DD has had large sums of money put into her account

[MummyInTheNecropolis]

I noticed she had been spending a lot recently, and when questioned she said it was money she had saved up. I was suspicious so opened her bank statement today and she has received £500 from someone I’ve never heard of, in 6 different payments all made in the same day. She claims this must have been paid to her by mistake and she lied because she knew she shouldn’t be spending it. I don’t believe her, but I can’t think why someone would be paying her this amount?

I am planning to phone the bank but I don’t think they’ll be able to tell me much. I wondered if anyone here might have any ideas? DD is 14.

Hope all is well op, and also on tenterhooks for update.

This thread has really opened my eyes to some of the modern risks for teenagers. I hope you and your daughter are doing okay today op. You sound like you're doing all the right things to me

@PopsicleHustler The description of your home situation has made me feel quite uncomfortable.

You need your husband to resolve your problems? Why couldn't you deal with something as minor as a teenager not doing homework by yourself? You said it yourself, you're a parent. So parent. Why do you need to rely on a man to do it for you?
Is it because you've pulled the 'wait till tour dad gets home!!' card too many times, therefore undermining yourself?

I cannot imagine, in this day and age, calling a man the head of the household. If a man tried to dictate as such he'd be laughed right out from under my roof.

Gosh, I hope you're okay OP.

*your dad.

This thread became interesting......

@PopsicleHustler

For what it's worth I don't think it matters one jot that you think your hubby is 'head of the family' or that you'd get him to sort an issue out.

Seriously! All that matters is that you are happy together and he treats you in a way you are happy with. Doesn't matter if you call him king, so what? Who are you hurting. Others on here might find it odd but do what works for you.

For me it’s more the technicalities of @popsiclehunters post.
I simply didn’t understand why she’d have to wait for her husband to get to the bottom of it, rather than get to the bottom of it herself. Surely it’s a matter of having a covert prowl on Instagram and the like, which is fairly basic work.

Theres no sexism in our house. Naturally, my husband is the leader of the family

Maybe the sexism can't fit in your house because it's fit to bursting with internalized misogyny?

Another one here who had never heard of deets and squares.

Thinking of OP, looks like you are handling it in a very sensitive way. I am impressed that your 14 year old allows you to access her phone, my 2 DSs had secret passcodes by that age.

Hoping for news of a happy outcome.

Only on MN when a child is receiving unknown monies into her bank account and everyone is more concerned with a woman who said her husband was 'head of the family'

Depressing!

OP, if you have had various issues with your daughter before it might be worth looking into Multi Systemic Therapy - it’s NHS funded and particularly good for adolescents who are at risk of offending - the police youth team can probably make an initial referral.

It’s not available in all areas, sadly, but I found it very effective. Hard work though!

I think the subject of this thread is too important to be derailed by whether someone is 'head of the family'. A child is potentially in a dangerous situation.

Please all leave Popsicle alone and let this thread focus on the very serious issues it has raised. Popsicle has the right to live as she chooses in a way that works for her, even if most of us would not see things the same light.

Wait a minute, that poster said her household isn't sexist because "has penis, must lead" fobs his dc's off onto his wife instead of parenting them himself??

Can someone send her a copy of Wifework?

There's not much else to say about the 14 year old. She'll confess or not,but the police will be involved from tomorrow.

• Only on MN when a child is receiving unknown monies into her bank account and everyone is more concerned with a woman who said her husband was 'head of the family'

Depressing!*

Agreed, the original issue is far more important than some random sentence on a posters comment.

Don’t involve the police until you know.

Sorry I haven't RTFT but I just thought I'd add: A girl I used to work with used to get sent money by asking for it on Twitter. I think it's called findom? It's basically where girls act all dominatrixy and ask for donations or 'tributes' from men who like to be treated like dirt or 'moneypigs' or something like that.

@StrawberryPea

As expected you didn't answer the hypothetical question.

The sooner the police get involved, the sooner they can start investigating. That to most people is obvious! The police would also say report immediately, particularly as this involves a child.

Quite alarming how naieve many posters are regarding the seriousness of this. Each to their own!

Yes. Twitter is a cesspit of sugar daddy types etc preying on young girls.
I have teenage daughters, this sort of thing is rife.
And the men seeking dominatrix stuff. It’s horrible but mind blowingly common. And far far too easy.

Don’t involve the police until you know.

Eh? Involving the police is the only way OP will know

I totally get what you are saying popsicle...and you come across that you feel very safe in your homelife...ignore those trying to pick holes and hijacking someone elses thread just to have a pop...i would have regarded my dad as head of the house as he took the worry of my mum and us kids and he was fixer of problems..certainly didnt "control" my mum, i would love to have somone to support me in the way my dad did my mum instead of being a single parent having to make every decision myself and deal with all the crap myself!

There’s always someone who wants to make the thread all about them. And not the Op and her DD.

Sigh .

Seriously!!! Leave Popsiclehunters alone now. Point made!

Bullying is not a nice trait

Let's wait for update on the child and the mysterious money situ although I have a feeling we will hear no more, might be wrong!