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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Would your teen be offended by the following

148 replies

AvenueQ · 22/08/2019 19:03

A parent saying about a pool at the holiday villa

"We'll have to send you lot to bed early so that (other parent) and I can go skinny dipping"

OP posts:
AllieDidNotDeserveBea · 22/08/2019 19:51

Cringe yeah, laugh yeah, offended no.

I wouldn't have been offended if my parents said if either od just find it funny Confused but then I've been skinny dipping with my mum and the thought of my mum having sex doesn't necessarily cringe me out.

Zakana · 22/08/2019 19:53

I feel for you trying to keep the peace between your DH and DD , I have the same problem with my DH and DD, it’s soooo bloody difficult, my DD thinks any “joke” my DH comes out with is just not funny or even mildly amusing, don’t envy you at all knowing just how it feels.

pelirocco123 · 22/08/2019 19:55

Mine would have laughed, we were always winding them up like this ..my eldest son as a teenager would have left the room made us do it all the more

BackforGood · 22/08/2019 19:56

What the actual fuck?

You're angry at your DH because your DD is 'raging' about it? confused

'Grow up DD' and then ignore the drama, would be the way to go here.

I can't believe you're angry at your DH because your DD has chosen to take offence.

This ^ is exactly my thoughts.
Your dd needs a grip handing to her. You need to stop facilitating her ridiculous over reaction.

Lipz · 22/08/2019 19:56

No child at ANY age likes to think of their parents having sex. Whether the relationship is strained or not a teen especially would think this utterly gross.

I'd never speak about having sex with any of mine, I don't think I'd even hint about it and we're fairly out spoken.

Mine would be uncomfortable as I'm sure your dd probably is and maybe it's coming across as angry, maybe it's the only way she can show her uncomfortableness.

notacooldad · 22/08/2019 19:57

16 and raging at a joke dad made?
She needs to get a huge grip ( unless theres a huge drip feed on it's way) same with you for being angry.
I'd just tell them all to shut up!!!

beccarocksbaby · 22/08/2019 20:04

I just asked my son (12) how he would feel.

He said that he would just answer that as we are the old farts we should be in bed and he can go skinny dipping.

He came on our honeymoon and we had a villa.

We are pretty open about sex though, and positive about sex. Son has told us to shut up on one occasion which was so embarrassing for me but we talked about it afterwards. He said he was taking the piss and I was over reacting 🤦🏻‍♀️

Sounds like your DD needs to realise that naked bodies and sex in a marriage are quite normal things.

LemonPrism · 22/08/2019 20:06

My brothers wouldn't care. They'd probably wait til the next night and do it themselves or make a joke about whale watching.

It's hardly saying so he could have sex, it's just naked swimming. I think she's reacting to embarrassment with anger which she should try and avoid. Not healthy.

Pinkblueberry · 22/08/2019 20:09

No child at ANY age likes to think of their parents having sex. Whether the relationship is strained or not a teen especially would think this utterly gross.

No one mentioned having sex Confused why are you talking about them having sex??

Whitegrenache · 22/08/2019 20:11

We were just walking home from our evening meal and a few drinks tonight and my dp said "kids you need to go to bed so Mam and I can snog in the balcony" I made a puking noise and dd 14 and ds 10 laughed

But that's our sense of humour

Pinkblueberry · 22/08/2019 20:11

My brothers wouldn't care. They'd probably wait til the next night and do it themselves or make a joke about whale watching.

Same here. Makes me grateful to have a family with a sense of humour I suppose. You don’t know what you’ve got sometimes until you read threads like this Confused

WoollyMummoth · 22/08/2019 20:33

Some massive overreactions to a bit of naked swimming.
So glad we’re not a prim and proper family. My teens would have just laughed and moved on.
Raging? What’s that all about?!

lljkk · 22/08/2019 20:56

DH has banter like this all day long with teen DD. They think it's hilarious.

Pringlemunchers · 22/08/2019 21:27

No they do not

Comefromaway · 22/08/2019 21:33

They would be horrified in a cringe way but have heard worse.

I take it she’s not actually sat through Avenue Q with you?!!!

Haffdonga · 22/08/2019 21:46

Ours would have made puke noises. Repulsed yes. Offended? Not at all.

I actually think it's quite healthy and normal for an adult couple to show mild physical affection/ attraction towards each other in front their teen dcs. Let them see you are a couple of real humans and not just parents.

It seems very strange and divisive that you would be angry with your dh over his comment. You are not helping him build his relationship with his dd by supporting her overreaction rather than him.

TSSDNCOP · 22/08/2019 21:56

DS would, if he heard it over his devices, walk around going “puke, puke, puke”. That’s surely the standard response?

Then again, he’s the ultimate skinny dipper.

SunshineDays2019 · 22/08/2019 22:55

I feel sorry for your poor DH. My teen would have rolled her eyes and laughed but she is used to DH and his daft banter. I agree you should not be cross with him and instead tell DD to lighten up and not be a moody mare. Presumably you/DH have paid for the holiday and how sad for the atmosphere to be ruined. I hope things improve and that your DH and DD can find some common ground. I know he's the adult but it takes two to make a relationship work so she needs to try.

Superted2 · 22/08/2019 22:58

Your DD sounds like a moron

ssd · 22/08/2019 22:59

No, you do Superted2

BillywilliamV · 22/08/2019 23:04

I always tell my teen girls that their dad and I had sex twice but we didn't like the results so we stopped. Gets a eeugh! every time, but suspect this teen is just looking for a chance to be mad at her Dad. Ignore!

MiniMum97 · 22/08/2019 23:06

Your DD needs to chill out. Not sure why you'd be angry at your DH over this. Your DD needs to lighten up. If it made her feel uncomfortable that's her issue. The world doesn't revolve around her!

MiniMum97 · 22/08/2019 23:08

I would be cross with her for making such a drama out of a light hearted comment.

Greensleeves · 22/08/2019 23:14

Mine would wince exaggeratedly and make a sarky comment back. It certainly wouldn't upset or anger either of them.

I find your dd's reaction very odd. You say she thinks her dad is an oaf? Why? How long have things been like this between them?

EAIOU · 22/08/2019 23:18

I think her reaction is understandable.

Body issues and sexuality and exploring of these things at that age can fuel confusion, angst and different emotions.

It does depend on how sex or body image is discussed in your house though.

It is entirely normal to give an over the top reaction to your parents being naked in a pool together as she can at that age see this leading to sexual ideas. I certainly didnt want to hear or think of my parents having sex. As adults we now joke about these things but as a young teen, it would of been too much for me due to sex being a non topic in our home and a very short talk on periods and dealing with them.

Some people aren't as comfortable with these things and I dont think its healthy to tell her to grow up or tell her not to choose to be offended.

No-one has the right to tell you how to feel.

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