DD has had large sums of money put into her account

[MummyInTheNecropolis]

I noticed she had been spending a lot recently, and when questioned she said it was money she had saved up. I was suspicious so opened her bank statement today and she has received £500 from someone I’ve never heard of, in 6 different payments all made in the same day. She claims this must have been paid to her by mistake and she lied because she knew she shouldn’t be spending it. I don’t believe her, but I can’t think why someone would be paying her this amount?

I am planning to phone the bank but I don’t think they’ll be able to tell me much. I wondered if anyone here might have any ideas? DD is 14.

@TerrapinStation...oh and because I’ve also had a bad day and your comment has really pushed my button, so well done, it worked. I’ll add that I did read through OPs posts and none of them mentioned squaring at the time I posted which is why I thought I’d add it. It would be irresponsible of me to hold that information and not share it. The point I was trying to make was that OPs DD doesn’t necessarily have an extra phone/device, there’s nothing sexual about it and any young person with a social media account can be targeted in their own home and their friendship group aren’t always involved. which were themes that I’d seen coming up in other replies.

This thread has been derailed by people who couldn't be bothered to use the new "read OP's posts only" function.

I think that the op has done well under the circumstances. I don't think that the police's lack on interest is lockdown related. It seems that they are only available for the violent crimes and that's because of years of underfunding rather than CV

How do you read all of the OPs comments without having to scroll through the whole thread?

OP can you close your daughters bank account?

@Thisgroupneverceasestoamazeme
Terrapin had a go at me too so don’t take it personally

I have RTFT.

OP, you have all my sympathy. I have been through the teenage traumas, and I'd choose toddlers over teenagers any day.

One of mine in particular gave me endless cause for concern. However, when the chips were down, she did tell me the really big stuff. She only told me because she knew I wouldn't go ballistic (although she also knew that I would not be happy). So you are doing the right thing, not sending your DD into a spiral of defensiveness and anger, which only ever leads to more lies.

IME, teenagers will go to any lengths to achieve their ends. Second phones/unknown devices, etc, etc, etc are all commonplace. So are 'secret' SM accounts (as PP have said). PP have also said that the hiding places for devices are many and unexpected. Never in a bedroom drawer or a schoolbag. One of mine turned out to be hiding something inside a pair of socks. I had to search pretty carefully for that one.

For future problems, OP, one thing that did help with my particularly challenging DD was discussing issues with her as if we were talking about imaginary people. We had an imaginary girlfriend and boyfriend for a while - Sam and Jess. This helped when DD wanted to know whether "Jess" would need to take the MAP in a particular situation. It wouldn't work for everyone, but it did work for us. I also had a repertoire of hand puppets with very different personalities and voices, and she would sometimes tell them things that she wouldn't tell me.

Teenagers really are very hard work. Good luck.

OP can you close your daughters bank account?

The bank already froze the account.

@KingCatMeowInSpace, you can use a 'show all' OP's posts function in all the OP's posts if you're on a PC (maybe laptop too but I'm on a PC so not sure about the laptop).

If you're on an android phone the function is not available (not on mine anyway).

Hi OP.

I am an investigator on a modern slavery team. This includes County lines, Deets and squares.

Unfortunately your run of the mill police constable will not have a clue about these issues.

Please phone your local police and ask to speak to the county lines team or the modern slavery team.

I promise you, THEY WILL TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY

op, she is a child and will be viewed as being exploited / groomed rather than offending herself so do not be concerned about contacting the police.

On the iphone app there's a pin icon that you can tap that says show posts only by.. and you can select the OP.

CyberNan is correct. On out team she would be treated as a victim.

@KingCatMeowInSpace

How do you read all of the OPs comments without having to scroll through the whole thread?

Click on "OP's Posts: see all" at the bottom of the OP

@disorganisedsecretsquirrel

Hi OP.

I am an investigator on a modern slavery team. This includes County lines, Deets and squares.

Unfortunately your run of the mill police constable will not have a clue about these issues.

Please phone your local police and ask to speak to the county lines team or the modern slavery team.

I promise you, THEY WILL TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY

Might have been helpful if the OP’s local police had referred her to this department, no?

Has your Daughter started being honest yet OP ?

My heart goes out to you! I had similar with my son, much smaller amounts & items we were hugely concerned about county lines
www.childrenssociety.org.uk/what-is-county-lines
We never really got to the bottom of it, the police were amazing & it stopped as soon as we talked through with him.
Please take steps to protect your daughter.

@Rollergirl11 they might not even know they exist. I’ve learned through working with CSE/CCE and safeguarding that the police are such a huge organisation and there’s often not a great deal of communication or knowledge of other teams. Not intended as a criticism of the police.

@Whattheduck must be how they get their validation. I’m sure it makes them feel better about something momentarily.

@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble

On the iphone app there's a pin icon that you can tap that says show posts only by.. and you can select the OP.

Total game changer- thank you!

@disorganisedsecretsquirrel

Hi OP.

I am an investigator on a modern slavery team. This includes County lines, Deets and squares.

Unfortunately your run of the mill police constable will not have a clue about these issues.

Please phone your local police and ask to speak to the county lines team or the modern slavery team.

I promise you, THEY WILL TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY

That fuck for that!! I was beginning to despair! Thanks for the advice!!

hope the safeguarding people at school can help. well done for making progress.

Very disappointed in the police's laziness here. Hopefully some other organisations will be willing to take action.

As I mentioned previously, I'm worried that if it is money laundering and the bank have now frozen the funds, then your daughter and indeed you could be in danger.

Agree with those who say report this now. She'll be in far less trouble the earlier you report, especially being so young

Try the bank first, they should help you as she is only 14... Then involve the police.

Wow. I’ve never ever heard of deets and squares before, this thread has really opened my eyes!

Some very good advice about the specialist agencies that people have given here OP.

This thread has, sadly, been very informative. Thank you for sharing all this with us, and I do wish you and your dd all the very best.