Son and very right wing racist views

[Strawberry33]

My son 14 has been extremely influenced during the past year by stuff in the media that he now calls lefty propaganda and some unfortunate experiences. He now has decided to completely shun our families values and wants to become a right wing politician. He’s very bright but been debating with teachers and pupils today in his online learning and I’m worried he’s going to be punished and silenced which seems to only feed into his views.
Just to add he’s not at all violent, aggressive or nasty towards people of any group. If he was I’d definitely get police involved or counter extremism involvement.
I just want to shape his views but he just digs his heels in more and more! X

BAME children and immigrants have had to learn what they can and cannot say in a majority white environment if they want to keep their jobs or avoid being bullied in school for decades and decades. Black people have even had to change their natural hair and been excluded from schools for having Afro styles which is pretty much how their hair grows from their heads.

So now white children are being taught to acknowledge inequalities other groups face, and that’s some sort of injustice? Give over!

OP - you are right to be concerned because in your son’s generation, holding anti immigrant or anti black views will cause him problems if expressed loudly in work or university. Maybe other people don’t like that or can’t accept it but it’s true. Try to educate him gently but please do try. You can Google and find many cases of people who lost their jobs because of racist or xenophobic tweets and social media posts.

The fact he feels he's belong silenced for being white and male is the concerning part.

That is extreme right wing and you've seen American the past 24 hours.

With regards changing his view to your politics you can't. That maybe the wrong approach. Especially if you suspect asd or asd type thinking. I have an autistic son.

People in the spectrum deal best with facts. If something has happened they see it as a possibility and you cannot convince them something "may" happen if it never has. For example if he's not ever had his language punished etc he won't see he could be heading for big trouble - and racism could involve suspension.

When he says about other races being enslaved as you know history shows that agree. Talk together and research each race and all different forms of slavery. Then ask him to think about how things have changed for each group over the years. How and why. And why he thinks white males are being oppressed. (Hint it's usually people who haven't yet accepted that it's not oppression of white makes but more a rising for those who aren't!)

You can only get him to look for himself. Try and help him to form a more balanced view of the situation.

But absolutely alongside that explain the societal norms and consequences of racism and facist views of extreme being voiced. There's plenty of evidence out there of prison sentences etc.

Sorry for long post but as the mum of an autistic child I can tell you the more you try and form his opinion the more he'll express his rather than engaging in 2 way "what do you think that?" Conversation.

People who say Black History must never be discussed, for fear of hurting white people's feelings are clearly a bit unhinged / fragile; the famous 'white fragility'

However, I think it is a bit more nuanced than that.

I think there has been a level of mild pushback from people who generally agree with the BLM movement, but who also don't believe that debate has to be shut down at every turn by shrieks of "white privilege". When I saw the message go from "black lives matter" to "white lives do not matter", (that is a verbatim quote), for example, which was a conversation I saw play out on instagram recently, I did question whether I could get on board with that. No, I can't. But it got a lot of support on there. I think I have educated myself and continue to do so, but there are still comments I don't think are quite right. Another one which jumped out at me was; "after the revolution, white people should not be permitted to hold jobs which put them in a position of authority, because they are white and cannot be trusted to hold those roles". This was an argument made by a popular IG influencer and campaigner for black rights in America. Again, I don't agree.

I wouldn't wade into BLM online spaces and tell them they are wrong, but I reserve the right to privately think these particular arguments are bullshit, even having read carefully what the people making the arguments have written.

The comparison to cancer..."it's like saying you can't campaign for pancreatic cancer awareness without campaigning for other cancers". Yes, completely right. BUT, when it is more like..."I'm campaigning for pancreatic cancer, because all you other cancer patients are giving me this cancer and I think you probably shouldn't be able to access treatment for that cancer, because of the history of you cancer patients' ancestors oppressing pancreatic cancer patients means your lives don't matter"...the analogy is less poignant iyswim. So, as I say, I think it is a little more nuanced.

The other thing is, people who identify as POC in america, include people of European spanish heritage. There is some confusion as to what a POC actually is, as in the UK, we would probably call someone of European spanish heritage white. In America they would be Hispanic, I believe, (but not Latinx).

FWIW, I'm white; Irish Catholic. Feel I should declare this!

And saying he’s silenced as a white person when we have a PM who wrote about picanninies? He’s already been radicalised and needs help urgently.

I agree with your first sentence - took the words out of my mouth, in fact. But the second I don't understand. If your PM, who just won a landslide, can write about piccaninnies with watermelon smiles, then overt racial hatred is by definition normalized and even encouraged, providing you're from a sufficiently fancy background to confer immunity from the likes of Prevent. The OP's son has "white privilege" to be sure, but he doesn't have the kind of overweening privilege enjoyed by Johnson or Douglas Murray. The latter was a couple of years below me at college, and a friend of mine (state schooled, a bit ASD and nazi-fixated) a couple of years above. Guess who's a famous columnist 25 years later, and who's an isolated, embittered loser? The views aren't socially unacceptable as such, only certain people who hold them.

I've actually known a few of these guys like the OP's son. I would have considered them harmless cranks, until the referendum allowed them and their ilk to do considerable harm. He should be taken out of school as he clearly isn't thriving, and perhaps the OP could try to foster his friendships with black youngsters, as this is presumably helpful. He needs to be helped to find a niche in society - not easy with his personality type - but he may relax a bit once he's out of the threatening environment of a crappy comp. That's the first step, not reporting him as a domestic extremist because he agrees with the prime minister.

As you don't agree with him, argue it out, calmly and rationally. Insist he reference and substantiate his arguments at every point of issue. Show him what a reliable information source is as opposed to r wing internet lunacy. As his school should be doing. Good luck, a teenage boy convinced he's right is a handful. Hopefully you can help him become more balanced in his views.

I realise this isn't going to be popular

But as a POC- how I hate that term - I consider BLM to be very damaging, so do my family. The constant picking over of history etc

My sister thinks they have been hijacked so is a tad more sympathetic.

Anyway, I think attacking your son's views as "wrong" is unlikely to be a good approach, I'd be more on the side of gentle questioning.

I admit, I don't have children but if I did, I would be telling them to keep any political or controversial opinion completely to themselves.

I do think there are issues at the moment, I tend to keep hearing the Eminem line "Y'all act like you never seen a white person before".

But this is probably more on the mark

[quote AcornAutumn]I realise this isn't going to be popular

But as a POC- how I hate that term - I consider BLM to be very damaging, so do my family. The constant picking over of history etc

My sister thinks they have been hijacked so is a tad more sympathetic.

Anyway, I think attacking your son's views as "wrong" is unlikely to be a good approach, I'd be more on the side of gentle questioning.

I admit, I don't have children but if I did, I would be telling them to keep any political or controversial opinion completely to themselves.

I do think there are issues at the moment, I tend to keep hearing the Eminem line "Y'all act like you never seen a white person before".

But this is probably more on the mark

[/quote] I agree with @AcornAutumn.

Actually there isn’t any mention of black Roman soldiers, I have a profound love for history the title had nothing to do with colour and everything to do with location. Africanus was the title give to people born in Africa, the same as some were given the title Germanicus because they were born in Germania. During the time of the Roman Empire North Africa was predominantly white , it had been settled by the Greeks, carthaginians, Vandals ect and only later were the inhabitants a darker complexion when the moors invaded and conquered North Africa. Giving a person a name of where they were from was normal even up until recent times. An example of this later would be the character Ezio Auditore da Firenze (of Florence). Although I understand this is a fictional character the same rules apply. Before anyone jumps down my throat I did not get this information from any particular author. I actually read the Roman sources. The Latin word for a black man was Aethiopes not Africanus. The Greeks called black people Ethiopians. So no the Romans in Britain that were deployed were still predominantly if not completely white. (Before I get jumped on for being racist I am not I am just sick of people either not knowing their history and/ or are lying about it .I am not left or right I am centre in my views) but I will not lie to make people feel better either. Ps my family and I are all immigrants.

That Dominic Frisbee video is highly offensive. It is a massive piss take and minimises the suffering of ethnic groups and the enduring effects of colonialism which have wrought misery and poverty all over the world. It's facetious, dimwitted and frankly outrageous.

There’s literally an inscription at Hadrian’s Wall describing a unit as ‘Moors’.

@KaptainKaveman

That Dominic Frisbee video is highly offensive. It is a massive piss take and minimises the suffering of ethnic groups and the enduring effects of colonialism which have wrought misery and poverty all over the world. It's facetious, dimwitted and frankly outrageous.

I look at comments like this and think "I hope you're joking" but you're not, are you?

When Biden said to the radio host "you ain't black" I admit, I hoiked my bosom and was very offended, so I guess it happens to us all.

There’s literally an inscription at Hadrian’s Wall describing a unit as ‘Moors’

Good point. We can't airbrush black people out of European history just because modern identity politics wasn't a thing in the second century AD. I bet Hadrian saw plenty of black people on his tour of the empire, and not just in Africa.

Hi Strawberry,
As a mum who has been through this sort of scenario with my own son I would urge you to seek professional help.
There is a new website called actearly.uk which you can take a look at that addresses some of the concerns you have. They have a freephone 0800 number that you can call (you don’t even have to give your name if you don’t want to) and they will listen to you and advice you whether or not you have anything to be worried about, it’s confidential and they are committed to helping you to help your son before he gets too involved in far-right ideology.
They can also help you to weigh up the difference between genuine potentially far-right extremism and what’s normal right wing politics like supporting mainstream ideology and brexit etc.
On a personal note, having been through this myself I also have a support group ( FAEsupport.co.uk ) that you can take a look at if you wish and contact me directly for further support.
I wish you the very best for your son and family and I genuinely hope that this is just something your son can be helped through without it escalating to something more worrying.
Kindest wishes, and sending you a hug.
Katherine x

@KaptainKaveman

That Dominic Frisbee video is highly offensive. It is a massive piss take and minimises the suffering of ethnic groups and the enduring effects of colonialism which have wrought misery and poverty all over the world. It's facetious, dimwitted and frankly outrageous.

Jog on woke snowflake. That video sums up exactly what the world tells a white man every single day of the year.

Please keep a close eye on his internet history. I've worked with a lot of similar young men over the years. He is prime to be radicalised in some shape or form, if he hasn't been already.

children of his age are easily influenced. As they grow up common sense and reasonableness take over. Keep discussing his views in a calm rational way and just hope he sees sense. If he is becoming more radical I would contact the school or college and ask for some help

@Bluebell798 goodness, Ive just seen that my thread was deleted, I'm sure it wasn't offensive in the slightest, unless it's an offence to say whiteness is ok.

@TulesDana

What was it about?

Oh I just saw. Why was that deleted?

Since about half the country are right wing and would probably agree with his views, for the most part, I think calling organisations who supposedly prevent people becoming terrorists is a bit far to go.

His views won't be popular in a London comp.
I grew up in a N.London super left area. I remember the one girl at secondary school who debated politics with a right wing viewpoint was thought of as a bastard fascist. She was a social outcast and a joke from then on. All a bit unfair really, she just had a different opinion to the majority and was brave enough to air it. Wasn't being unkind to anyone or in-sighting hatred. Others were unkind to her.
(Has made millions in the finance industry now, apparently).

Jog on woke snowflake. That video sums up exactly what the world tells a white man every single day of the year

Oh the poor thing.

Jog on woke snowflake. did you just use a 'meaningless cliche generator' to write that sentence cattasaurus? If you actually want to say things you need to use your words.

Yes I did observe cattasaurus' abusive comment to me, but frankly it was so cliched and trite that I just laughed.

Sounds like he's being radicalised and needs real 'educating ' of what reality was. I'm of ethnic minority and u genuinely believe due to taboo topics ppl have racist views or encourages them.