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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

DD has had large sums of money put into her account

999 replies

MummyInTheNecropolis · 04/07/2020 17:50

I noticed she had been spending a lot recently, and when questioned she said it was money she had saved up. I was suspicious so opened her bank statement today and she has received £500 from someone I’ve never heard of, in 6 different payments all made in the same day. She claims this must have been paid to her by mistake and she lied because she knew she shouldn’t be spending it. I don’t believe her, but I can’t think why someone would be paying her this amount?

I am planning to phone the bank but I don’t think they’ll be able to tell me much. I wondered if anyone here might have any ideas? DD is 14.

OP posts:
TerrapinStation · 05/07/2020 20:04

@Thisgroupneverceasestoamazeme

Someone may have already mentioned it as I haven’t read the whole thread but it might be ‘squaring’ it’s a form of money laundering CCE (child criminal exploitation)

Young people are contacted by social media to recruit them so she doesn’t have to have been left the house to be drawn in

Hmm, I wonder if in the previous 700+ posts ianyone had mentioned the obvious concern?

Luckily lots of people who can't be bothered to even read the OP's posts are around to suggest it for the 155th time, phew

Loreleigh · 05/07/2020 20:04

I agree there is a possibility the money has come from a source that involves some form of exploitation, like drugs money, sex (pictures etc) or money laundering. But before accusing her I would try to check it wasn't a banking error or that she was selling stuff on ebay. The fact you say the money came from one source, on the same day, in 6 different payments is the bit that rings big alarm bells for me. If it was a one-off payment I might think the bank had put in into her account by mistake, or she had sold a piece of jewellery, was hiding it for a friend or something (though the last one is also unlikely as she has been spending it). Whatever the reason, she is 14 and you do need to know. Good luck trying to get to the bottom of this one - it must be very worrying for you.

Natmat1 · 05/07/2020 20:07

@MummyInTheNecropolis I just wanted to say that I hope everything gets sorted out for you and your daughter very soon. It is great that you got such good advice and support on the thread.
I have never heard of any of those issues before and it was such an insight on what goes on in the teenage world. As well as an amazing example by you on a conduct in such complex situation. Your daughter has a great mother and I have no doubt you will overcome this together!

1moreRep · 05/07/2020 20:10

this is a sign of child exploitation, you need to involve the police and get her devices downloaded. Beware of ticktok as this is often used in child sexual exploitation and deny her any use of the internet until you get to the bottom of it

BobbieDraper · 05/07/2020 20:11

@1moreRep

There is a handy new feature now so you can read all of OP's posts. Maybe go do that before you tell her to do things she has already done way before you came along.

fatgirlslimmer · 05/07/2020 20:11

FFS if the threads too long to read, don’t comment 🤫

Weebleonaworkout · 05/07/2020 20:14

Working in a school I would ask you to please inform them. There may be others too whose parents have no idea. I would be calling in the police for sure. However, first contact the bank. She is a minor, so in theory they can talk to you I believe. If not, go straight to the police.

PhilCornwall1 · 05/07/2020 20:15
  • Honestly the police do so little in helping with criminal events nowadays. So sorry for you OP

Post something negative about trans issues on Twitter and see how fast the coppers turn up.*

They are experts at investigating the Politically Correct "crimes" these days. Bugger all use for anything potentially close to a real crime though.

Blackbear19 · 05/07/2020 20:15

Op I think you're handling it really well. Sorry the police weren't more helpful. I hope DD will open up and come clean with you. Goodluck

Inkpaperstars · 05/07/2020 20:16

I am sorry you've had such a shit response from the police. What is the money in your DD's a count if not evidence of a crime?!

BookishKitten · 05/07/2020 20:17

I wouldn’t be surprised to know that your daughter has another phone. I would ask someone you trust to look after her for a few hours at home while you search through her room. I’m so sorry thisnhas happened.
I’m inclined to think this is an online thing (pics, sugar baby, credit card fraud etc) rather than drug mule beCause you mentioned she is rarely out without you.
I would contact the NSPCC for advice how how to handle this one if the mention of police and school doesn’t get her talking. You would be better taking a supportive and gentle approach first, making sure she understands she is likely to be a victims here.
Good luck, I feel for you and your daughter.

TerrapinStation · 05/07/2020 20:18

@Weebleonaworkout

Working in a school I would ask you to please inform them. There may be others too whose parents have no idea. I would be calling in the police for sure. However, first contact the bank. She is a minor, so in theory they can talk to you I believe. If not, go straight to the police.
It's never ending, can we have a clever feature please MNHQ that stops posting on a long thread by posters who don't understand that if a thread's been running for over 24hrs they won't be adding anything that hasn't already been suggested and they should be forced to use the new OP posts feature.
Bebbooopthrowaway · 05/07/2020 20:20

Hi @MummyInTheNecropolis I'm a social worker and made a throwaway account just to respond to your concerns!

Thanks for bringing this up and trying to get advice. You did the right thing and thankfully you became alert - which is great, unfortunately a lot of parents would not give a toss after finding out stuff like this!

I do advise you to report this, just to safeguard DD. If DD has participated in any exchange for money, she is not at fault! If that is the case, then DD is a victim and she will be treated as such. It could be an error, but please do not take the risk.

Again, your concern is natural and is good parenting. Many parents and guardians ignore warning signs, which allows potential abuse to continue and to escolate.

sputemgolightly · 05/07/2020 20:20

There has been a lot of useful information here, but also a great deal of rampant speculation.
It should surprise nobody that the OP and daughter will both be stressed to death right now (for different reasons) and however well intentioned suggestions are, the Police choosing not to proceed means that the OP will have to get to the bottom of things by herself.
This is a reminder of how much the lockdown aids wrongdoers at the expense of the vulnerable.

Sittingontheveranda · 05/07/2020 20:21

OP Can you daughter tell you if she is supposed to keep the money or give it to someone else? That might narrow it down?
I wonder too if it is worth saying to your bank that there has been frauds levy activity on your daughter’s acc. That may force them to investigate the transaction details?

Sittingontheveranda · 05/07/2020 20:22
  • fraudulent
Chwill · 05/07/2020 20:25

Agreed! Just what the poor woman needs a gang of cranks demanding she wake her daughter and call the police...

Worstemailever · 05/07/2020 20:26

That's a really poor response by the police. At the very least they should have referred you to other agencies that can help. Personally though, I would be inclined to let her still think that they are very much interested. And I would definitely be phoning round her friends parents at this point and getting them to check their accounts. You might be able to collate evidence yourself. I would also be tempted to seize anything that she has bought as it comes from the proceeds of crime and donate them to a charity shop.

saraclara · 05/07/2020 20:27

How about those of us who actually read the thread, just quote each of the 'phone the police/phone the school/she's got another phone you know folks' and then paste:

CLICK ON "OP's Posts: see all" at the bottom of the OP, FFS!!!!!

Insanelysilver · 05/07/2020 20:28

Oh bloody hell. I’d be worried too! It sounds very unlikely that it was 3 mistaken payments.
Lots of young girls are making substantial amounts of money sending pictures of themselves to men on line. I’d be a bit worried just Incase that it was something like that. Although I’d have thought it would have been more payments so maybe it’s one particular man.
I think you need to try to encourage her to tell you the truth. X

Chwill · 05/07/2020 20:28

Good luck OP by the way, you’ve found something is not right and you are following it up by talking to your daughter. Panicking and losing your shit is of no use to anyone, sounds like you are doing the right thing.

Thisgroupneverceasestoamazeme · 05/07/2020 20:28

@TerrapinStation...tbh, I was having a five minute break before putting my son to bed and saw it on my daily round up email. My job involves working with the victims of CSE and CCE so I thought I’d rather leave a quick reply than not at all as this is a safeguarding issue and from the few replies I scanned through there were some suggestions that seemed a bit off the mark and likely to put the fear of god into the OP. I hope your snarky reply has given you some sort of release or satisfaction. I’m assuming you’ve had a bad day so I hope you have a better one tomorrow Flowers

mathanxiety · 05/07/2020 20:28

...however well intentioned suggestions are, the Police choosing not to proceed means that the OP will have to get to the bottom of things by herself.
No she won't.
Two agencies have been identified (and links provided) whose remit is the two types of exploitation that the DD may have been drawn into. The local plods are not the agency to contact about these two types of crime.

This is a reminder of how much the lockdown aids wrongdoers at the expense of the vulnerable.
No it isn't.
This is an organisational issue that bedevils policing regardless of the lockdown.

It's not ok to use this thread to grind an axe about the lockdown.

PhilCornwall1 · 05/07/2020 20:29

You might be able to collate evidence yourself. I would also be tempted to seize anything that she has bought as it comes from the proceeds of crime and donate them to a charity shop.

What? I'm sure a charity shop would be over the moon to have items from the proceeds of crime, if that's what they are.

Not the best idea really is it.

PhilCornwall1 · 05/07/2020 20:30

You might be able to collate evidence yourself. I would also be tempted to seize anything that she has bought as it comes from the proceeds of crime and donate them to a charity shop.

What? I'm sure a charity shop would be over the moon to have items from the proceeds of crime, if that's what they are.

Not the best idea really is it.

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