DD has had large sums of money put into her account

[MummyInTheNecropolis]

I noticed she had been spending a lot recently, and when questioned she said it was money she had saved up. I was suspicious so opened her bank statement today and she has received £500 from someone I’ve never heard of, in 6 different payments all made in the same day. She claims this must have been paid to her by mistake and she lied because she knew she shouldn’t be spending it. I don’t believe her, but I can’t think why someone would be paying her this amount?

I am planning to phone the bank but I don’t think they’ll be able to tell me much. I wondered if anyone here might have any ideas? DD is 14.

@MummyInTheNecropolis

Just received a call back from the police and I’m utterly shocked at their response. Apparently there is no evidence of a crime so they will not be coming out or investigating . I mentioned all of the possible crimes that could be happening (grooming, exploitation, fraud etc) but they were adamant that without any evidence they will not be able to get a warrant to look into her account and therefore there is nothing they can do. They just advised me to go back to the bank and ask them to investigate. So no help whatsoever. I know lots of you have posted helpful links to other people who may be able to help, such as the CSE department etc. I will absolutely look into all of these, I haven’t had the chance yet (I was waiting for the police response) but will get to it immediately. Thank you so much for all the helpful and supportive messages.

I'm really surprised about this. I work for the police and absolutely would expect this to be taken seriously. I would ring again and complain. Maybe they think there's no crime as you don't know how she got the money. If you can find out a bit more it might help. You could try CEOP. They are specialists in this.

She could be laundering it without realising. Very easy to hoodwink a child. If you get no joy with the bank then definitely call the police.

I thought London was supposed to be the money laundering of the world?!

All the oligarchs buying up hugely expensive properties with millions of pounds of ill-gotten gains. Large firms of solicitors undertaking the conveyancing process so 'laundering' the money through their client account? I'm not particularly surprised the local police aren't bothered.

However, it will hopefully mean that your DD will put an end to this one way or another, before she gets in too deep. Surely if she's only had 1 day of payments, she's just started out?

Good luck. I dread to think what awful things will be out there by the time mine are teenagers.

That is large scale laundering, AlfrescoWee.

Millions of £s are laundered on a far smaller scale in Britain daily.

Maybe look up 'deets and squares'?

What does this even mean? What cheques?

That poster was referring to a scam which is where some criminal "deposits" a large amount of money in your account, generally thousands. Most people are honest and so tend to panic when faced with loads of money that they know isn't theirs. The criminal then contacts the victim saying "OMG, I've made a huge mistake transferring this to you, please please send it back" perhaps with sob story attached about how they will lose their job or something, and most people, being honest, and if they haven't heard of the scam do. The criminal then cancels the original deposit (which was never finalised) so the victim is actually transferring thousands of their own money to the criminal. Difficult to reverse because you authorised the transaction. If you ever find an unexpected amount of money in your bank, go via the bank! Don't try to sort it out yourself.

Doesn't sound like what's happening with OP's DD because if it was totally out of the blue, she would likely not have started spending it and/or would have been surprised by it and gone to an adult for advice. Also with that scam, it tends to be one payment not multiple, and you can generally not spend the money since it is not actually in your account in the first place, it's just a pending thing.

I've just spoken to my eldest DD. Apparently there's a website called onlyfans ( I'd never heard of it) where you take pictures of yourself and " sell" them to whoever wants them. Also alot of kids do the same kind of thing on private Snapchat. Someone will contact you and ask to be accepted as a friend and you say yes, if you pay X amount then pictures are sent privately it's also done on Instagram. After talking to my DD there's obviously alot I don't know about and I'm pretty tech savvy, or so I thought. I hope you get to the bottom of this and you and your DD are both ok.

OP you have handled this really well. Agree with PPs to try the police again get a specialist.

Is she in school for this term? Either way I think contacting the school safeguarding lead tomorrow is a good next step

I work in education/safeguarding and I am honestly staggered at the responses from the majority of parents, who are applauding the OP. I do not want to be harsh but how has she handled this situation perfectly?

She has had issues with DD in the past. When questioned about the money she initially lied. She then allowed her to have a nap instead of insisting that this very serious issue was immediately addressed. After the nap, the DD was still not giving out anything of value. She then allowed her another 24 hours to come clean. Surprise, surprise she still has not got to the bottom of this.

In an earlier post we are told she never goes out, then later says she's grounded. Grounded from where? The kitchen? She admits she is sure which other girl is involved but does not involve the other girl's family, even though their daughter may be in real danger.

Whatever the consequences of her earlier misdemeanours were, they were clearly no deterrent, or she would not be in this situation now. Totally lax parenting here I'm sorry to say. She is naieve beyond belief about the very real danger her DD could be in. I'm sorry but I do not believe for one second she has even contacted the police.

Btw I live half a mile from the site where the body of Kayleigh Haywood's body was found. She was groomed online and then murdered. Look up her story!

Parents.....take off your rose tinted glasses and get a grip!

@Thecraplifethrowsatme

I work in education/safeguarding and I am honestly staggered at the responses from the majority of parents, who are applauding the OP. I do not want to be harsh but how has she handled this situation perfectly?

She has had issues with DD in the past. When questioned about the money she initially lied. She then allowed her to have a nap instead of insisting that this very serious issue was immediately addressed. After the nap, the DD was still not giving out anything of value. She then allowed her another 24 hours to come clean. Surprise, surprise she still has not got to the bottom of this.

In an earlier post we are told she never goes out, then later says she's grounded. Grounded from where? The kitchen? She admits she is sure which other girl is involved but does not involve the other girl's family, even though their daughter may be in real danger.

Whatever the consequences of her earlier misdemeanours were, they were clearly no deterrent, or she would not be in this situation now. Totally lax parenting here I'm sorry to say. She is naieve beyond belief about the very real danger her DD could be in. I'm sorry but I do not believe for one second she has even contacted the police.

Btw I live half a mile from the site where the body of Kayleigh Haywood's body was found. She was groomed online and then murdered. Look up her story!

Parents.....take off your rose tinted glasses and get a grip!

Lots of criticism here but I don’t see any constructive advice. What exactly should she be doing in order to get the end result you desire?

My point was that money laundering is taking place on a massive scale and there seems to be little political will to sort it out. There is lip service to preventing it but no real desire. Therefore it doesn't surprise me that the police aren't interested.

Absolutely not saying that the OP shouldn't continue to push for answers and stop her DD getting involved in small scale laundering, if that is what it is.

I've looked up deets and squares thanks to this thread.

Hiya, I haven't read through all the response on this post but just wanted to let you know that I had an experience with my daughter a few years ago where almost £27,000 was put in to her account in two payments on separate days and it was a bank error. She was also 14 at the time. She checked her relatively new bank account when out with her pal, to find it was in the thousands instead of a couple of pound. Her first reaction? Run in to Tesco and buy a buy a big slab of chocolate and a onsie, then she panicked and phoned me, before going to the bank to tell them. When I went to the bank they were nonplussed. I asked if they weren't suspicious that a teen had so much money and they said its not uncommon, they would never question it. Her account had to be frozen while it was investigated by the fraud team but we never heard an outcome. Only that there had been a error and it had gone to her account by mistake. She admitted to the bank staff that she had initially got excited and spent some more money than she should have but they waived that because of her honesty. Go to the bank tomorrow and see what they say. It will go to their fraud team to investigate.It might not be anything sinister at all.

At the very least, if the op has the slightest suspicion that another child may be involved in this, then that child’s parents should be made aware of the situation.

Put her in the car and drive to the Police Station with a copy of the Bank statement
Then bring her to the Bank and ask to see the Manager
That should focus her mind
If she hasn't done anything wrong, she won't mind doing that

Right because banks are always open on a Sunday.

@Thecraplifethrowsatme if you work in safeguarding you will know about trauma bonds and peer pressure and trust.

What do you suggest the OP does that she isn’t already doing?

Hi OP, on your daughters phone, click every single icon on it. There are apps that are designed to look like calculator and other mundane apps that actually hide messaging apps like Line that can be completely anonymous. Just thinking your daughter might be hiding messages about this in plain sight?

She won’t get into trouble with the police, just ring them for advice as they have specialist units that deal with child exploitation. Good luck.

@Thecraplifethrowsatme

I work in education/safeguarding and I am honestly staggered at the responses from the majority of parents, who are applauding the OP. I do not want to be harsh but how has she handled this situation perfectly?

She has had issues with DD in the past. When questioned about the money she initially lied. She then allowed her to have a nap instead of insisting that this very serious issue was immediately addressed. After the nap, the DD was still not giving out anything of value. She then allowed her another 24 hours to come clean. Surprise, surprise she still has not got to the bottom of this.

In an earlier post we are told she never goes out, then later says she's grounded. Grounded from where? The kitchen? She admits she is sure which other girl is involved but does not involve the other girl's family, even though their daughter may be in real danger.

Whatever the consequences of her earlier misdemeanours were, they were clearly no deterrent, or she would not be in this situation now. Totally lax parenting here I'm sorry to say. She is naieve beyond belief about the very real danger her DD could be in. I'm sorry but I do not believe for one second she has even contacted the police.

Btw I live half a mile from the site where the body of Kayleigh Haywood's body was found. She was groomed online and then murdered. Look up her story!

Parents.....take off your rose tinted glasses and get a grip!

You have no idea what the issues are, so you shouldn't just assume the worst.

The kid fell asleep next to her mum on the sofa, after a long night and busy day.

OP suspects which friend might be involved.

OP said she doesn't go out without her so the grounding could be no walks, shopping, coffees and removal of phone.

OP searched her room and her phone.

OP informed the bank and the bank account was frozen.
OP informed the police.
OP will ring the school tomorrow AND contact the other agencies suggested.

The kid is lying as kids do and OP is aware of that and is taking steps to take this further.

What more do you want in a 24 hour period and at the weekend?

I seriously hope you don't work in safeguarding because A LOT of your posts are assumptions,jumping the gun and twisting facts to fit your made up scenario of a trouble maker daughter and useless mother.

I didn’t say she never goes out, I said she rarely goes out without me. Being grounded means she cannot go anywhere and I will not be taking her anywhere.

I do not know the parents of the child I suspect may be involved, and have no way of contacting them, however the school obviously will have, and I will be giving them all of the information I have and sharing my suspicions about who may be involved first thing tomorrow.

The previous issues we have had which involved the school safeguarding officer were not caused by DD, she did nothing wrong but was a victim, so nothing she was punished for or should have ‘learned’ from.

@MummyInTheNecropolis how is your DD now?

Right because banks are always open on a Sunday.

And if the banks are anything like down here, you need to get past the "bouncer" on the door deciding if you need to go in. Unlikely you'd even see the Manager a) without an appointment and b) F2F in the current climate, even if he'd agree to a meeting over this.

Im with all the others. phone police, freeze account, take phone off her.. Be careful if scared may run as may feel silly. She will not be in trouble, police need to sort this, way out of your depth.
Tell her your on her side, it happens to lots of young ones. Keep her home till sorted.

Are people really still telling me to phone the bank/police? You don’t even have to read the full thread to see that I’ve done exactly that!

OP, I help to look after an adult family member who has learning disabilities. He lives independently but gets by only with lots of support. He's been targeted for money laundering on three occasions and on each occasion we provided phone numbers, copies of the transactions and screen shots of texts from the money launderers to the police. They've never bothered following it up.

IME once the money launderers have a person on their list they don't let them go and they use the fact that they have laundered money previously as a way of blackmailing them to continue. I wish you luck.

Can you not actually take her to the bank to sort out the mistake it’s supposed to have made. Tell her she could get a criminal record for spending what didn’t belong to her but that you will go as support and sort it out. This should prove whether or not it is a bank error. However, should she not want to do this, tell her there is only online laundering or grooming to explain the money and that you are so concerned, and unsure of what to do, that you are seeking police advice. Reassure her that if she has gotten involved in something that’s turned out to be not good, that we all make mistakes and that you love her. Then inform the police. They do have specialists trained to deal with your worst nightmare. I wish you both a healthy outcome. All prayers with you and your baby.

I think the most likely explanation is Sugar Daddy.com. My DD knew a few girls who did it to earn money. In return they might send pictures or things online. Check out her internet use - most visited sites. Well done for getting the police involved.