DS15 not come home and it's 3.17am

[worriedmum80]

Not sure why I'm posting here just need some positive hope and words.

DS15 went out with mates at 5pm told me he'd be back at 10pm.
I texted him at 9.40 asking him not to be late as I was going to bed with DD8mnths. He replied I'll be 40 mins my phone battery is on 2%.
That's the last I've heard from him!!

I'm been trying his phone and it's obviously off now, I e ring the police and reported him missing now I'm just sat here shaking, worried thinking the worst. What more can I do, I feel hopeless! Can't go driving looking around for him, the baby's in bed asleep.

He's not the best behaved teenager, admitted he goes to party with his mates, they sometimes have a few drinks just the usual "teenage" stuff.
Now I'm worried he's got drunk passed out somewhere or been in a fight and in a bad way somewhere. Why would he say he'd be 40 mins. The latest he's ever been is maybe 11-11.30

These boys, they send us insane.

Thank goodness OP!! I hope he feels suitably hanging today as payback!!

Hurrah.

Wow, how dramatic. SO many of us had at least one night as a teen where our phone died whilst we were out/we fell asleep at a friends house and didn't come home till the next day. Can't believe you actually reported him as a missing person!

@Justwondering605

Are you fucking kidding

So glad you have heard from him and he is safe OP.

@w@Justwondering605 wtf he is 15 of course she would ring the police, bloody hell!
Can't believe you have popped up to say that!

He'll be feeling dreadful, no doubt.
Tea, cake, kindness and a few of your tears just to remind him about what he put you through.
Reminds me ( and I'm 54) of when I turned up at home 4 hours late at 2am.
My parents made me phone the police to tell them I was safe. Never did it again.

What a relief! I'm impressed that your local police are going to collect him for you though.

Give him hell - even when you know it's odds-on they are fine, the Worst still plays in the back of your mind. It's just so hard to switch that "Maternal Instinct" button off!

I always used to look in on my kids when I went to bed, even when they were teenagers - (I accept that I was a right fanny of a mother) - and I did so until one night as I peeped round the door my DS said "Mother - I am 14 years old. The probability of cot-death is rather unlikely. Can you stop sticking your head round my door!" I stopped*

*In retrospect, typing this, I realise that I was probably curtailing his wanking activities - didn't occur to me at the time . . . )

I’m so glad he’s safe. What a relief!! I do hope the police talk some sense into him.

" Can't believe you actually reported him as a missing person!"

Well he was-he was due home in 40mins.

Perhaps he'd better learn not to lie about parties!

@Justwondering605 there is a big difference between 15 and 18. When I was 18 and at uni I would frequently not come home, even for days (and there were no mobile phones in those days), my parents would not have made a peep. But 15? My kids (they are girls) were not even allowed out on their own at 15 (this was in London).

Justwondering605

Some of us parents actually care about our child's wellbeing and safety.

And no, not all of us, not our teenage kids and their friends, have done this either! It really isn't the norm for most people in my experience.

If my teenage dd didn't come home and was out of contact of course I'd be worried. I'd be beside myself with worry. And of course I'd be reporting her missing.

Seeing as the police haven't laughed it off and ignore it they feel pretty much the same too.

Justwondering605, I would absolutely report my teenage dd as missing in a situation like this.

If her phone had run out of battery, I would expect her to find a charger or borrow a friend's phone and call me on that.

If a random kid was staying the night at my house, I would insist that he or she informed his parents first.

@Justwondering605
Ffs ops CHILD was missing.

Three cheers for our police!

@Justwondering605

Perhaps other families have different standards? I heard a conversation between teens the other day, where one was complaining of how controlling her parents were, the other replied “at least they care, mine do not give a shit about me”

So glad he is safe, OP. What a relief!

What a relief OP. Horrible for you. I would also have called the police, he is only 15.
He is very young to be getting into this sort of state, is there anything else going on ? Eg is he unhappy at school, or hanging out with older boys ? Although probably he simply kept on drinking as he is too young to have a sense of his limits. Lets hope the police give him a sobering talking to.

@Justwondering605

Ffs ops CHILD was missing

Exactly!

And for all we know OP might live somewhere like Durham - where, tragically, drunken teenagers are occasionally fished out of the river.

Glad he is safe OP.

The teen years have been a shock to me: a return to late nights waiting up for them, the occasional forgotten text etc. I thought lack of sleep was over once the toddler years were done.

You will need to extend his curfew next year, probably. Social life and independence is so important to teens. Our rule was you come home with friends (they live nearby) or in an Uber, and tell us the plan. But I still couldn’t sleep til they were in.

Next rule: never ever leave a friend who is drunk. Get them safely somewhere, and in any doubt, get adult help. His friend did right, looking after him.

Talk to him about why he was scared to come home. Talk about respect and worry. I know you will anyway.

I am almost through the teen period.

all round!

If my 15yo child didn't come home I too would report them missing and not be able to sleep.
There's a big difference between 15 and 18.

Glad to hear he's safe OP.

Teenagers make the toddler years seem easy.

Glad he is ok. But what concerns me is the casual way the OP mentioned him drinking, as if it is remotely normal for 15 year olds to be drinking (it most certainly is not) and no one else has picked up on this. He is only 15! His body cannot cope with alcohol, especially binge-drinking. Getting so drunk, at 15, is a serious risk to his body and health, I'd be calling Social Services tbh. Having 'a few drinks' at 15 years old, and getting "really drunk" let alone "He was that drunk he couldn't get his phone out to put it on charge!"- he is a 15 year old child!

That, is simply NOT normal teenage behaviour. That is a 15 year old child with an out of control binge drinking/alcoholic disorder. What is more scary is that no one until me has pointed this out. Him staying out all night is bad enough; but I think the real serious problem here is he is in very deep with drinking, and OP you need to get him some help. I think him staying out all night is the least of your problems....

Phew so glad he's coming home. Really hope the police give him a scare.

SO many of us had at least one night as a teen where our phone died whilst we were out/we fell asleep at a friends house and didn't come home till the next day

We really didn't. None of my friends did that. He is a child of FIFTEEN. Of course his mum was climbing the walls and thinking the worst - I would be too.

You need a long chat with him OP. Going out, getting so drunk that you can't function is NOT ok, and certainly not OK at 15. It's not a oh what are teenage boys like said with an eye roll scenario.