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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Would you tell your teen you can hear him ...doing what teen boys do....and could he please do it quieter?

151 replies

weebleswobble · 12/09/2007 20:15

I've posted before about walking in on him and learning to knock before entering his room.

Now the problem is I can hear him in my kitchen because his bedroom's above. So, as I prepare dinner/wash up/generally potter, I hear him wanking.

I know it happens, and they all do it, but I really don't want to hear it.

Tactful approach?

OP posts:
riabutterflew · 14/09/2007 16:47

knock three times on the ceiling...

or the led zeppelin song that has the lyrics "squeeze my lemon til the juice runs down my leg..."

whomovedmychocolate · 14/09/2007 22:10

Couldn't you just get him a girlfriend - at least that way it'll be over quicker

whomovedmychocolate · 14/09/2007 22:13

I have three older brother - wankers, the lot of 'em!

It was fine except when one went through a 'bathroom lurking' stage - we only had one bathroom so his 'liaison amoureuse avec la main' had to be rationed to five minutes and then we'd all go round saying very loudly 'is he still in there. What can he be doing? Must be a very large shit!'

JackBlackRoady · 16/09/2007 10:02

I lmao at this thread, that has really cheered me up!
My son is 12 and just getting into all this - so we have had the 'how to strip your bed and load the washing machine' explanation and the 'when to play with it' chat... every age he's at I think he needs more understanding and gentle humour - they never stop needing their mum!

TiramisuTartsandPiesInOrbit · 16/09/2007 10:25

I have two boys, now I know what I have in store..

As for SHEDS, I store hubby in there, have the lawnmower under a tarpaulin, hubby should be glad he is not making do with a lousy tarpaulin.

Desideratas approach is fab, pure comedy material.

However, if you have a radio in kitchen, if you turn it up REALLY loud, he may get the picture?

BellaLasagne · 16/09/2007 10:53

"Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen

bossybritches · 01/10/2007 15:16

wiping tears from eyes & spluttered tea from monitor

They say god only gives you what he knows you can deal with.....which is why I have 2 dd's!!!

MaryAnnSingletomb · 01/10/2007 15:30

omg - when does this all start ?? I'm scared now....

Loshad · 01/10/2007 22:16

walked into Ds1's bedroom over the holidays and was told "go away mum i'm wanking" !!!wish we'd encouraged a slightly less open and direct commication line
he strips his own bed - on demand !

kookaburra · 01/10/2007 22:27

Omigod - have not even begun to think about this - but- coming soon...(DS1 now 9)
I am impressed with the sangfroid of mumsnetters - this is all very useful advice... but -sob- he's my baby boy....

MarsLady · 01/10/2007 22:28

Very good Bella! Very good!

Tortington · 01/10/2007 22:31

loshad - that is quite open!

just told dd she can't just walk into the boys room as she doesn't know what they might be doing - i said poiniently
to "mum.....OMG....MUM"

well they might walk in on you doing same so fairs fair says i
"MUM...OMG....MUM"

MarsLady · 01/10/2007 22:37

lol!

Ah yes........... the joys!

ayashasky · 03/10/2007 07:40

I think I would buy him the William Tell overture and would giggle every time I heard it...this thread is making tears pour down my face!

needmorecoffee · 18/10/2007 13:41

nearly wet muself reading this. Have 3 teengers two are boys.
Not just tissues, get them a bin too.

Mossy · 18/10/2007 13:49

Play "I touch myself" really loudly downstairs when he's at it!!

loopylou6 · 19/10/2007 16:23

omg have just read this thread with a mixture of horror and sheer amusement, could someone tell me when boys begin this...erm...sport? hehe my ds is 8 but very mature, surely he couldnt be indulging already could he?

singingmum · 19/10/2007 16:34

Thanks for this thread.Am now wondering if thats why my 13yr old ds's bed is so bloody noisy in evening
Mind you it could be caused by some of our DVD's we found he had taken up when we weren't in the room(mainly 18's and 15's)Am now having to put them elsewhere and keep close eye as he actually removed them from cases and put cases back so we were none the wiser until we found them recently
Teen boys are crafty beggars it turns out
Aren't teens lovely

Flibbertyjibbet · 19/10/2007 16:39

I love threads like this!! I know nothing about boys as I am one of four girls - but a mum of two boys who gets all these interesting glimpses of my future from other mums netters!!
Thanks weebles, another one that makes me go 'oh my goodness is this what I have coming?'

Original poster
weebleswobble · 19/10/2007 19:47

Singingmum, yet it is the reason and lovely, well, yes, when you can push the thoughts of the noisy bedroom from your mind.

Loopy to my knowledge he hadn't started to indulge, at least in the purposeful way he does now, if you know what I mean, at 8. You could walk in as I did once when you hear suspicious noises and then pour bleach in your eyes.

OP posts:
dejags · 19/10/2007 20:02

I don't think I'd have the patience to be tactful. I cannot abide feeling uncomfortable in my own home.

So something along the lines of:

Keep quiet when you are having a wank, otherwise, or else!!!

dizzydance · 19/10/2007 22:20

I'm sure my 14 yr old is at it in the shower. He spends so long in there and locks himself in. It just cannot take that long to have a shower.

xXxamyxXx · 19/10/2007 22:26

yhey all do it untill they have girlfriends/wives to ennoy with[it]

susiecutiebananas · 19/10/2007 22:41

an ex bf of mine told e about his first go at wanking, he was 11 He said he took a bucket with him to catch the deluge.... nothing happened, so he gave up and tried a year later!

i've never laughed so much in my life... bless his cotton socks

themoon66 · 19/10/2007 23:00

Dizzy... so THAT is why DS (15) takes 40 mins to shower.