DD has had large sums of money put into her account

[MummyInTheNecropolis]

I noticed she had been spending a lot recently, and when questioned she said it was money she had saved up. I was suspicious so opened her bank statement today and she has received £500 from someone I’ve never heard of, in 6 different payments all made in the same day. She claims this must have been paid to her by mistake and she lied because she knew she shouldn’t be spending it. I don’t believe her, but I can’t think why someone would be paying her this amount?

I am planning to phone the bank but I don’t think they’ll be able to tell me much. I wondered if anyone here might have any ideas? DD is 14.

Something similar happened to my dd when she was 14. She was being exploited by an older man who'd been messaging her for over a year on Minecraft. She'd given him her phone details even though we'd told her hundreds of times never to do this. She thought he was her age.

He'd been giving her money too.

This was several years ago and my dd's mental health is still poor. Prior to this she was absolutely fine, a top student at school. Since that happened her mental health deteriorated and she can't even attend school now due to anxiety and depression. The older guy got an adult caution because we didn't want our dd to go through the stress of a court case (we were given the choice).

OP it might not be anything serious but don't take that risk. Find out now.

This thread is going to disappear I think

I thought cam work as well. Hope you get to the bottom of it.

@Iflyaway

when my DD opened a bank account at 12, the bank was fairly clear that it was her account and that they wouldn't be sharing any details with me.

Well, of course. It's in her name. But she's still barely out of childhood, so...

Where would a 12-year-old get money into her bank account anyway if not from parents/family....?
The statements come by post at home. A good financial education is to be transparent about it. Having chats about spending/saving etc.

Money is such a taboo in our world, to talk about it. It's crazy. You need to talk to your kids about money. the bank of mum and dad is not open for eternity.

I agree - her statements are all on line, and of course we talk about money and what she is spending her money on, roughly what her balance is, what she needs to do chore wise to get more spending money etc. My post was mostly in response to the posters who were suggesting to the OP to call the bank...

My first thought was that you're separated from her father, he's made contact with her, and is 'buying' her back?
I hope it's nothing more sinister than that

There's some real dickishness in some of these responses. "I don't believe that she's asleep" I'm 36 and need a nap all the fucking time. Just leave off; the OP doesn't need to call 999 just quite yet. 90% of you saying "quick get it sorted NOW" just want to know what's going on, anyway.

Is this a real post? 'We are starting to get somewhere' why is it so vague? Surely you'd be too busy speaking to your daughter to write a vague post. You'd wait for the information to come out and then come back later on and write everything....

Yep any that was my thought..

Scammers are constantly using kids to hold their money and then give them a cut. Lots of teenagers dont realise it's actually illegal. Explain that the money can actually be used for terrorism.

I’d also be pretty concerned, county lines would be my first thought

There is a serious issue here, no matter what has happened.

If we take the OP's dd at face value, the money was transferred to her account accidentally. There were six different transactions amounting to £500, so she can't have missed them. She knew it wasn't her money but she kept quiet and spent it anyway. That's theft, and I'd be really worried if my dd did this.

If we accept that the OP's dd probably isn't telling the truth, then someone has given her that money and she is afraid to tell her mother why. There cannot be an "innocent" explanation for this, as the OP would already know about it if it existed. This strongly implies that the OP's dd is being exploited. People don't generally hand over £500 to a teenager for no reason.

The OP's dd may fear telling the truth because she thinks she'll get into trouble, or because the person/people who are exploiting her have threatened her with all sorts of bad things that might happen if she tells. However, she is a child and she needs to be protected. The police can help with this.

If, in the end, it turns out that the transactions were made in error, then the police will be able to help explain to the OP's dd why she shouldn't spend money that doesn't belong to her. She is a minor, so I doubt any further action would be taken. If, on the other hand (as I suspect), it emerges that the dd is a victim of some kind of exploitation, then the police will ensure that appropriate action is taken to safeguard the child.

Calling the police is the right thing to do.

Because she's talking to her daughter NOW ffs.

Yes, and it's darned considerate that OP is also updating the thread in real time when her DD is in such a potentially dangerous situation, people!

I know if it were me in OP's position, the last thing I'd care about is dashing back to MN to let a bunch of strangers know that this vitally important and sensitive conversation had commenced - OP's devotion to the thread in these challenging times is nothing short of unbelievable.

Hmm, the mid conversation update was a bit odd, I grant you.

Jesus there are some overactive imaginations on here.

Someone probably transferred the money by accident, and obviously took several attempts at doing so. My Mum had DDs bank account wrong by one digit, and made 5 transfers of £50 each time before we had to tell her to stop. She did get it back eventually but it took months for the bank to "find" it

So whether or not this is genuine, it’s just made some people aware (who were not previously aware) or things like county lines, and online grooming etc and the ‘go live’ stuff. So it’s still a helpful conversation.

OP: is the reference from the payee just a bank account number , or a company name?

I wonder.

Wow OP! This is troubling- hope you get to the bottom of it- some good links share to keeping safe online by op

@elscar

Wow OP! This is troubling- hope you get to the bottom of it- some good links share to keeping safe online by op

By PP I mean...

sounds like an error and she as a lot of 14 years would think.. if they spend it know one will know.

I would think she's been up very late to be needing a nap.