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Teenagers

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Original poster

DD has had large sums of money put into her account

999 replies

MummyInTheNecropolis · 04/07/2020 17:50

I noticed she had been spending a lot recently, and when questioned she said it was money she had saved up. I was suspicious so opened her bank statement today and she has received £500 from someone I’ve never heard of, in 6 different payments all made in the same day. She claims this must have been paid to her by mistake and she lied because she knew she shouldn’t be spending it. I don’t believe her, but I can’t think why someone would be paying her this amount?

I am planning to phone the bank but I don’t think they’ll be able to tell me much. I wondered if anyone here might have any ideas? DD is 14.

OP posts:
Sittingontheveranda · 05/07/2020 19:37

MummyInTheNecropolis I’m sorry to read your update. It must be so hard to try to do the right thing and get no support whatsoever. I wonder if whoever is depositing the money in your daughter’s account and your daughter herself are already aware the police can’t investigate. It might explain your daughter’s refusal to confess.

Onceuponatimethen · 05/07/2020 19:38

Also I believe the advice is to contact CEOPS direct? www.ceop.police.uk/safety-centre/

They will have a lot of expertise in this area

Deidre21 · 05/07/2020 19:38

If she’s being honest and isn’t on a website that allows her to make money from sugar daddy’s, etc. then possibly she’s protecting a friend and therefore is using her own bank account to receive money on behalf of the friend. She’s probably scared to get her friend into trouble. At that age, friendships are so much more important, “being with the in group”. Maybe she gets a cut from the money for allowing her account to be used.

AllTeaAllShade · 05/07/2020 19:40

One thing that crossed my mind was a site called onlyfans where creeps pay for pictures

Floralnomad · 05/07/2020 19:40

It’s unfortunate but I can see where the police are coming from as if your daughter won’t tell you what she has done do you really think she will tell the police . You are now 24+ hours in and apparently none the wiser , if she were mine I’d now be saying that she wasn’t going anywhere, doing anything , speaking to anyone until she tells you what is going on .

ilovemydogandmrobama2 · 05/07/2020 19:41

So disappointed for you in other words you need to find the evidence and call back

Last week tried to make an online payment with my bank and got a call from their fraud department. It may be worth calling and asking to speak to them saying that the payments are not recognised. There recently has been some tighter measures where the destination of the account needs to be verified, so it may be a red flag for the bank, who may have enough evidence to call the police?

However agree that I would not involve social services at this stage.

user1490954378 · 05/07/2020 19:41

Just because the OP hasn't posted in hours or even days doesn't mean they aren't checking back looking at replies. If people still want to reply anyway, what skin off anyone else's nose is it?
Personally I wouldn't mention police to the daughter. It does sound like it could be online activity that she has become involved in, and I'd explain that there people out there who may take advantage, and that she needs to put a stop to whatever it is that is happening and block this person/people, and close her account with whatever app or website she has been using. I'd make it clear that her bank balance will be monitored in future. Chances are she'll become emotional and spill the beans, OR she will clam up. Either way, tread carefully. She needs protecting but if she feels unable to trust you, she'll most likely do something similar again and learn to hide it better next time, which obviously is not the outcome you want.

FinlandFlag · 05/07/2020 19:42

Does she have tiktok?

mathanxiety · 05/07/2020 19:42

Forget your local police. This isn't their remit.

footprintsintheslow · 05/07/2020 19:46

I would be tempted to keep the details of the police call back to yourself so your daughter still thinks that is an option. It might give you leverage to get a full explanation from her.

I think you are handling it really well.

Boomclaps · 05/07/2020 19:47

Do you have a local PCSO or Special constable. They might come and talk to DD? They work more in community policing including advice and liaison as opposed to crime crime. IYSWIM
(I’ve explained that shittly but hopefully makes sense)

Sounds like it’s been pants for both of you. Hugs all round

CodenameVillanelle · 05/07/2020 19:48

@RenoSusan

This is a scam. The checks will bounce and you not your daughter will have to pay the bank back.Return everything you can for a refund for the bank will have to be paid back.
What does this even mean? What cheques?
CodenameVillanelle · 05/07/2020 19:49

@Alsohuman

Just seen your update. That’s complete shit. Why do they need a warrant? You’re happy to give them access.
They need a warrant to get the BANK to give them any information. The DD's bank statements won't tell them anything.
ConfusedOpinionsHere · 05/07/2020 19:50

Hi OP. You must be feeling so overwhelmed right now. I just wanted to add that I also think there must be another phone. When I was a kid my stuff kept getting stolen so I made secret pockets in my cuddly toys. It just takes basic sewing skills, little more than putting a button on, and it's not obvious. It kept my stuff safe for years and if (and I realise it's an if) there is another phone a small one could easily fit inside a teddy bear. You're doing a fantastic job with DD and I hope it works out for both of you x

MollyMinniesMum · 05/07/2020 19:51

Could it be her father / grandparents ?

Mrsmchammer · 05/07/2020 19:51

@MummyInTheNecropolis I am in awe of your super parenting skills. You are handling this so well. Your DD is well supported and you're doing all you can to keep her safe.

DonaldJTrumpet · 05/07/2020 19:51

Isn't it the polices job to gather evidence?

Honestly the police do so little in helping with criminal events nowadays. So sorry for you OP.

ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 05/07/2020 19:54

OP I'm sorry you had such an underwhelming response from the police. Keep trying the other avenues pp's have suggested and definitely talk to the school tomorrow , as they will have their own reporting and support methods. Even more important now that the local police are being so dismissive.

Gottheteeshirtandlostit · 05/07/2020 19:54

For what it's worth OP, I think you are dealing with this brilliantly. Keep hunting. Keep talking. Keep getting in touch with agencies who might be able to help.

ConfusedOpinionsHere · 05/07/2020 19:55

And by stuff I mean the valuables you have before you care about jewellery, not drugs, lol

AnneMarie1981 · 05/07/2020 19:56

Please talk to your DD schools Designated Safeguarding Lead. They will be able to help you. The schools website will tell you who it is.

PermanentCobOn · 05/07/2020 20:01

Honestly the police do so little in helping with criminal events nowadays. So sorry for you OP

Post something negative about trans issues on Twitter and see how fast the coppers turn up.

CaptainMyCaptain · 05/07/2020 20:01

@Scotland32

It’s 28 pages! Who on earth has time to read all that??
If people read it and didn't make unnecessary (repeat) suggestions it wouldn't be so long.
icedgem85 · 05/07/2020 20:03

I earned hundreds at the same age by sending pictures of myself to a man. I even gave him my address to send me presents. Luckily nothing ever happened. I bought an iPod and lied to my parents that I’d won it in an online competition. It seemed like easy money and he was such a ‘nice guy’ I saw no risk. Please monitor her online because I would bet she’s doing something similar and it can escalate so fast. Good luck xx

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