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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

DS physically attacked me

131 replies

boxingday · 26/12/2019 13:04

We came home after spending the day with family and got into an argument. DS (15) put me in a headlock and threw me onto the floor. He hurt my ears, knees and elbows. He refused to go away from me or let me get away from him and just continued arguing with me. Then he did something else, I can't quite remember what happened, but he ripped my earring out of my ear. We are supposed to be out today but I'm just sitting at home in tears. He said it was all my fault, and I was angry with him but I think it is unacceptable of him to be violent like this.

This morning I took his phone out of his room and have hidden it. I don't know what to do now.

OP posts:

Doje · 26/12/2019 13:40

Sorry OP, but I agree you need to phone the police, for your sake and his.

HigherFurtherFasterBaby · 26/12/2019 13:40

Actually Social Services ARE for children who are this level of violent and abusive to their mothers.

anon2000000000 · 26/12/2019 13:41

Phone the police. What happens in the future if you don't and he does this to his partner.

It won't stop with you unless you do something about it.

BrunoLovesMe · 26/12/2019 13:41

I see myself ending up in this position in a few years with my ds. I will call the police (to scare him) and hope that works.

ginyogarepeat · 26/12/2019 13:42

I'm so sorry OP that you've been through this more than once. I really believe that the police is the best option, plus something to help him with his obvious anger management issues. The police will most likely only have strong words with him, they're not going to pursue a prosecution of any sort.

You really need to deal with this now for both yours and your son's sake, otherwise it's fairly guaranteed this will escalate and sooner or later he'll end up seriously hurting someone and with bigger police issues than he could ever have now.

HackAttack · 26/12/2019 13:42

There are specialist counseling services for CHILDREN who have seen DV and go on to become perpetrators without help as their brains are harmed by their parents not keeping them safe

Magpies2forJoy · 26/12/2019 13:43

Do you have a brother @boxingday, or a Dad? Maybe if you got your Dad &/or brother to come to the house (and stay in the background)
while you tell him that you will not have a situation where you cannot challenge him, or you get shoved, pushed to the floor.

Useful22 · 26/12/2019 13:44

You're thinking about letting him get away with it. Hes already shown you he thinks he should be in charge and will take control by any means necessary. How many options do you think you have to show him the correct path....not many. Call the police now, show him you are the parent and in charge.

Grandmi · 26/12/2019 13:44

You poor thing. Are there drugs/ alcohol involved? You most definitely should not be scared of your own son and it’s worrying that he thinks it is acceptable behaviour!! Please try and deal with this now rather than later . Do you have any friends or family who you can turn to ? 💐

NumbersStation · 26/12/2019 13:45

You have told him if he did it again that you would call the police.

He did it again.

If you don’t phone the police he will know that you won’t do anything and he will continue to be violent towards you.

Sweet, call them. You deserve not to live in fear in your own home. You deserve not to be scared of your own child. I fear for your safety. Please call.

Original poster

boxingday · 26/12/2019 13:47

I have a brother. I'm going to ask him to help me.

OP posts:

DavetheCat2001 · 26/12/2019 13:48

At 15 he's going to be big and getting bigger every day.

You need to protect yourself OP as he could potentially really hurt you or worse.

Please come back and let us know that you are listening to all the advice on this thread.

InTheBleakMidwinterIWouldSing · 26/12/2019 13:49

Please do and please think seriously about calling the police.

I know that you want to protect him from the consequences of his actions but I think this is misguided. I don’t think you are doing him any favours by teaching him that this is acceptable behaviour.

DavetheCat2001 · 26/12/2019 13:50

Cross posted.. glad you are going to speak to your brother 💐

NumbersStation · 26/12/2019 13:52

Will he take a telling from your brother do you think?

whatsleep · 26/12/2019 13:54

Glad you’re going to reach out to your brother. I still think you need to call the police but do it with your brother there for support. Like others have said, nothing will change unless you take control by reporting him for his actions.

ProggyMat · 26/12/2019 13:54

This morning I took his phone out of his room and have hidden it
Has your DS realised the phone has gone OP and if so what was his reaction?
If not and given the circumstances I think you are in an extremely vulnerable position.
If above, phone the police.

Hugsgalore · 26/12/2019 13:54

Op I think you are too late in asking for help. I think you need to have the police involved. He needs to know there are very harsh consequences for those type of actions.

cheeseislife8 · 26/12/2019 13:57

I agree OP. If you've told him in the past that you'll call the police and then you don't, he's got no reason to take your word seriously in the future and this will happen again.

Magpies2forJoy · 26/12/2019 13:58

Hirsutefirs · 26/12/2019 13:59

There’s a limit to what your brother can do. Your son knows that.

TheLittleBrownFox · 26/12/2019 13:59

Oh lovely.

Is the an adult Male around who could give him a verbal "no, we don't use violence, ever" type of ear bashing? Not a threat that he will get beaten up if he touches you again, somebody more mature than thay (but preferably who IS strong enough for the implicit threat to be there.

If nobody like that in your lives and available now, then yes, police.

Absolutely no minimising or doing anything vaguely rewarding to him until he's cooled down and sincerely apologised.

Gfplux · 26/12/2019 14:00

Call the Police. You owe it to all the women your DS will harm in the future unless something makes him change.

mummyway · 26/12/2019 14:00

To try and get a better idea of his thinking, can I ask what your argument was over.
He was in the wrong but just trying to understand the situation a bit more

Marshy86 · 26/12/2019 14:02

Hi OP, I'm sorry to hear what your going through. I agree with previous replies if he's done this before and you've told him if he does it again you will call the police you need to follow through with it otherwise he will see anything you say as an empty threat.

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