DD has had large sums of money put into her account

[MummyInTheNecropolis]

I noticed she had been spending a lot recently, and when questioned she said it was money she had saved up. I was suspicious so opened her bank statement today and she has received £500 from someone I’ve never heard of, in 6 different payments all made in the same day. She claims this must have been paid to her by mistake and she lied because she knew she shouldn’t be spending it. I don’t believe her, but I can’t think why someone would be paying her this amount?

I am planning to phone the bank but I don’t think they’ll be able to tell me much. I wondered if anyone here might have any ideas? DD is 14.

@MummyInTheNecropolis

Are people really still telling me to phone the bank/police? You don’t even have to read the full thread to see that I’ve done exactly that!

This place is ridiculous. It's doing my head in, so it must be even worse for you.

Thecraplifethrowsatme what on earth makes you think that OP hasn't phoned the police?

She has grounded her dd since she acted on her suspicions and checked her dd's bank statement. She has contacted the police and intends to contact the safeguarding lead at the school. She is doing all she can to get her dd to open up to her, including letting her have a sleep when she was tired!

What do you think would have been better? Use sleep deprivation techniques until she cracks?

If you actually do work in safeguarding/education, I hope that you are more constructive in real life.

I think the most likely explanation is Sugar Daddy.com

^^ this.

Or, Seeking Arrangement.com

So has she come clean now with a proper explanation? Or is she still giving half explanations and saying she doesnt know or she is confused?

I would consider seeking some mental health support for her, just incase she genuinely doesnt understand or has had some kind of break here.

WOW.

I’m so sorry this has happened OP.

And I’m sorry there are some downright nasty and vindictive “expert parents” on here who have all the answers , but don’t offer any advice and criticise.

You’ve done all you can for now- hang In
there until tomorrow when you can contact your local police dept.
And of course the safeguarding officer at your DD school.

I’m sure it’ll be a restless night for OP but please be assured you’ve done all you can for now.

Try to ignore the critical perfect parents who wouldn’t hesitate to beat it out of their children and get all the answers immediately.

You’re doing a great job! And looking after your DD’s welfare and well being as best you can.

Call me old-fashioned, but the very idea of allowing a 14 year old child have their own bank account and card is outrageous. It is as bad as allowing a child of that age having their own unmonitored access to the internet via a smartphone or bedroom computer. I know probably more than half of 14 yr olds have just that, and more fool their parents for allowing it. Just think: if no child under 16 or even 18 could only access the internet on a computer controlled by the parents and situated in the busiest room in the house, there would be NO online grooming OR bullying. Similar factors apply to a personal, private bank account. No wonder society is going to hell in a handcart with children being afforded adult boundaries.

She has likely agreed for someone to use her account to rinse money. That’s horrendous in itself as it will be crime cash. The other explanation is she’s being paid for something. Either way, shut it down.

Let her have a GoHenry account where you can set spend amounts and see all transactions

I hope school are helpful tomorrow. Don’t let them fob you off saying they can’t do anything.

OP, don't be disheartened by police lack of interest. If this is a criminal situation then you have started to create an evidential trail which exonerates you and your daughter when it comes to later consequences like her having difficulty banking, or some safeguarding person starting to try to criticise you. Whilst I agree with other posters that there are more focussed agencies I would definitely give your local beat officer a call in the morning and ask for someone from the CAIT team (child abuse investigation) to drop you a phone call or visit. When my 14YO went missing on the street a couple of years ago and I reported it to police (during which phone call he suddenly walked through the door), I was impressed to have a bobby on the beat call by the house an hour later to check up on his welfare. The bobby gave him a very kindly uncle talking to about not worrying his mum etc, although I had not invited this I found it useful for my son and he felt cared for. I would press for such interaction in your shoes.
You look after yourself and don't mind the bitching. Make sure you have a good adult support system around you.

I hope school are helpful tomorrow. Don’t let them fob you off saying they can’t do anything.

What’s it got to do with the school???

@MummyInTheNecropolis thankyou for the post, for the updates and in general for the awareness (my one is little now but it's always good to know what is going on).

You are absolutely doing the right thing in the right manner, being firm but approachable at the same time, hope this goes well and it is "only" a money scam/laundering and not something way worse (I know it is serious but there are way worse things out there for teenage girls than laundering money).

@MummyInTheNecropolis you just sit on that phone for now. Whoever sent that money will be in touch again soon enough and then you’ll know more.

@MummyInTheNecropolis oops also forgot to give you a huge massive hug. People are not being very kind to you. This is not your fault and you are doing all the right things xx big hug to you xx

I would password protect or completely remove all computers, laptops and phones until you have been given a satisfactory answer to stop her deleting or contacting anyone. I would be tempted to speak to the Police for advice and go back further on her bank statements.

Are some of the posters on here not even bothering to read the OP's updates?

clearly not, 34 pages and its thought they are saying something shocking when actually its been discussed at length

@notmyfinestmoment and various others PLEASE read the thread. The OP has
Informed the police
Taken phones and devices
Removed all privileges
Grounded her DD etc
She is well aware of grooming, Deets and squares, being a money mule, online grooming, fan accounts etc etc

Have a look at her Google history to see where she is going and if she has been where she is supposed to be. I wouldn't normally suggest such a high level of interference but something seems clearly a miss and she is very young. Also check she is not receiving any male attention that she is finding difficult to get away from and nobody is bothering her in or out of school like an older male.

I have a teenage daughter and have never heard of deets.

I have a teenage daughter and have never heard of deets.

It's because of fucking trending, this never used to happen before we had trending threads on display in the top right corner all the time. At least nothing like this extent of it! Most people not reading the thread probably aren't even subscribed to the teenagers forum/don't even have teenagers.

Tbh OP I would ask for this thread to be deleted, because it’s just turned into a pile on by some and others saying the same things over and over because they can’t be arsed to read your updates.

I also think that even if it turns out to be a banking error (and it still could,) the posters who seem to be desperately hoping they were right in their suggestions will tell you that you’re being naive and stupid and that of course it can’t be a banking error.

As for the poster who suggested a fourteen year old shouldn’t be allowed her own bank account, yeah. Why not give her cash instead so to make sure she really will be a victim....

This thread will be full come tomorrow and the OP won’t be able to give an update. 😨🤦‍♀️