DD has had large sums of money put into her account

[MummyInTheNecropolis]

I noticed she had been spending a lot recently, and when questioned she said it was money she had saved up. I was suspicious so opened her bank statement today and she has received £500 from someone I’ve never heard of, in 6 different payments all made in the same day. She claims this must have been paid to her by mistake and she lied because she knew she shouldn’t be spending it. I don’t believe her, but I can’t think why someone would be paying her this amount?

I am planning to phone the bank but I don’t think they’ll be able to tell me much. I wondered if anyone here might have any ideas? DD is 14.

@fuzzymoon If its a one off payment that's gone in is it possible someone has done a bank transfer and input incorrect details

It says in the OP's first post " she has received £500 from someone I’ve never heard of, in 6 different payments all made in the same day

I just spoke to my seventeen year old DS about this and he said that although it could be something dodgy, there are equally lots of ways to make money online e.g. through twitch streams or crypto currency which aren’t necessarily safeguarding issues even if some of them might be unwise.

Talking to her is still the preferred starting point. IF the mother goes to the police and says “this money has gone into DD’s account but I haven’t even mentioned it to her” then it’s equally possible that it could have been a banking error.

Just because it could be something dodgy, doesn’t mean that it is.

I think op has done the right thing waiting to contact police today. Op was posting quite late last night and not the time to be dragging information out of a 14 year old . The police would not have done anything last night because the daughter was not in imminent danger .

I haven’t read the whole thread but is the money from an individual or a company ?
You could try searching the name and see if anything comes up (you may have already done that so just a suggestion)

“ would immediately alert my husband and my husband would get right down to the bottom of it”
???

Could you not get to the bottom of it all by yourself @PopsicleHustler?
I’m always surprised by this kind of everyday sexism on mumsnet.

I clocked that too @Therollockingrogue and it makes me sad. I was hopeful it was just worded awkwardly and the poster meant she and her husband would get to the bottom of it.

I often deal with a lot of things on my own, and sometimes we deal with it together or sometimes he deals with it himself . But my DH is the head of the family and we are parenting together. If there was something really serious going on then, of course I have to let him know and involve him. Who doesnt!

I would immediately alert my husband and my husband would get right down to the bottom of it.

After stern words from dad and treats and privileged being taken away,

You are the parent. You are in control.

You might do well to remember this yourself popsicle

Correct @backseatcookers . Interesting name btw

I just cross posted with you, but

my DH is the head of the family

Absolutely @gotothecooler

Me too rollocking but later on in popsicle's post it is the husband who sorted out the homework issue too....

Head of the family?

I'm a newbie to MN so dont know what cross posted means

Is it wrong for the husband to be the head of the family. I am too but if I need any help or anything I go to him. He is the leader of our pack. He says the same thing about me so there you go

Head of the family
We’re right back in 1952

@PopsicleHustler why is your DH the head of the family?! 😳

Well we both resolved the homework issue, we have both been keeping on top of it and am ensuring my son is making sure his education is first and foremost

I can’t believe anyone says their husband is the head of the family in this day and age. This isn’t 1820.

@MummyInTheNecropolis I really hope you come back on and let us know what happened with the police and what it was all about. I had no idea about deets and squares so it would be good to learn from your experience. I have younger DGDs but worry about what they'll have to cope with when they're teenagers. Good luck, I hope you get to the bottom of it and it isn't as awful as some people think it is.

@PopsicleHustler

Is it wrong for the husband to be the head of the family. I am too but if I need any help or anything I go to him. He is the leader of our pack. He says the same thing about me so there you go

Well it suggests that you don’t think you have equal footing. Which is kinda concerning.

OP said she will be ringing the police today.
She also felt she was making some headway with her DD and she knows her best.

What's this BS about "allowing" a child to nap? Since when is sleeping some kind of privilege that can be taken away or withheld?

He is the leader of our pack. He says the same thing about me so there you go

There can’t be two leaders of the pack, can there?

You’ve made your Dh head of the family? What shite, if i need to get my kids to do something or speak to them about something myself or their father do it as a team or individually and we are not even together there is no one person ‘in charge’ still chuckling 🤭 head of the household have we been transported back to 1950

Op I really hope things go well for you, and your daughter I think you’ve gone about things how you know best and lots of back seat drivers on here can tell you how they’d do things all they like but they aren’t you and your daughter.

It reminds me of that old tv series "wait til your father gets home!"

1972 is calling.