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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

DD has had large sums of money put into her account

999 replies

MummyInTheNecropolis · 04/07/2020 17:50

I noticed she had been spending a lot recently, and when questioned she said it was money she had saved up. I was suspicious so opened her bank statement today and she has received £500 from someone I’ve never heard of, in 6 different payments all made in the same day. She claims this must have been paid to her by mistake and she lied because she knew she shouldn’t be spending it. I don’t believe her, but I can’t think why someone would be paying her this amount?

I am planning to phone the bank but I don’t think they’ll be able to tell me much. I wondered if anyone here might have any ideas? DD is 14.

OP posts:
Someone1987 · 05/07/2020 16:10

Who wants to read 626 comments Hmm

Alsohuman · 05/07/2020 16:12

@Someone1987

Who wants to read 626 comments Hmm
If you can’t be arsed to read them all, at least read all OP’s - there’s even a new feature to help you.
Isingtoomuch · 05/07/2020 16:15

As a mum of a 14 year old girl who has had previous online/safeguarding issues I know how awful you must be feeling. Just wanted to reach out and say you sound like a fantastic mum. Please be kind to yourself 💐

SpookyNoise · 05/07/2020 16:29

What an awful situation, op. I hope you get to the bottom of it.

Doyley47 · 05/07/2020 16:41

where is this new function please?

lilgreen · 05/07/2020 16:49

Well done mum, I think you’re doing everything you can! Flowers

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 05/07/2020 16:53

@Doyley47 - Go to the OP's post at top of the page and at the end you'll see this: OP's posts: See all. Click on the "See all" and hey presto, all the OP's posts in the thread you are currently looking at. So before posting "cancel the cheque" like hundreds before you, you can read to the end of the OP's posts and advise accordingly. That way, you don't have to read everybody else's advice if you don't want to, but can respond to the OP. It's a great feature!

Starwind74 · 05/07/2020 16:56

The new function is to click on See all at the bottom of OP. I noticed this the other day, I am glad someone Pointed out it is a new function, as I was thinking I was daft fo not having noticed it before.

Worstemailever · 05/07/2020 17:11

I think that, at this point, I would tell her that you will be phoning around all her friends' parents. She can either tell you who got her involved, or you pretty much call round all her friends parents and tell them what has happened. If she is trying to protect friends etc, then she risks getting them all into trouble rather than one or two. Tell her that you will be passing all her contact details on to the police.

crosspelican · 05/07/2020 17:11

.

back2good · 05/07/2020 17:21

I would also calmly tell her you'll start calling friends' parents.

You're doing the right things, and she needs to come clean.

youwereagoodcakeclyde · 05/07/2020 17:27

I think you did great, would have been better if she could have explained the whole situation to you! But that’s her, not you. Good luck with it all.

Whycantibeapuppy · 05/07/2020 17:27

Another possibility would be a new thing called OnlyFans. I believe it’s on Instagram and involves people paying to get access to pictures and videos of someone else. Someone I know uses it and posts nude or sexy photos and get payments of around £500 in her account monthly. Have you seen anything under that name on her phone? I’m so sorry for this terrifying situation, you are handling it so much better than I would be

Firechick · 05/07/2020 17:30

Just wanted to send massive hugs OP. Hang in there xx

Ostracod · 05/07/2020 17:30

She probably has an onlyfans account or similar and is selling videos or photos online to subscribers. If she isn't leaving the house or spending time with people you don't know that's the most likely!

yorkiepudsnutellaandicecream · 05/07/2020 17:31

Does she use social media? There are a lot of odd people out there (specifically twitter and Instagram) who will pay silly money for some strange things.

sunshineandshowers21 · 05/07/2020 17:32

14 year olds can not use onlyfans! you have to upload a photo of your passport or driving license and a photo of yourself holding it to prove you’re over 18. there’s no way anyone underage would be able to use it. obviously people can still sell nudes without going through onlyfans though.

LadyofTheManners · 05/07/2020 17:32

Does she have twitter?
A lot of older teens are using Twitter and mainly a PayPal me account that doesn't allow those paying in to access their details. They then call these mainly older men cash pigs, and abuse them online in return for money.
I saw a program about it on BBC3 about a year ago and was horrified by what some teens are doing online.
Otherwise, could it be county lines? Do you live in a n area which is outside a city centre? Does she go out after school?

LovelyIssues · 05/07/2020 17:32

I would be extremely worried. You need an answer. She knows where the money has come through

Ironmanrocks · 05/07/2020 17:32

Good luck - I hope you get to the bottom of all this and that your daughter remains safe. It is scary to hear how easy it is for kids to get sucked in...

Iwanttobeagranny · 05/07/2020 17:35

I would say if the bank has not contacted her/you by now then it’s not a mistake. If it is a mistake the money would have to be repaid. Ask the bank first, don’t involve the police until you know it’s something sinister. Does she have access to her passport? It’s popular with kids to sell their passport details 🤷🏼‍♀️

Shhimtryingtosleep · 05/07/2020 17:36

My first thought is "County lines"

Mummy012 · 05/07/2020 17:40

This is potential sign of criminal exploitation. She may have a second phone you don’t know of so checking her phone wouldn’t tell you anything. I would get in touch with the police. They are trained to support young people in those situations. If that’s what it is.

WitchesGlove · 05/07/2020 17:42

@Nimello

Crossed with your latest post, OP. I also wonder about a second phone or a secret device. My children all tried that one...
How did you find out they had a secret device?
yorkiepudsnutellaandicecream · 05/07/2020 17:42

Sorry I commented before I read the rest. Ignore me. For what it's worth I think you're handling it well. X