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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Would you tell your teen you can hear him ...doing what teen boys do....and could he please do it quieter?

151 replies

weebleswobble · 12/09/2007 20:15

I've posted before about walking in on him and learning to knock before entering his room.

Now the problem is I can hear him in my kitchen because his bedroom's above. So, as I prepare dinner/wash up/generally potter, I hear him wanking.

I know it happens, and they all do it, but I really don't want to hear it.

Tactful approach?

OP posts:
Original poster
weebleswobble · 12/09/2007 21:39

Ranting, in four years you'll be having tissues being delivered by the pallet

OP posts:
rantinghousewife · 12/09/2007 21:40

As long as we can dispense with the Lynx, that will be fine

ShinyHappySchmooo · 12/09/2007 22:00

No no.. Lynx cannot be dispensed with! It is a Rite of Passage... equally as important as first ejaculation!!!

TheHerdNerd · 12/09/2007 22:23

Speaking from the experience that I deffo don't have, you could:
a) Check that his headboard doesn't bang against the wall if you push against the foot. If it does, move it an inch away.
b) Check that the furniture in his room has all 4 feet on the floor. If not, do the beer mat trick.

Or you could just do the banging on the ceiling with broomstick move.

notsofarnow · 12/09/2007 22:43

omw is this what i've got to look foreward to in 10 yrs time - glad i've got 3 girls and only one boy.

Piffle · 12/09/2007 22:44

ask him
what the fuck was that cd you were listenign too at xx am/pm
ask for your money back love, it was just primeval grunts

ElenyaTuesday · 12/09/2007 23:04

God, this thread has scared the hell out of me!!!!!!

tearinghairout · 14/09/2007 11:35

I found strange white stains on ds's sheets and was relieved when he told me his verruca lotion had come off - I didn't mention what I'd thought!!

Original poster
weebleswobble · 14/09/2007 14:41

And you bought that?

OP posts:
mytwopenceworth · 14/09/2007 15:31

His verucca lotion

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

If you bought that, I've got a bridge for sale...........

MarsLady · 14/09/2007 15:43

Ah yes... the joys of a teenage son...

I taught mine to load the washing machine when he was 10 and had the masturbation/wet dreams chat with him at the same time. We've also done the internet porn chat (though there are some MNers who think it's irresponsible to even mention lol.... bless them and their girl carrying genes)!

MB you've got it spot on! Custy.......... as ever singing from the same page. Shiny......... humour... a wonderful thing.

Only 10 years before DT2 starts in on the same nonsense... think I'll send him to DS1!

oregonianabroad · 14/09/2007 16:01

Am holding ds2 on my lap and begging him not to become a teenager (he's only 6 months), and wetting myself at this.
I think it is worth letting him know with a gentle joke but nothing too direct or sarcastic that might make him feel ashamed. I also think music in the kitchen is a good one, you could say something like, 'in future, if i hear strange noises coming from your room, i'm going to put on loud music so you know you should be quieter.'

mytwopenceworth · 14/09/2007 16:08

Make a mix tape to play

My Ding A Ling, by Chuck Berry
Oops, I Did It Again, Britney Spears
All By Myself, Eric Carmen

unknownrebelbang · 14/09/2007 16:09

Am wondering whether it would just be easier all round to get DS1 to read this thread

MarsLady · 14/09/2007 16:13

My Ding A Ling, by Chuck Berry
Oops, I Did It Again, Britney Spears
All By Myself, Eric Carmen
One is the magic number, Jill Scott

Original poster
weebleswobble · 14/09/2007 16:13

MTPW I'm adding "I only have eyes for you" to the play list.

Unknown, it crossed my mind to print this out but it was during a vodka and tonic moment. I've now hidden the vodka and taken the paper out of the printer

OP posts:
Budababe · 14/09/2007 16:16

PMSL at this thread!!!!

DS is 6. What have I let myself in for???

SlightlyMadSweden · 14/09/2007 16:18

Actually - slightly different issue....but when I was dating DP when he lived with his parents. Apparently his parents had told him about their need to turn up the TV on occassion.

He didkn't tell me until many years later and I have to say I was and mortified....

bookwormtailmum · 14/09/2007 16:19

I'm glad I've got a dd so I've not got this in 6 or 7 years time . Unless I fall pg with a ds next time .

tripletsandtwins · 14/09/2007 16:21

I nearly wet myself reading this thread! I've been getting some very strange looks from dh! this has made my day!

missgriss · 14/09/2007 16:21

This is the funniest thread I've read in a long time

DS is only 2 at the moment so I have a few years before this horror is unleashed on me.

DaisyMOO · 14/09/2007 16:22

I had a boyfriend who told me that as a teenager he wanked so much and so often that he gave himself a sore His mum noticed he was walking strangely and insisted on taking him to the doctor to get it checked out

moopymoo · 14/09/2007 16:31

oh my this is freaking me out. i thought i was all enlightened and hippyish but it turns out i am a complete prude. ds is 10 need to get a grip.er..before he does he did ask me the other day what a lap dancer was and i told him and he ran off with hands over ears 'tmi tmi'

kitsandbits · 14/09/2007 16:33

Id bang on the ceiling with a broom!! LOL

DPs mum used to say she could hear us doing it!! One night she brought her boyf home and did it with him in the kitchen - really loud!

And told DP she was getting back at him! It was soooo funny!

serenity · 14/09/2007 16:36

Should I point out that teen girls do it too, just don't make so much of a mess......?

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