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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Son and very right wing racist views

247 replies

Strawberry33 · 07/01/2021 22:40

My son 14 has been extremely influenced during the past year by stuff in the media that he now calls lefty propaganda and some unfortunate experiences. He now has decided to completely shun our families values and wants to become a right wing politician. He’s very bright but been debating with teachers and pupils today in his online learning and I’m worried he’s going to be punished and silenced which seems to only feed into his views.
Just to add he’s not at all violent, aggressive or nasty towards people of any group. If he was I’d definitely get police involved or counter extremism involvement.
I just want to shape his views but he just digs his heels in more and more! X

OP posts:
AlexaShutUp · 07/01/2021 22:46

Has he been radicalised online? You say that he isn't "nasty" towards any particular group but you also say that he is expressing racist views. Please don't ignore this. Ask the school about a referral via Prevent.

Alexandernevermind · 07/01/2021 22:51

What are the unfortunate experiences - vaguely if its outing?

AlexaShutUp · 07/01/2021 22:51

Channel (part of Prevent) is specifically intended to target support at an early stage - it isn't for people who are already involved in terrorism but for those who are at risk of being drawn in. Far right extremism is on the rise, and I understand that teenage boys are particularly vulnerable. Please don't think that his behaviour isn't extreme enough to trigger a referral.

OverTheRubicon · 07/01/2021 22:56

Was he being bullied or feeling like an outsider before?

Obviously there are plenty of people who hold right wing views and are of entirely sound mind, but to so strongly identify as to suggest being a right wing politician hints at a young man in search of an identity, and trying to break apart from his surroundings.

It might be worth speaking with a psychologist, sometimes these things are influenced by forums like Reddit, but there are reasons he was susceptible. Maybe getting to the root of those feelings might help.

QueenOfTheDoubleWide · 07/01/2021 22:57

If his views are extreme that is a worry but, if they are just "normal" right wing views I would just say keep debating, keep communicating and help him formulate his views sensibly. I knew quite a few young men who were fairly right wing back in our youth but they all mellowed

AlexaShutUp · 07/01/2021 23:02

If his views are extreme that is a worry but, if they are just "normal" right wing views I would just say keep debating, keep communicating and help him formulate his views sensibly.

The OP has described her son's views as "very right wing" and "racist". She is also concerned that he may be "punished" for expressing his views in his online learning. That sounds pretty extreme to me.

Oopsyouvedoneitagain · 07/01/2021 23:06

By right wing politician do you mean Tory, or are you talking about BNP etc?

TwilightToStarlight · 07/01/2021 23:11

Hmmmmmm very right wing, extreme and racist, but he is saying it online school and they haven't stopped him...and he isn't nasty? Sorry, I am not being goady, I genuinely don't understand how someone who is openly racist isn't nasty.

coldcoffeefy · 07/01/2021 23:11

@AlexaShutUp

Channel (part of Prevent) is specifically intended to target support at an early stage - it isn't for people who are already involved in terrorism but for those who are at risk of being drawn in. Far right extremism is on the rise, and I understand that teenage boys are particularly vulnerable. Please don't think that his behaviour isn't extreme enough to trigger a referral.
I second this
Original poster
Strawberry33 · 07/01/2021 23:12

Alexashutup- well when I say he’s expressing views I’m not saying he’s targeting people or upsetting people but he’s airing them to me in the course of our discussions such as at home in reference to news stories on immigration ect and political debate. Or in history lessons (he’s obsessed with history and I suspect he’s ASD somewhere on the spectrum) he says things like that other races were enslaved too. He’s not incorrect on that but doesn’t seem to understand the nuances.
The reason I don’t want to get anyone outside involved at this stage is because he believes he’s being silenced for being white and male. The more I try to change his view the more he thinks he is correct. I also don’t want him to shut me out from talking to me as then who knows who he will talk to instead? At least at the moment I know exactly what’s going through his head.
Hope that makes sense x

OP posts:
AlexaShutUp · 07/01/2021 23:18

he believes he’s being silenced for being white and male.

I actually think this in itself is really worrying. Do you know who he is talking to online? I do understand your concerns about involving external intervention, and I would suggest that these are raised as part of the referral, but if he is being influenced by people who are skilled in drawing in vulnerable teenagers, then you may sadly find that you don't have the skills to address this by yourself.

suggestionsplease1 · 07/01/2021 23:18

Well OP if you feel that you can't involve anyone else I guess you yourself maybe have to out-power him in the arguments by knowing and understanding the history and present realities more than he does and thereby successfully countering his assertions.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 07/01/2021 23:18

Actually I would talk to the safe guarding team at school because this exact scenario was in my prevent training for radicalisation. I think you need experienced help.
A friend of ours has a son with Aspergers, who unbeknownst to them became fascinated with far right and nazi type information and in his online “research” managed to go on to some dodgy chat rooms. The first they knew about it were when the police did a dawn raid one morning-it was really distressing for the whole family. I seriously think you should seek some help.

AlexaShutUp · 07/01/2021 23:19

Of course, if he is expressing extreme views to his teachers, they will have to refer him in any case...that will depend on exactly what he has said, I guess.

PlanDeRaccordement · 07/01/2021 23:21

Saying that other races were enslaved too is not racist, it’s fact.

What views does he have that are actually racist?

hauntedtree · 07/01/2021 23:21

Hope Not Hate have some useful resources that you could use to talk to him.

Young men are often attracted to the far right because they feel isolated and it gives them a sense of identity and community. I think finding ways for him to cultivate those things outside of the online far right would be really helpful. Also if he likes history, get him some books/documentaries to watch that will challenge his views.

CabinClose · 07/01/2021 23:22

Do you monitor what he accesses on the internet? Have you posted about him before when he responded to BLM by telling black kids at school that All Lives Matter?

GuyFawkesDay · 07/01/2021 23:23

If he was a student expressing radical political views in either direction, I'd have to report it.

His views sound like they need intervention. 0lease contact the school, they will be able to help you and your son.

QueenOfTheDoubleWide · 07/01/2021 23:24

@AlexaShutUp

If his views are extreme that is a worry but, if they are just "normal" right wing views I would just say keep debating, keep communicating and help him formulate his views sensibly.

The OP has described her son's views as "very right wing" and "racist". She is also concerned that he may be "punished" for expressing his views in his online learning. That sounds pretty extreme to me.

We are on Mumsnet which tends to be somewhat left wing so it is trying to figure out the lines. What one person finds concerning, another may not
AlexaShutUp · 07/01/2021 23:24

It is important to understand that Prevent/Channel are about safeguarding, not blame. Your ds might have some horrible views, but ultimately, he is still a child and he is vulnerable, so he needs protection from those extremists who might seek to exploit his vulnerability.

Original poster
Strawberry33 · 07/01/2021 23:24

Twilighttostarlight- sorry what Im trying to say is he’s not behaving in a nasty way towards anyone like calling anyone names, excluding any one or any sort of bullying. He’s not denigrating anyone’s religion or culture or picking on anyone over it. He is however arguing with everything he feels is being pushed onto him like white privelage for eg, saying in his school (majority black inner London school) hes the one who can’t say anything therefor he’s oppressed. he’s getting into debates over history like he got very annoyed when the school showed them a bbc video reenactment of Roman Britain with lots of black cast as Romans. He likes everything to be very literal. He told the teacher it was ridiculous.
Hes also anti- benefits and beleive a lot of the usual sun and daily Mail type stuff about the “left”. Thinks immigration is wrong and that brexit is good ect ect

OP posts:
PlanDeRaccordement · 07/01/2021 23:26

@GuyFawkesDay
I agree. Extreme left and extreme right are both worrying. You can be on left or right and not a racist, but most extremists are racists.

HmmSureJan · 07/01/2021 23:27

Hmm, I'm not sure really. I do feel that on various SM platforms, lack of agreement with very left politics and often even centrist views are being presented as right wing and attacked. Sounds like he's thinking critically tbh and you may find those views settle and become less extreme over time - if they even are that extreme. It's not up to you to try to "change his views" you said in your first post that you didn't want to try to shape them but that's exactly what you're doing.

I wished my teen ds happy international men's day back in November and he expressed surprise as he didn't think that many people would see it as enough of a positive thing to comment on. I found that pretty sad and told him so. I do think our teen boys are receiving a lot of negative messages on SM and your description of what your son is saying doesn't really come as a surprise to me.

Velvian · 07/01/2021 23:33

www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m000mcgr

This edition of Woman's Hour features Laura Bates speaking about how many teenage boys are being groomed by Men's Rights Activists (MRAs) and right wing, white supremecists online.

Worth a listen for any parent of teenagers/adolescents

TulesDana · 07/01/2021 23:34

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