tinted glasses here.
(Mine are all adults now)

ds(17) has sprouted up (6ft2in) and shoulders etc really widening out this past year and is really starting to have the physique of a man.

When we have a hug I do sometimes feel a little melancholy and think I wish I could do it all over again, raising him to be the lovely, kind young man he is has been a pleasure, but it is not something I dwell on.

I think a big part of it is wishing I was 17 years younger again too!!!!!!

Yes, when I watch the videos of their younger years it’s like watching different people. Every stage has its fun and challenging times, but I do miss the innocence of the younger days.

Yep I have this and mine are just babies. I try not to think about it. But sometimes when I'm cuddling them, I imagine I'm future me who has come back for one more cuddle.

I loved ds when he was small and loving, but life was certainly quite hard. Now it's much easier but he's often pretty unpleasant. The 13-14 years were absolutely awful, and have had a real impact on my emotional response to him.

The sheer exhaustion of those baby years seems to have been forgotten here by quite a lot of posters. I think a lot of folk are wearing rose tinted glasses here.

Spot on @BackforGood.

I don’t hanker after the tiredness of the baby years.

I hanker after my 6 and 7 year olds. They both slept fine at that age.

I often wish I could have one more day with them when they were say 7 & 10

This just brought a tear to my eye. I'm a single parent to a young teen, and when she was about 5-9 she was such good company - smiley, interested in everything - we'd go places and I'd love it being just the two of us.

Now, even trying to think of somewhere we could go in the summer seems impossible - I can't imagine us spending even one day together without her being grumpy and monosyllabic, and me being on edge trying to say the right thing. I really really miss my little girl

@Brokenrecord3006

I think I needed to read this. I have a toddler and I'm finding it so hard that I keep wishing the years away and praying he grows up fast. This thread has reminded me to take a step back and enjoy this time because I'm sure I will miss it one day.

Don't be too hard on yourself, I hated the baby and toddler years with a passion. I found them hard and unrelating. Fast forward 8 years or so and now I'm desperate for time to slow down. DS is 12 and DD is 10 and they are just lovely. From the ages of about 4 upwards it's mostly been fun. Not always easy but a lot of fun. I don't miss the toddler years at all.

I am DREADING the teenage years.

Goodness- reading this is making me cry! I love my children so much and selfishly wish they could stay exactly as they are

My eldest is just about to turn 18 and I've been putting together a montage of embarrassing photos for the occasion. I have been a blubbering mess!

It's a cliche but it really does feel like it's gone in the blink of an eye.

I have battled with this since they were born, being of a melancholy disposition. Then I realized I was wasting their present life mourning - so I trained myself out of it. My ds is now 19 and has come out of the teen years and is lovely. However dd, 17, has very suddenly distanced herself and I miss her dreadfully. We were such good friends. I really never thought it would happen.
I would love to have one day with them as toddlers and babies.