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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DS physically attacked me

131 replies

boxingday · 26/12/2019 13:04

We came home after spending the day with family and got into an argument. DS (15) put me in a headlock and threw me onto the floor. He hurt my ears, knees and elbows. He refused to go away from me or let me get away from him and just continued arguing with me. Then he did something else, I can't quite remember what happened, but he ripped my earring out of my ear. We are supposed to be out today but I'm just sitting at home in tears. He said it was all my fault, and I was angry with him but I think it is unacceptable of him to be violent like this.

This morning I took his phone out of his room and have hidden it. I don't know what to do now.

OP posts:
HigherFurtherFasterBaby · 26/12/2019 13:06

Oh OP.

I would ring the police, tbh. The shock might make him think twice next time.

Techway · 26/12/2019 13:07

Omg, that sounds extreme. Has he ever been violent before? Was anyone else there or are you alone with him?

Take some time to process and consider what sanctions you need. Do you have anyone to talk to about this?

Some people may say call the police and it might be needed but are there any other underlying issues/mental health?

HoneysuckIejasmine · 26/12/2019 13:08

I would call the police, personally.

itsgettingweird · 26/12/2019 13:10

Agree with calling the police.

He needs to know NOW that this is unacceptable and not the way to deal with feeling angry and overwhelmed.

If he's done it once he's likely to do it again - to you or someone else.

I really wish they'd recognise children assaulting parents as DV but it doesn't seem that way.

hamstersarse · 26/12/2019 13:11

You haven’t mentioned a DP/ DH so am thinking you may be a lp ( I am too btw)

Teenage boys without the male to bring them back into line (I realise some people will accuse me of being sexist but having brought up 2 teenage boys as a LP I know this is a real thing) may need some ‘bringing into line’ and I would reluctantly agree with pp that you need to call the police. His lack of remorse is worrying

Good luck OP

Tartyflette · 26/12/2019 13:13

My god - that is so far beyond acceptable, it's totally shocking. If you had posted on here saying your DH had attacked you like this you would have had near unanimity in the answers - call the police and throw him out.
I definitely think this needs reporting to the police -- did he damage your ear too, when he ripped out the earring? Take photos.

IHateBlueLights · 26/12/2019 13:15

Police. It will only get worse.

VivaLeBeaver · 26/12/2019 13:16

I’d also call the police. I’d be extremely concerned not just by what he did but by the fact he seems to think he was justified in doing so. The lack of remorse and the fact he’s blaming you is very worrying and he’s likely to do it again. And quite possibly go on to treat future partners like this.

Bobbybobbins · 26/12/2019 13:17

Police definitely. This was a sustained attack and he has shown no remorse.

Mumof1andacat · 26/12/2019 13:18

Do call the police

BrokenWing · 26/12/2019 13:19

Call the police.

I know he is your son and you don't want to get him into trouble, but he needs professional help and a strong message this is violent and never ever acceptable and you can't give him that.

keepingbees · 26/12/2019 13:21

I agree call the police.

Nip this in the bud now. He will do it again if he gets away with it. And if he can do this to his own mum he will have no qualms about doing it to someone else such as a partner in the future.

namechange1041 · 26/12/2019 13:22

Hope you are ok OP. I agree with other posters, please call the police. You don't want to be scared of your own kids in your own house or feel on edge that he will do it again. It's not acceptable and I think ringing the police may scare him, enough to not do it again?
Good luck whatever you decide.

madcatladyforever · 26/12/2019 13:23

I'm so sorry OP but you need to call the police and get him arrested.
Mental health problems do not mean youu have to become violent, my DS has bipolar and however manic he has become he has never once attacked me in his 36 years.
This will escalate if you let it and then he will be violent to his partners and possibly his children - can you allow that?
He needs to learn this behaviour is unacceptable right now before this spirals out of control and he ends up killing somebody.
If he is arrested he will learn very quickly, if not I fear for your safety.
Is there any reason you know of why he would behave like this? Violent father?

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 26/12/2019 13:24

That’s horrendous OP. I agree, get the police.

Original poster
boxingday · 26/12/2019 13:24

Thank you for replying. I'm on my own and just don't know what to do. He has been violent with me before and I threatened to phone the police if he ever did it again. He says it was my fault. I should know better than to get into an argument with him.

OP posts:
madcatladyforever · 26/12/2019 13:25

BTW I was a single parent to a DS also.

Hirsutefirs · 26/12/2019 13:25

Cops.

I can’t think of any other useful course of action.

VivaLeBeaver · 26/12/2019 13:26

You need to follow through on the fact you’ve previously warned him if he did it again you’d call the police. Show him you meant it. For his sake. You’ve got one chance to nip this in the bud and turn him round.

If you don’t it will happen again and you’ll be wishing you’d done it.

DawgLover · 26/12/2019 13:26

Please call the police. He needs to understand that there are consequences to his actions and that violence is not tolerated

madcatladyforever · 26/12/2019 13:26

Even worse he has done it before and you haven't called the police when you said you would. This is a direct challenge to your authority. If you don't call them this time I really fear for you and every woman he comes in contact with. Do it now. Don't wait.

Hirsutefirs · 26/12/2019 13:26

Your pretend threat to call the cops doesn’t seem to have worked. Sorry.

VivaLeBeaver · 26/12/2019 13:26

Is his dad in his life at all? Have you spoken to him about this?

hamstersarse · 26/12/2019 13:27

Try not to overthink it OP.
He attacked you and there needs to be some consequences if you want a chance of him growing up to be a functioning member of society. For whatever reason, there could be a million, he isn’t reflecting you or your safety and only the police can help you with that right now.

I don’t think you have much choice but to follow up on your threat...otherwise this could get seriously seriously even worse.

FredaFrogspawn · 26/12/2019 13:28

For the sake of women in the future as well as you, for his sake, for gods sake - call the police. He needs to know 100% that he can’t do this.